Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction

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This week on Dopey! Heart Attack Doug returns feeling like death, so naturally I make him come over and record. We discuss a sandwich with too much Swiss, the most miserable deli on Long Island, the wreckage of my garage, and my dependence on Tums and papaya enzymes. Then things get real about friendship, fear, and the gift of desperation—finding a spiritual solution when everything feels fucked. Plus! Is Doug too sick to go to meetings but healthy enough to do the podcast? Join us on Patreon for his full health update and the Doug Death Pool. Stay strong, Dopey Nation, and fucking toodles for Chris!

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This week on the Dopey Total Replay! A bona fide Dopey classic: THE GAY CRUISE with Todd R. My friend Todd joins me and Chris for a story about drinking, opiates, falling five decks off a cruise ship, and getting kicked off while his friends continue their vacation.

But First we go over Hey Bulldog! And go over the emotional comments from Dopey Episode 50.

Plus! Being high on the Martha Stewart Show, reconnecting with an old boyfriend who turns out to have been sober the entire time, making up a sponsor, and getting through early recovery with Cool Ranch Doritos, Diet Coke, and I Love Lucy. We also get a completely insane listener airplane story, Chris takes the controls of a plane, and we argue about sharing for laughs at AA. All that, the origins of the Dopey theme song, your comments, and much, much, much more on a brand new version of a classic dose of Dopey!

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Summary:

This week on Dopey! Benjamin Tod of Lost Dog Street Band brings a deeply honest story of childhood trauma, crust punk, freight trains, heroin, methamphetamine, and the slow work of building a different life.

Growing up outside Nashville, Benjamin started drinking as a kid and using hard drugs in his early teens. Drawn to the freedom of traveling musicians, he found a world of street performances, railroad journeys, makeshift camps, and friendships forged under bridges. He takes us inside that life: getting strung out in one city and kicking in the next, withdrawing while waiting for sugar-beet harvest work, and trying to perform through an IV-meth-fueled panic attack while opening for the Devil Makes Three.

Benjamin also gets into what’s happening now—feeling spiritually unsettled, confronting old pain, and wanting to become a better husband and father. He talks about the collapse of his marriage to Ashley, recording I Will Rise in the middle of his darkest period, and the sick puppy named Rita who became a symbol of starting over. On thirteen acres in Kentucky, he began clearing land, rebuilding trust, and making a home. Getting off the needle came first; letting go of alcohol took years longer.

PLUS! Punk rock as folk music, the Clash, outlaw country, faith without rigid dogma, shame without self-destruction, and a round of This or That. Before the interview: a listener writes about dabs and research chemicals, Eric remembers a friend’s disastrous gasoline-bong idea, and Matt Wiedemeyer Carroll celebrates three years sober. Closing with Benjamin’s “Using Again” and an early banjo recording from Jake in West Virginia.

All that and MUCH MORE on Brand new super anarchist crusty, punk rock, honky tonk episode of that good old Dopey Show!

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Summary

This week on Dopey Greatest Hits! We revisit Jamie Lee Curtis’s first appearance on Dopey, recorded in 2019 with Dave in his attic, a microphone in one hand, and a Bluetooth speaker in the other.

It began outside Katz’s Deli, where Dave tried to casually intercept Jamie and pitch the show. Her response: “I’m a dope fiend.” His response: “Me too.” What followed was an email misunderstanding, years of persistence, and a conversation about why Jamie initially wanted nothing to do with a comedy podcast about addiction—and how Chris’s death changed her understanding of the show.

Jamie and Dave talk about opioid addiction, secrecy, the vulnerability of being publicly sober, and finding connection through other people’s honesty. Dave remembers Chris, explains why showing the fun in recovery matters, and gets to tell Jamie what her movies and children’s books have meant to his family.

PLUS! A medical student writes about how Chris is still helping people he never met, JD responds to criticism of his workplace drug discovery, and Dave ranks his morning-text correspondents. Listener letters explore sex addiction, the difference between sponsorship and life advice, and an EMDR experience that helped one woman rethink sexual pressure in her marriage. Dave also explains why he stopped EMDR—for now.

All that and MUCH MORE on a super star studded - Dopey's Greatest Hits!

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Summary:

This week on Dopey Wednesday! Photographer Sean Murphy, author of My Friend Weezer, brings an epic story of rock ’n’ roll, alcoholism, meth addiction, and finally finding a recovery that stuck.

