What The Hell Do I Know w/JB

What happens when following Jesus puts you at odds with the Christianity around you?

In Episode 107 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, I sit down with Adam Bowles, a pastor from Connecticut, former journalist, and founder of Castle Church in Norwich, Connecticut.

Adam grew up in a high control religious environment where spiritual abuse, fear, and condemnation were often confused with faith. Yet somehow, in the middle of all that, he found Jesus.

As Adam puts it, “I was baptized in dirty water.”

Today, Adam is speaking out about Christian nationalism, the treatment of immigrants, the silence of the American church, and what happens when political power becomes more important than the teachings of Jesus.

But this conversation isn't just about what's wrong with Christianity. It's about what might be possible when we rediscover grace, humility, compassion, and a faith big enough to welcome difficult questions.

We talk about:

• Growing up in spiritually abusive Christianity

• Why Adam believes the church has a crisis of humility

• How Christian nationalism distorts the message of Jesus

• Why defending immigrants and vulnerable people isn't simply politics

• Deconstruction, reconstruction, and the freedom to question inherited theology

• Finding Jesus in places the church told us not to look

• Why walking away from harmful religion doesn't necessarily mean walking away from Jesus

• What to do when you're questioning your faith but don't know where to turn

One of my favorite moments comes when Adam says he'd rather find God in the wilderness than sit with the devil in a pew.

That's a challenging statement. And it's one worth sitting with.

Adam is a humble, thoughtful, compassionate brother whose work reminds me why I still hold on to Jesus.

If you've been hurt by the church, if you're questioning what you inherited, or if you're struggling to reconcile the Jesus of the Gospels with the Christianity you see around you, I hope this conversation encourages you.

You are not alone in asking questions.

And maybe your faith isn't falling apart.

Maybe it's stretching.

CONNECT WITH ADAM BOWLES

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adambowles/

Castle Church: https://castle.church

CONNECT WITH JB

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_jason_becker/

Website: https://vintagewisdom.org

Subscribe for conversations about faith, doubt, grace, deconstruction, and rediscovering Jesus.

If you're a believer, I hope I can stretch your definition of grace. If you're not a believer, I hope I can help you start doubting your unbelief.

WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW WITH JB

Episode 107 | Adam Bowles

#AdamBowles #ChristianNationalism #FaithDeconstruction

What happens when following Jesus starts feeling more like a performance than a relationship?

In Episode 106 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB*, I sit down with Monica Ritchie, author of *Fashioned by Faith*, to talk about spiritual formation, deconstruction, doubt, and the freedom to pursue Jesus without pretending we have everything figured out.

For many of us, Christianity was handed down as a checklist. Pray more. Read more. Believe the right things. Don't ask too many questions.

But what if becoming more like Jesus isn't about checking the right boxes?

Monica and I explore what it means to move beyond performative Christianity and discover spiritual practices that actually shape how we live, love, and see others.

We talk about:

• Why God isn't surprised by our doubts, questions, or humanity
• Deconstructing harmful expectations without abandoning Jesus
• The difference between performing faith and embodying it
• How to read difficult passages of Scripture with humility
• Spiritual disciplines that create space for grace instead of guilt
• Why every person deserves dignity as someone made in God's image
• How to recognize God's goodness without denying real suffering
• Why calling out harmful church practices can be an act of love

One of my favorite reminders from this conversation is that we don't have to agree on every theological question to treat one another with dignity, kindness, and respect.

If you're questioning the faith you inherited, struggling with religious expectations, or simply trying to become more like Jesus, I hope this conversation encourages you.

📖 **Monica's book: Fashioned by Faith**
Find Monica's book wherever books are sold.

🎙️ **What the Hell Do I Know with JB**
New conversations every Tuesday.

Subscribe for honest conversations about faith, doubt, deconstruction, grace, and what it means to follow Jesus in a complicated world.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_jason_becker/
YouTube: @whatthehelldoiknowjb
Website: https://www.vintagewisdom.org/

If you're a believer, I hope I can stretch your definition of grace. If you're an unbeliever, I hope I can help you start doubting your unbelief.

#FaithDeconstruction #MonicaRitchie #ChristianPodcast

What happens when the faith you were taught to trust becomes the very thing keeping you trapped?

In Episode 105 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB*, I sit down with Jubilee Dawn, creator and host of the **Healed-Ish** podcast, for an honest and sometimes heartbreaking conversation about religious trauma, spiritual manipulation, purity culture, abusive relationships, and the freedom to question everything you were taught.

Jubilee grew up in evangelical Christianity, attended ministry school connected to Bethel, and eventually married a man she believed God had chosen for her through a prophetic word.

But that marriage became abusive. And the theology she had inherited made leaving feel like disobeying God.

We talk about what happens when forgiveness becomes an obligation, when fear of hell replaces love, and when religious certainty makes it almost impossible to recognize abuse.

We also explore:

• The influence of Bethel and charismatic Christianity
• Purity culture and the shame it creates
• How spiritual authority can enable manipulation
• Why leaving an abusive marriage felt like sin
• The fear of hell and the freedom to question it
• LGBTQ+ inclusion and the harm of exclusionary theology
• Deconstruction without pressure to arrive at someone else's conclusions
• What churches can learn by actually listening to survivors

One of my favorite parts of this conversation is Jubilee's reminder that healing doesn't have to happen on anyone else's timeline.

You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to know exactly what you believe tomorrow. And you certainly don't have to remain somewhere harmful to prove your faithfulness.

Sometimes freedom begins with permission to ask a question.

**CONNECT WITH JUBILEE DAWN**

Instagram: @jublieedawns
Podcast: Healed-Ish

**CONNECT WITH JB**

Instagram: @_jason_becker
Website: https://www.vintagewisdom.org

Subscribe to *What the Hell Do I Know with JB* for honest conversations about faith, doubt, deconstruction, grace, and following Jesus beyond the boundaries of institutional religion.

**CONTENT NOTE:** This episode includes discussions of domestic violence, strangulation, childhood abuse, religious trauma, and spiritual manipulation.

#ReligiousTrauma #JubileeDawn #FaithDeconstruction

This conversation was recorded several months before the passing of Jim Bakker on October 5, 2026.

At the time, I had no idea that my conversation with his son, Jay Bakker, would carry this kind of weight when it was released.

We talked about his father. His mother, Tammy Faye. The scandals, the pain, the complicated family relationships, and the kind of grace that doesn't require us to pretend those things never happened.

One moment in particular has stayed with me.

Jay recalled a conversation with his father about discovering a grace so radical that it almost seemed impossible to believe.

His father's response?

"We kind of thought it was too good to be true as well."

In this episode of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jay and I explore what happens when grace becomes bigger than the religious systems we've built around it.

As Jay puts it, "Grace is anarchy."

We talk about growing up in one of America's most recognizable Christian families, the cost of affirming LGBTQ people, religious certainty, deconstruction, biblical interpretation, and what it means to keep following Jesus when so much of what you've inherited no longer makes sense.

And we talk about forgiveness.

Not the kind that erases harm or pretends everything was okay. But the kind that makes room for complicated people, complicated relationships, and the possibility of hope.

With the recent passing of Jim Bakker, I want to be especially mindful that Jay and his family are grieving. This conversation was recorded long before his father's death, and Jay's reflections should be heard in that context.

I'm grateful Jay trusted me with this conversation, and I'm grateful for his willingness to keep asking difficult questions while holding onto grace.

**IN THIS EPISODE:**

• Growing up as the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker
• Jay's relationship with his father and their different understandings of faith
• A remarkable conversation between Jay and Jim about grace
• Why Jay says "Grace is anarchy"
• The personal cost of LGBTQ inclusion
• Why defending Christianity isn't always the same as following Jesus
• Faith, doubt, deconstruction, and biblical interpretation
• Forgiveness without denying the past
• What it means to remain a prisoner of hope

**CONNECT WITH JAY BAKKER**

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaybakker/

Revolution Church: https://revolutionchurch.com

**CONNECT WITH JB**

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_jason_becker/

Website: https://vintagewisdom.org

If you're questioning faith but aren't ready to quit Jesus, this conversation is for you.

Subscribe to What the Hell Do I Know with JB for honest conversations about faith, doubt, grace, church hurt, and finding our way forward.

If you're a believer, I hope I can stretch your definition of grace. And if you're an unbeliever, I hope I can help you start doubting your unbelief.

#JayBakker #JimBakker #RadicalGrace #FaithDeconstruction #WhatTheHellDoIKnow

What happens when following Jesus starts costing you the version of Christianity you were handed?

In Episode 103 of *What the Hell Do I Know?*, I sit down with Jeremy Jernigan, author of *The Edge of the Inside*, for a conversation about deconstruction, church hurt, certainty, Christian nationalism, LGBTQ+ inclusion, and what it actually means to follow the way of Jesus.

Jeremy once had what he describes as his dream job—leading a multi-campus megachurch in Oregon with thousands of people attending each weekend. Then 2020 happened. George Floyd was murdered, the country erupted, and Jeremy felt the church needed to lean into the pain and conversations happening in its community.

He was told, essentially: just preach Jesus.

That moment changed everything.

We talk about what happens when the institution of Christianity and the way of Jesus no longer seem to be pointing in the same direction.

Jeremy says something in this conversation that stopped me:

“Certainty is the idol of the church right now.”

We also get into why deconstruction can feel terrifying, how church systems can become influenced by money and power, creating genuinely safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people, the difference between evangelism and discipleship, and why neither of us believes following Jesus requires having all the answers.

And after everything Jeremy has lost and questioned, I ask him one final question:

Why would anyone still want to follow Jesus?

His answer is worth hearing.

Jeremy Jernigan
Instagram: @jeremy.jernigan
Website: jeremyjernigan.com
Book: *The Edge of the Inside* — available wherever books are sold.

Jason Becker
Instagram: @_jason_becker
Website: vintagewisdom.org

🎙️ *What the Hell Do I Know? with JB*
Episode 103

If you’re questioning your faith, rebuilding it, holding onto Jesus, or simply trying to figure out what you believe—you’re welcome here.

#Deconstruction #Jesus #ChurchHurt #FaithAndDoubt #JeremyJernigan #ChristianPodcast #Exvangelical #FollowingJesus

What if deconstruction doesn’t have to mean destroying your faith?

Mattie Mae Motl is a Bible scholar and PhD candidate studying gender, sexuality, and masculinity in the New Testament. Raised Southern Baptist as a pastor’s daughter, Mattie grew up loving Scripture. But the deeper she studied it, the more questions she began to ask.

Today, her faith looks radically different, but she hasn’t walked away from Jesus.

In Episode 102, Mattie and I talk about deconstruction, biblical interpretation, LGBTQ+ inclusion, patriarchy, what Scripture actually is, and whether the church can become a place where people on the margins are not merely tolerated but celebrated.

Mattie says something during our conversation that I absolutely love:

When I ask how she continues holding onto Jesus, she answers, “I think he holds on to me. He won’t let me go.”

We also talk about why she doesn’t see deconstruction as demolition. For her, it looks more like renovating something we inherited and asking what is worth keeping, what needs to change, and what Jesus might actually be inviting us into.