Sean takes us from Florida’s early rave scene to art school in Boston, San Francisco’s rock ’n’ roll underground, and a photography career shooting some of the biggest bands in the world. He photographs the Beastie Boys while falling off the wagon, nearly loses the camera containing their pictures, drives Shane MacGowan over the hills of San Francisco in a barely functioning Volkswagen, and finds himself living above a gay porn studio with a seemingly endless supply of meth downstairs.

In Los Angeles, the jobs get bigger while the consequences get worse: a relapse in Slayer’s limo ends in a blackout DUI near his AA meeting, police surround his truck outside MADtv, and drugs and alcohol tear through his marriage, parenting, and professional life. Through it all, his friendship with Weezer becomes one of the lasting bright spots.

But the heart of Sean’s story is what finally changed. After years of meetings, treatment, and going back out, a persistent biker sponsor and an Irish addict named Mike help him find a way through the steps. At a chaotic sober house called Plan C—complete with a horse, chickens, costumes, and a collection of unbelievable characters—Sean discovers purpose in helping other people. Today, he hosts a recovery meeting at his photography studio and describes a sober life far beyond anything he knew to ask for.

PLUS! Nat Kingsley gives a fellow rehab patient his debit card and PIN in exchange for a promised tennis ball full of heroin. Dave remembers his own rehab tennis-ball disaster, celebrates a Dopey Nation anniversary, and reads reactions to Keith’s episode, the Trey controversy, and the sound complaint that finally gets resolved.

All that and MUCH, MUCH MORE! on a very, very girthy new Wednesday Dose of that good old Dopey Show!

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Summary

This week on Dopey Tuesday! Cormac and Selby return for a Reddit Roundup teaser featuring flaming drum kits, obsessive hobbies, comfort television, and another questionable Patreon sales pitch from Dave.

Cormac reports back from opening for a masked surf-rock band that sets its drums on fire, then explains how music and strength training give his obsessive energy somewhere productive to go. Selby prefers to wait for the urge to exercise to pass. Meanwhile, Dave has found comfort in peanut butter ice cream and another trip through The Sopranos, kicking off an argument about Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and which season of The Wire deserves the crown.

PLUS! A DopeyCon caption contest threatens to reveal what Dave was actually thinking, Selby promises behind-the-scenes dirt, and Dave revisits calling non-patrons “cheapos.” Can you spare 16 cents a day? Should recovery meeting links be shared? And could your sob story win you a gifted Patreon membership?

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Summary

This week on Dopey Total Replay! It’s the infamous 50th episode: Dave Gives Up, Chris Takes Over! Dave tries to manufacture a feud with That Sober Guy, Chris prepares to become “Dr. Chris,” and the boys celebrate their milestone by arguing about almost everything.

Chris tells the story of working in a prestigious Boston hospital while secretly shooting heroin and cocaine—and financing his habit by stealing his mother’s jewelry. After getting banned from his parents’ building, he gets the jeweler himself to drive him back for another attempt, then disappears to Harlem on a crack binge while his girlfriend waits to pick him up from work. His brother and sister eventually retrieve him and bring him to detox, setting him on the path to Mountainside, where he meets Dave.

PLUS! Chris finds the perfect addiction metaphor in The Wrestler, Dave and Chris revisit their favorite early Dopey moments, a debate over stolen bracelets becomes an argument about brioche French toast, and Chris pushes Dave to the breaking point with his relentless search for Flesh-n-Bone. Expired hand warmers, disastrous music trivia, mushrooms in a red velvet taxi, and a negotiation over whether Chris will EVER say “Toodles.”

In the new introduction, Dave revisits classic Dopey beefs, wonders what a spiritual solution actually looks like, and reads listener comments questioning his ability to beat up Ezra. All that and MUCH, MUCH, MUCH MORE on a classic dose of good old, old timey Dopey!

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This week on Dopey! My trainer Joe Belmonte comes over, and what starts with complaints about Howie’s camera angles and Joe’s horrible taste in music turns into an incredibly moving story of drugs, addiction, grief, and recovery.

Growing up on Long Island, Joe went from Catholic school, ecstasy at Webster Hall, and cocaine-fueled construction shifts to a massive blues habit with his girlfriend. Together, they stole and sold electronics across Long Island to support a pill habit that Joe says reached $1,500–$2,000 a day. Then came heroin, needles, speedballs, homelessness, and a relationship built around loving each other and getting high.