We don’t have to agree on every theological question to stay curious, keep learning, and love people well.

Follow Mattie Mae Motl:
Instagram: @mattiemaemotl

Follow me:
Instagram: @_jason_becker

WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW WITH JB

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What happens when a pastor spends nine years trying to hold onto Jesus…and eventually realizes he no longer believes?

Dr. Todd Phillips spent more than two decades as a Christian and pastor, serving in some of the largest evangelical churches in America. But after years of questioning, studying, wrestling and searching for reasons to stay, Todd eventually landed somewhere he never expected: he now describes himself as a “non-resistant nonbeliever.”

And he didn’t get there easily.

In this conversation, Todd and I sit down for an honest discussion about deconstruction, doubt, biblical inerrancy, hell, salvation, suffering, the resurrection, certainty, and what happens when the faith that once gave your entire life meaning begins to unravel.

Todd and I don’t land in the same place. I’m still holding onto Jesus. But I understand the questions he’s asking, because I’m wrestling with plenty of my own.

This isn’t a debate.

It’s two former pastors sitting across from each other, talking honestly about belief, unbelief, and what it costs to question something that once defined your entire life.

We talk about:

• Why Todd spent nine years trying to remain a Christian
• The questions that began his deconstruction
• Why he believes belief itself isn’t a choice
• Biblical inerrancy and learning to think critically about Scripture
• Original sin, hell and the problem of suffering
• Losing the certainty of heaven
• Finding meaning and hope after Christianity
• Why deconstruction can feel incredibly isolating
• Todd’s new Deacon Recon community
• Whether believers and nonbelievers can create safe spaces for honest questions
• Why critical thinking matters more than ever

Wherever you are in your faith journey, I hope this conversation gives you permission to ask the questions honestly.

You don’t have to land where Todd landed.

You don’t have to land where I landed.

But I think we should be able to sit across the table from one another and talk about it.

FOLLOW DR. TODD PHILLIPS
Decon Recon: Don’t deconstruct alone.
https://www.skool.com/deconrecon/about

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@drtoddphillips

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/drtoddphillips/

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Drtoddphillips/

TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@UCKQtyeCvV8pBONewR_WjKBg

FOLLOW JB
Instagram: @_jason_becker

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#Deconstruction #Faith #Christianity #ExPastor

What if challenging the Church’s treatment of women isn’t walking away from Jesus—but an attempt to follow him more faithfully?

For the landmark 100th episode of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Meghan Tschanz—author of Women Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice and host of the Faith and Feminism podcast.

Raised in conservative evangelical Christianity, Meghan was taught that women should not preach, teach or lead and that their primary role was to submit to and serve their husbands.

She tried to accept those teachings because she loved God.

Then her ministry experiences forced her to ask whether those ideas actually reflected Jesus.

While traveling through 11 countries in 11 months, Meghan encountered women and girls facing female genital mutilation, sex trafficking, educational inequality, sexual violence and systems that treated them as less valuable than men.

In Kenya, girls quietly asked whether female circumcision also happened in America. Meghan eventually learned that each of them had experienced it.

In the Philippines, she confronted an American man purchasing access to trafficked women and girls. He told her women were created to serve men and that Western women no longer knew their proper place.

The language sounded disturbingly familiar.

It echoed teachings Meghan had heard in church.

That encounter triggered a crisis of faith and began a deeper examination of patriarchy, biblical womanhood, sexual violence, church power and the life of Jesus.

Jason and Meghan discuss:

• Growing up in conservative evangelical Christianity
• Being taught that women should not preach, teach or lead
• The connection between male dominance and abuse
• Female genital mutilation and sex trafficking
• Why sexual violence is often rooted in dominance and control
• Whether biblical womanhood is actually biblical
• Women in Scripture who resisted patriarchal expectations
• How Jesus empowered women and defended marginalized people
• Why feminism does not mean hating men
• What men can do to become better allies
• Why women often remain silent when they feel unsafe
• Purity culture and the burden it places on girls
• Why men need to confront other men
• The Church’s responsibility to protect survivors
• Sex trafficking, wealth, power and exploitation
• Why charity cannot replace systemic change
• Why transparency is essential for churches
• How patriarchy also harms boys and men
• Masculinity, emotional repression and mental health
• Jesus as a model of non-dominating masculinity
• Deconstruction as an act of faithfulness rather than rebellion

Meghan argues that the women of Scripture do not resemble the passive, silent version of biblical womanhood many Christians have been taught. Women such as Tamar, Esther, Deborah, Shiphrah and Puah resisted unjust systems, acted courageously and were honored for it.

She also challenges men to begin by listening.

Ask the women in your life whether they have ever felt unsafe, harassed, objectified or dismissed. Do not minimize their experiences. Learn to recognize situations you may never have noticed because you have not lived inside a woman’s body.

When men witness harassment or degradation, Meghan encourages them to intervene. Men who refuse to respect a woman’s boundaries may listen when another man speaks.

This is not simply a conversation about politics or labels.

It is a conversation about power.

It is about whether Christian communities will protect institutions or protect people. It is about whether worship, church attendance and religious language mean anything when justice, mercy and care for the marginalized are absent.

Most importantly, it is about Jesus.

Meghan did not begin questioning patriarchy because she stopped loving Christ. She began questioning it because the systems she witnessed did not resemble him.

Learn more about Meghan, her work and the Faith and Feminism podcast:
https://meghantschanz.com

Learn more about the Equal Rights Amendment and why Meghan believes it still matters:
https://meghantschanz.com/equal-rights-amendment-now/

Follow Meghan:
Instagram: @meghantschanz

Book:
Women Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice

Follow Jason Becker:
Instagram: @_jason_becker

Learn more:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

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Subscribe, leave a comment and share Episode 100 with someone willing to reconsider what they have always been taught.

What teaching about women, power or faith have you had to examine more closely?

#MeghanTschanz #WomanRising #FaithAndFeminism #BiblicalWomanhood #ChristianFeminism #WomenInTheChurch #Patriarchy #ChurchHurt #ChristianDeconstruction #WomenInMinistry #FaithAndJustice #ChristianPodcast #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Episode100

What happens when professional success cannot heal the pain you have carried since childhood?

In Episode 99 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Neko Parham—actor, writer, producer, director, acting coach, youth mentor and creative director whose career has included projects such as The Wire, Ant-Man, NYPD Blue, Sleepy Hollow, Mr. Mercedes, Bessie and Sabotage.

But this conversation goes far beyond Hollywood.

Neko opens up about growing up in Decatur, Georgia, being raised in a home filled with strong women and watching his father struggle with cocaine addiction. He remembers seeing the pain it caused his mother, discovering drugs being prepared inside their home and eventually reaching a moment when his anger became so overwhelming that he planned to kill his father.

Then a Stevie Wonder song interrupted that moment.

Neko describes it as the Holy Spirit reminding him that another life was still possible—a life beyond rage, violence and the pain of his childhood.

Years later, after leaving home, pursuing acting and building a successful career, Neko realized the people closest to him did not even know his father was alive. That realization forced him to confront the resentment, grief and emotional distance he had buried.

He eventually wrote his father a four-page letter explaining what their relationship had been—and what he still hoped it could become.

When his father did not immediately respond, Neko made the call himself.

What followed was an emotional two-hour conversation filled with anger, tears, laughter, honesty and reconciliation. In the middle of that conversation, Neko told his father:

“Dude, I just want you.”

That moment changed their relationship.

This episode explores:

• Neko’s career in acting, writing and filmmaking
• Working on Ant-Man and other major Hollywood productions
• Discovering acting as a teenager
• How theater helped him express buried trauma
• Growing up surrounded by strong Black women
• His father’s cocaine addiction and return to the church
• Church hurt, shame and relapse
• Witnessing the emotional pain in his parents’ marriage
• The night Neko planned to kill his father
• How music interrupted a moment of violence
• Leaving home and emotionally separating from his family
• The father wound many men carry silently
• The difference between saying “I forgive you” and actually healing
• Writing his father a vulnerable four-page letter
• Learning to wrestle without losing reverence
• Understanding his father’s own childhood trauma
• Reframing the stories we tell about our parents
• Therapy, emotional language and generational healing
• Becoming the father he needed as a child
• Why transparency builds trust between parents and children
• Mentoring young actors and helping them discover purpose
• Creating stories that make young people feel seen
• Birth Mob Media and storytelling with purpose
• Why healing must begin with the person in the mirror

Neko’s story is not about pretending the damage never happened. It is about recognizing that what happened is true—but asking what else might also be true.

His father hurt him.

His father also carried wounds of his own.

Their lost years cannot be recovered, but today they have a relationship built through honesty, compassion, boundaries and the decision not to surrender to the past.

Neko’s final challenge is simple:

Start the healing journey today.

Do not wait for the person who hurt you to change first. Love yourself enough to address your own wounds, clean up your side of the street and release some of the weight you have been carrying.

Follow Neko at BirthMobMedia.com

Follow Neko Parham:
Instagram: @m.nekoparham

Follow Jason Becker:
Instagram: @_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

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What would you say to your father or mother if you knew they would truly listen?

#NekoParham #FatherWound #FatherSonRelationship #AddictionRecovery #Forgiveness #GenerationalTrauma #HealingJourney #MensMentalHealth #ChildhoodTrauma #FaithAndHealing #ChristianPodcast #HollywoodActor #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Episode99

What if asking hard questions isn't the opposite of faith...

What if it's actually the beginning of owning it?

In Episode 98 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB*, Jason sits down with brothers Max Hall and Caleb Hall—filmmakers, musicians, storytellers, entrepreneurs and lifelong preacher's kids—to explore one of the biggest questions facing this generation:

How do you make your faith your own?

Growing up in church, attending Christian school, serving as missionary kids and living under the expectations that often come with being pastor's children, Max and Caleb experienced Christianity from every angle. But eventually both realized inherited faith wasn't enough. They each had to wrestle with God personally.

This conversation explores:

• Growing up as preacher's kids
• Church expectations and perfectionism
• Why every believer eventually has to own their faith
• Deconstruction versus reconstruction
• Why Christianity is durable enough for difficult questions
• The importance of asking "Why?" before "What's right?"
• Making Jesus the center instead of religious systems
• Raising children who feel safe asking questions
• Why authenticity matters more than appearing perfect
• Creativity, filmmaking and telling redemptive stories
• Building Birth Mom Media and creating art that reflects real life
• Finding your purpose without chasing popularity
• Faith, imagination and storytelling

One of the most powerful moments comes when Max explains that Christianity shouldn't fear honest questions because **faith is durable.** Rather than suppressing doubt, he encourages believers to wrestle with it, trusting that truth can withstand scrutiny.

Caleb shares his own journey of realizing that following Jesus couldn't simply be inherited from his parents. Like every believer, he had to decide for himself whether he trusted Christ enough to surrender his own plans.

Whether you're deconstructing, reconstructing, questioning, raising kids or simply trying to follow Jesus more authentically, this conversation is filled with wisdom, grace and hope.

BirthMobMedia.com

Follow Max Hall:
@maxedwardhall

Follow Caleb Hall:
@calebglennhall

Follow Jason Becker:
@_jason_becker

Learn more:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

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What question changed your faith the most?

#MaxHall #CalebHall #FaithIsDurable #ChristianPodcast #FaithJourney #PreachersKid #ChurchHurt #FaithQuestions #ChristianDeconstruction #Jesus #Christianity #FaithAndCulture #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

What happens when a licensed therapist, Army chaplain, firefighter and follower of Jesus challenges the Church to become more like Christ instead of simply looking Christian?

In Episode 97 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB*, Jason sits down with Nick Young—licensed therapist, pastor, former Army National Guard chaplain, former firefighter, co-founder of Black Boy Therapy, and one of the most compassionate voices speaking into faith, race and mental health today.

Nick's life has been dedicated to serving others. From the fire service to military chaplaincy, from counseling trauma survivors to advocating for the emotional wellness of Black boys and men, his message is rooted in one simple belief:

Following Jesus should make us more loving—not more certain.

Together, Jason and Nick wrestle through some of today's biggest conversations:

• Why Christians often prioritize politics over the Holy Spirit
• Race, reconciliation and seeing every person as made in God's image
• Why therapy isn't a lack of faith—it can be an act of faithful stewardship
• Church hurt, shame and learning to receive grace
• Deconstruction versus making your faith your own
• Why wrestling with God is actually biblical
• Mental health, anxiety, depression and healing
• Why certainty may be replacing genuine faith
• The role of community in emotional and spiritual healing
• Ego, humility and the freedom found in the Gospel
• The beauty of gratitude in seasons of suffering
• What abundant life actually means according to Jesus

One of the most powerful moments comes when Nick shares how he would explain Jesus to someone who has never heard the Gospel—a beautiful reminder that Jesus fed people before questioning them, loved the marginalized and came to set people free through grace, justice and radical love.

Whether you're wrestling with your faith, rebuilding after church hurt, navigating anxiety or simply trying to follow Jesus more authentically, this conversation is for you.

Follow Nick Young:
Instagram: @nickyoungslife

Follow Jason Becker:
Instagram: @_jason_becker

Learn more:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

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What part of your faith have you had to wrestle with—and how has God met you there?

#NickYoung #MentalHealth #ChristianTherapy #FaithAndMentalHealth #ChurchHurt #ChristianPodcast #Deconstruction #FaithJourney #HolySpirit #Grace #Jesus #BlackBoyTherapy #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

What happens when a pastor’s kid, Pentecostal preacher and student of early church history begins questioning everything he was taught about salvation, politics, capitalism and the gospel?

In Episode 96 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Colten Barnaby, a writer and online creator known for exploring the complicated intersection of theology, politics, history and culture.

Colten grew up in a strict Oneness Holiness Pentecostal tradition in North Philadelphia. His family’s church served people experiencing homelessness, addiction, poverty and incarceration while also teaching an intense, highly specific formula for salvation.

He spoke in tongues as a child, interpreted messages in church and believed most Christians outside his tradition were lost. But when he attended Oral Roberts University and began studying biology, politics and early church history, the certainty of his childhood faith began to unravel.

Today, Colten describes himself as an agnostic Pentecostal with Eastern Orthodox proclivities. He is no longer confident that God exists, but he remains deeply shaped by Christianity and continues to cling to the beauty of the incarnation, the resurrection and the radical witness of the early church.

This conversation explores:

• Growing up in Oneness Holiness Pentecostalism
• Speaking in tongues and interpreting prophecy as a child
• The fear of hell and formula-based salvation
• How studying church history disrupted his certainty
• Carlton Pearson and the gospel of inclusion
• Christian universalism and salvation
• Why Colton still identifies as Pentecostal
• What it means to be an agnostic Christian
• The incarnation and why Colten still clings to Jesus
• Whether Christianity is compatible with capitalism
• Why the word “gospel” was originally political
• The early church sharing possessions and eliminating need
• Acts 2, Acts 4 and Christian economic community
• Socialism, communism and the kingdom of God
• Why Christians should not simply baptize Republican or Democratic politics
• Wealth, private property, generosity and costly grace
• Whether Christian faith should put us in conflict with the dominant culture
• Loving people who strongly disagree with us
• Why being open to people matters more than being open to ideas

Colten argues that Christians should not begin with a modern political ideology and then search Scripture for support. Instead, they should take seriously the teachings of Jesus, the prophets and the early church—and allow those teachings to challenge every political and economic system.

The early believers held possessions in common, sold property and distributed resources so there was not a needy person among them. Colten asks a difficult question: if the church’s current way of life never puts it in conflict with wealth, domination or empire, has it truly embraced the narrow and costly way of Jesus?

Follow Colten Barnaby on Instagram:
@coltenbarnaby

Read Colten’s work on Substack:
Kensington Cohen

Follow Jason Becker:
@_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to the sponsors who help make these conversations possible:

Floorzz
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TruNorth Pest Control
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Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone willing to wrestle honestly with faith, politics, wealth and the teachings of Jesus.

Do you believe the modern church’s relationship with money and political power reflects the early church?

#ColtenBarnaby #ChristianPolitics #ChristianSocialism #ChristianDeconstruction #EarlyChurch #FaithAndPolitics #UniversalSalvation #ChristianUniversalism #Pentecostal #ChurchHistory #CapitalismAndChristianity #ProgressiveChristianity #ChristianPodcast #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

Can you question what you were taught, outgrow fear-based Christianity and still hold on to Jesus?

In Episode 95 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Tiffany Dawn, host of the Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl podcast.

Tiffany is an author, speaker, writer and mother of two who helps people move from a black-and-white understanding of faith toward a more honest, nuanced and grace-filled relationship with God.

Tiffany grew up deeply immersed in a Pentecostal Christian community. Her childhood included powerful experiences of faith, sincere people who loved God and teachings that also created fear, pressure and an all-or-nothing understanding of Christianity.

As Tiffany began asking harder questions and speaking publicly about the ways her beliefs were changing, she lost thousands of followers. But she knew she could no longer continue giving advice that she now believed could cause harm.

This conversation explores:

• Outgrowing fear-based Christianity without abandoning Jesus
• Why questioning faith is not the same as losing faith
• The good and harmful parts of growing up in church
• Breaking free from black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking
• How Tiffany’s father taught her to think for herself
• Listening to people on the other side of difficult issues
• Losing followers after becoming honest about changing beliefs
• LGBTQ+ inclusion and learning through personal relationships
• Creating churches that are safe places of healing
• Why some deconstruction may actually be revival
• Loving people while still challenging harmful theology
• The difference between bringing new life and simply burning everything down
• Mental health, anxiety, therapy and moving beyond shame
• Presenting Jesus as radical welcome instead of behavior management
• Why the future of church may look more like circles, tables and shared meals than stadiums and stages

Tiffany describes faith as something that can contain both beauty and pain. The same church can hold sincere love for God and harmful theology. Outgrowing one does not require denying the other.

This is a conversation for anyone who has wondered whether there is still a place for them in Christianity, anyone who feels caught between certainty and doubt, and anyone trying to follow Jesus without pretending they have all the answers.

Listen to Tiffany’s podcast:

Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl

Follow Tiffany Dawn on Instagram:
@tiffanydawniqb

Follow Jason Becker:
@_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to the sponsors who help make these conversations possible:

Floorzz
[www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control
[www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone who is questioning, untangling or rebuilding their faith.

What parts of your faith have you had to outgrow—and what have you chosen to keep?

#TiffanyDawn #OutgrowingTheGoodChristianGirl #ChristianDeconstruction #FaithDeconstruction #ChristianPodcast #FaithPodcast #ProgressiveChristianity #QuestioningFaith #ChurchHurt #Exvangelical #ReconstructingFaith #JesusAndDeconstruction #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

What does the justice of Jesus actually look like—and has the modern church confused the way of Jesus with power, empire and control?

In Episode 94 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Father Joash Thomas, priest, theologian, speaker and author of The Justice of Jesus.

Born and raised in Mumbai, India, Joash brings a perspective shaped by an ancient Christian heritage, his experience in American politics and public policy, his work in international human rights, and his journey through evangelical, Pentecostal, Anglican and sacramental traditions.

This conversation explores:

• Why Christians continually try to put God in a box
• Whether humanity must be diminished in order to explain our need for Jesus
• Original sin, generational trauma and the image of God
• How colonialism shaped the Western church
• Why Christians need the perspectives of the global church
• Finding glimpses of Jesus in other cultures, traditions and art
• Christian nationalism, violence and the teachings of Jesus
• Why the Good Samaritan reveals the true meaning of justice
• The importance of curiosity, humility and becoming a learner
• Why following Jesus may require us to challenge the status quo

Father Joash describes the justice of Jesus as radically inclusive, holistic, costly and nonviolent. This is an honest and challenging conversation about what happens when faith stops protecting power and begins standing beside people who have been pushed to the margins.

The Justice of Jesus is available everywhere books are sold.

Follow Father Joash Thomas on Instagram:
@joashpthomas

Follow Jason Becker:
@_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to the sponsors who help make these conversations possible:

Floorzz
[www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control
[www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone who is willing to wrestle with what following Jesus looks like in today’s world.

What does the justice of Jesus mean to you?

#FatherJoashThomas #TheJusticeOfJesus #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndJustice #JesusAndJustice #ChristianDeconstruction #ProgressiveChristianity #ChristianNationalism #FaithPodcast #GlobalChurch #Nonviolence #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

Some conversations don't end with answers.They end with better questions.

In this episode of What The Hell Do I Know with JB, I sit down with Joe Smith for one of the most thoughtful conversations we've had about faith, church, deconstruction, inclusion, politics, and what it actually means to follow Jesus.

We talk about church hurt, LGBTQ+ inclusion, spiritual trauma, fundamentalism, certainty, grace, and why so many people aren't rejecting Jesus—they're rejecting harmful versions of Christianity.

Whether you agree with everything we discuss or not, my hope is simple:

Ask better questions.

Because sometimes the deepest faith isn't found in certainty. Sometimes it's found in the courage to wrestle honestly.

This isn't a debate.

It's an honest conversation between two people trying to pursue Jesus while making room for difficult questions.

If this episode challenged you, encouraged you, or simply made you think, I'd love to hear your perspective in the comments. Whether you agree or disagree, let's model the kind of conversation we wish existed more often.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Deconstruction vs. abandoning faith

• Church hurt and spiritual trauma

• LGBTQ+ inclusion in the church

• Politics and American Christianity

• Why certainty can become dangerous

• The tension between grace and truth

• Loving people without conditions

• Following Jesus beyond religious tribalism

CONNECT WITH JOE SMITH

Instagram
@therealjoe.smith

Reasoned Reality Project

Slippery Slope Shop
[https://www.slipperslope.shop](https://www.slipperslope.shop)

CONNECT WITH JASON BECKER

Instagram
@_jason_becker

Website
[https://www.vintagewisdom.org](https://www.vintagewisdom.org)

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS

Floorzz
Luxury Flooring Done Right
[https://www.floorzz.com](https://www.floorzz.com)

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Protecting Homes Across the Emerald Coast
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If you enjoy conversations that explore faith, culture, leadership, and life without pretending to have all the answers...

👍 Like this video

💬 Leave a comment

📺 Subscribe for more conversations every week.

#JoeSmith #JasonBecker #Faith #Jesus #Christianity #Deconstruction #ChurchHurt #FaithAndCulture #SpiritualGrowth #Podcast #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #VintageWisdom

What happens when questioning your faith actually brings you closer to Jesus?

In Episode 92 of "What the Hell Do I Know with JB", I sit down with author, speaker, comedian, and content creator April Ajoy (@aprilajoy) for one of the most thoughtful conversations we've had on the podcast.

April grew up immersed in evangelical culture before beginning a long journey of questioning Christian nationalism, politics, church culture, and the beliefs she inherited. But contrary to what many assume, her journey wasn't away from Jesus—it was because of Jesus. Together we talk honestly about grief, deconstruction, LGBTQ relationships, church hurt, privilege, politics, and what it means to love people well while holding onto faith.

This isn't a debate.

It's two people asking difficult questions with humility and respect.

Whether you agree with April (or JB), disagree with her, or find yourself somewhere in the middle, I hope this conversation challenges you to think more deeply and love people more generously.

Topics include:

• Christian Nationalism explained
• Deconstruction and rebuilding faith
• Church hurt and religious trauma
• LGBTQ conversations inside the church
• Politics and Christianity
• Learning to hold convictions with humility
• Why asking questions doesn't have to destroy faith
• What Jesus looks like through a different lens

April is the bestselling author of "Star Spangled Jesus", available wherever books are sold.

📚 Pick up "Star Spangled Jesus" today.

Follow April:
Instagram: @aprilajoy

Follow me:
Instagram: @_jason_becker

Website:
[www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

A huge thank you to our sponsors for making these conversations possible:

🏡 Floorzz
[www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

🛡️ TruNorth Pest Control
[www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

If this episode challenged you, encouraged you, or simply made you think, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone willing to have honest conversations.

#AprilAjoy #ChristianNationalism #Deconstruction #Faith #Jesus #Church #Politics #Podcast #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Christianity #ChurchHurt #ReligiousTrauma #FaithJourney

Welcome to **Part 3 of the Summer Smash Up**—a collection of four of my favorite conversations from this season of **What The Hell Do I Know with JB**.

If you're new here, this is the perfect place to jump in.

This episode brings together four incredible guests who aren't afraid to ask difficult questions, challenge assumptions, and remind us that truth is often found in honest conversation—not easy answers.

🔥 **Ellie Unbound** (@ellieunbound) shares her journey through deconstruction after growing up in the megachurch world and why asking hard questions doesn't have to mean abandoning faith.

❤️ **Quinn Padilla** (@itsquinnpadilla), therapist and abuse survivor, courageously explains the cycle of abuse, trauma bonds, and what healing can actually look like for survivors.

💪 **Nathaniel Blackburn** (@nathanielwblackburn), founder of **TruNorth Retreats** and former MTV *Real World* cast member, talks about why vulnerability isn't weakness—it's where real transformation begins.

📖 **Zack Lambert** (@zackwlambert), bestselling author of *Better Ways to Read the Bible* and Senior Pastor of Restore Austin, shares why context matters, why grace matters, and how reading Scripture differently can deepen—not diminish—your faith.

These conversations don't ask you to agree with every opinion.

They ask you to think.

To listen.

To have empathy.

And maybe...to grow.

Whether you've been in church your whole life, walked away from faith, experienced church hurt, survived abuse, or you're simply searching for honest conversations that matter, this episode is for you.

👇 I'd love to hear from you.

**Which conversation impacted you the most?**

Leave a comment and join the discussion.

---

### Connect with our guests

Ellie Unbound
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellieunbound

Quinn Padilla
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsquinnpadilla

Nathaniel Blackburn
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nathanielwblackburn

Zack Lambert
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zackwlambert

---

### Connect with JB

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_jason_becker

Website: https://www.vintagewisdom.org

---

### Huge Thanks To Our Sponsors

🏡 **Floorzz**
https://www.floorzz.com

Whether you're building your dream home or remodeling your current one, Floorzz has you covered with exceptional flooring and customer service.

🐜 **TruNorth Pest Control**
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Keeping homes across Florida and Georgia pest-free with industry-leading service. Tell them JB sent you!

---

👍 If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe, and Share. Every share helps these conversations reach someone who may need them.

Thanks for being part of the journey.

—JB
#WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Podcast #Faith #Deconstruction #ChurchHurt #MentalHealth #Healing #TraumaRecovery #Leadership #NathanielBlackburn #EllieUnbound #QuinnPadilla #ZackLambert #BetterWaysToReadTheBible

Welcome to Episode 90 of What The Hell Do I Know with JB!

☀️ Summer Smashup Part 2 is here.

If you're new to the show, this is one of the best places to start.
This special episode brings together some of the most powerful, emotional, and thought-provoking conversations we've had this year. Four incredible guests. Four completely different stories. One common thread...real people having honest conversations.

In this episode you'll hear:

🎙️ Jim Pierce sharing his heartbreaking story of childhood abuse, healing, forgiveness, and why getting help can change everything.

🎙️ Valentina Piloneita (@leerparacrecersrb) discussing immigration, education, reading, and why every child deserves hope regardless of where they were born.

🎙️ Marla Taviano (@marlataviano) challenging long-held assumptions about faith, love, heaven, and what it really means to love your neighbor.

🎙️ Shawn Vinson (@svinson9999) opening up about addiction, recovery, fatherhood, and the moment that completely changed his life.

These conversations don't all agree with one another—and that's exactly the point.
At What The Hell Do I Know, we believe growth happens when we're willing to listen before we judge.
If this episode makes you think, laugh, wrestle with something, or gives you hope...

👍 Like the video
💬 Leave a comment
🔔 Subscribe for more honest conversations every week.

Follow
Jason Becker
📸 Instagram: @_jason_becker
🌐 Website:
https://www.vintagewisdom.org

Guests
📚 Valentina Piloneita
Instagram: @leerparacrecersrb
✍️ Marla Taviano
Instagram: @marlataviano
💪 Shawn Vinson
Instagram: @svinson9999

Huge Thanks To Our Sponsors
🏠 Floorzz
https://www.floorzz.com
Whether you're remodeling your home or building your dream house, Floorzz has you covered.

🐜 TruNorth Pest Control
https://www.trunorthpest.com
Protecting homes and businesses throughout Florida and Georgia with world-class pest control.\

Thank you for supporting the sponsors that make this podcast possible.

Watch the entire What The Hell Do I Know Podcast Playlist for more conversations that challenge perspectives, inspire growth, and remind us that none of us have it all figured out.

#WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Podcast #SummerSmashup #Faith #Recovery #AddictionRecovery #Immigration #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #Healing #ChristianPodcast #Storytelling #Hope

☀️ SUMMER SMASH-UP | PART 1 OF 3 ☀️
I'm taking a little summer break, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. So I dug through some of the most powerful, thought-provoking, and meaningful conversations from Season 3 and put together this Summer Smash-Up series.

In Part 1, you'll hear four unforgettable moments:
🎙️ Meaghan Hampton (@soulcareforfamilies) on parenting, grace, discipline, and why fear-based parenting often misses the mark.
🎙️ Jason Becker (me) (@_jason_becker) reflecting on 25 years of marriage, the lessons learned through counseling, raising kids, faith, and the hard work that builds a lasting relationship.
🎙️ Doug Pagitt (@dougpagitt) discussing politics, faith, immigration, empathy, and what it means to truly see the humanity in people who think differently than we do.
🎙️ Dr. Brandon Orr (former Director of Sports Psychology for the University of Missouri Wrestling Program and attached to the 7th Special Forces Group Green Berets) sharing elite performance psychology, mental toughness, discipline, and one of the most powerful life lessons I've heard all year.

This episode is about:
✅ Marriage
✅ Parenting
✅ Faith
✅ Leadership
✅ Mental Toughness
✅ Grace
✅ Personal Growth
✅ Becoming a Better Human

Whether you're on vacation, driving to work, sitting at the beach, or just looking for something meaningful to listen to, I hope these conversations challenge and encourage you.
Buckle up. This is Part 1 of the Summer Smash-Up.

Special Thanks To Our Sponsors
🏠 Floorzz.com
Whether you're building, remodeling, or upgrading your home, the team at Floorzz can help with flooring, design, and project planning anywhere in the continental United States. Visit Floorzz.com.
🛡️ True North Pest Control
Serving the Emerald Coast, Central Florida, and Georgia. From ants and spiders to full-service pest prevention, True North Pest Control has you covered. Visit TrueNorthPest.com.

#SummerSmashUp
#WhatTheHellDoIKnow
#JasonBecker
#Marriage
#Parenting
#Faith
#Leadership
#MentalToughness
#PersonalGrowth
#Podcast
#MarriageAdvice
#ParentingTips
#ChristianPodcast
#SelfImprovement
#BrandonOrr
#DougPagitt
#MeaghanHampton

Episode 88 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB* welcomes pastor, author, and thought leader **Zack Lambert**, founder and lead pastor of Restore Austin.

Zack joins Jason Becker for a powerful and honest conversation about faith, church culture, biblical interpretation, inclusion, doubt, and what it means to follow Jesus in today's world.

Drawing from his book *Better Ways to Read the Bible: Transforming a Weapon of Harm into a Tool of Healing*, Zack shares why so many people are walking away from the church, how harmful interpretations of scripture have impacted generations, and why asking difficult questions may actually strengthen faith rather than destroy it.

Together, Jason and Zack discuss:

• Why millions of Americans have stopped reading the Bible
• Church growth, Christian nationalism, and the future of faith communities
• LGBTQ+ inclusion and what scripture actually says
• Women in leadership and the history of patriarchy in the church
• Why curiosity, doubt, and questioning should be welcomed
• How Jesus consistently expanded the circle of belonging
• The difference between religion that harms and faith that heals
• Raising kids who can think critically about faith
• Finding safe spaces to ask difficult spiritual questions

Whether you're deeply religious, spiritually curious, deconstructing your faith, or simply searching for a better understanding of scripture, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope.

📖 Learn more about Zack Lambert:
https://www.restoreaustin.org

📸 Follow Zack:
@zackwlambert

🌐 Visit Jason Becker:
https://www.vintagewisdom.org

📸 Follow Jason:
@_jason_becker

Special thanks to our sponsors:

🏠 Floorzz
Premium flooring solutions for homes and businesses.

🧭 TruNorth
Helping individuals and organizations navigate growth, leadership, and purpose.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little more hope, curiosity, and grace in their journey.

#WhatTheHellDoIKnowWithJB
#ZackLambert
#JasonBecker
#WhatTheHellDoIKnowWithJB
#BetterWaysToReadTheBible
#ProgressiveChristianity
#FaithDeconstruction
#BibleStudy
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#Jesus
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#RestoreAustin
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