After their first trip to treatment, they returned home and used together again. Both overdosed. Joe woke up days later in the hospital, unable to walk, and learned that his pregnant girlfriend had died. He shares the devastating aftermath, learning to accept help, rebuilding in Florida, relapsing after nearly three years, and eventually finding his way back to recovery.

Today, Joe is a father, a business owner, and the guy responsible for listening to me complain through every fucking workout. We talk about anger, music, surviving grief, and why I have absolutely no desire to overcome a squat rack. Plus! Mandy’s acid trip at a Tool concert takes an unwanted turn, Harold remembers shooting meth while dope sick in Anchorage, the Betty episode divides Dopey Nation, and we launch a new Dopey Fitness Challenge!

All that and much more on a brand-new fitness intensive episode of Dopey that Good Old Dopey Show!

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This week on Dopey’s Greatest Hits! Long Island recovery legend Smiling Joe takes us through four decades of drugs, crime, chaos, and finding a way out. From drinking and sniffing glue as a kid in Queens to taking acid on the roof of JFK Airport, shooting heroin, stealing diamond rings, and plotting a $30 million gold theft on Wall Street—Joe’s story is absolutely fucking unbelievable.

We hear about getting arrested over a stolen girdle, kicking heroin in jail, surviving Rikers Island, and dating a mob-connected man’s daughter. Her father first chased Joe with a gun, then became his friend—and later decided against bringing Joe on a ride that ended with the man being killed. Somehow, Joe also went from Rikers to St. John’s University, became an A student, and reinvented himself as Disco Joe before heroin and cocaine took over again.

But the heart of this episode is how “Methadone Joe” became Smiling Joe. After years of rehabs, relentless using, and going to meetings high, Joe finally found a recovery he could live in. We talk about powerlessness, surrender, borrowing a loving God, and replacing the feeling in the needle with connection, service, and real love. Plus, Dave shares how Joe helped him feel welcome in recovery after Chris died.

PLUS! Austin’s Rainbow Gathering voicemail involves boofing LSD, a blackout, and a search for his missing pants. Listener reactions to John Joseph, a Dopey studio update, and much more!

All that and more on the Dopey Smiling Joe Greatest Hits Episode!

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This week on Dopey! Interventionist Keith Fierman brings a lifetime of unbelievable drug stories, rock-and-roll adventures, and hard-earned recovery. From taking acid with Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh, and Owsley Stanley to secretly flying from Alabama to New York, stuffing his socks with heroin, and getting home like he’d spent the day at work—Keith lived two very different lives. And when he finally asked for help, he spent five days wandering a treatment center before staff admitted they hadn’t actually checked him in.

Behind the backstage passes is a powerful story of childhood abuse, finding safety in heroin, and fighting to build a different life. Keith talks about relentless cravings in early sobriety, telling God “fuck you,” and the bowling trip that finally gave him a little peace. Plus, a runaway doctor demanding a naked woman on a horse, Keith Richards, an unexpected meeting with Ringo Starr in France, and why families shouldn’t have to wait for someone to hit bottom.

PLUS! JD D. Hart finds a bag of drugs at work and turns it in, listener comments on gambling and process addictions, and Dave and Keith get into the ongoing saga of getting Trey Anastasio on Dopey. Is Dopey too dark—or is finding laughter and connection in the darkness exactly the point?

All that and much more on this old school dose of brand new Dopey!

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This week on Dopey Tuesday! Ray returns, the headphones suck, and Dave’s attempt to sell Patreon immediately backfires when Ray reveals he pays two dollars a month and still thinks there are too many ads.

We revisit Ben’s unforgettable Snickers story, autographed candy bars, and the mechanics of a pierced penis before Alan joins us for his official DopeyCon review. Naturally, this becomes an argument about whether he threw away Dave’s framed posters, why photographs of Canadian tunnels get wall space, and why Dave still doesn’t know how to end a show. Plus: Ray’s suspiciously heartfelt stagecraft, Tony O’Neill, fantasy basketball draft disasters, diabolical Seymour, and gambling apps tempting Ray for all the wrong reasons.

THEN! Dave reveals that his Thursday started with questioning by three LAPD detectives and ended at Gary Dell’Abate’s vinyl party. For that story, the Heart Attack Doug comments, and the rest of the stories, join us on Patreon!

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This week on Dopey Total Replay! Dave and Chris return with a classic early episode featuring a cigarette dispute outside Katz’s, a dope-sick heroin run in a ridiculous wig, and a police officer who ate confiscated weed brownies and called 911 because he thought he was dead.

Dave loses his shit when Ezra—the neighborhood character he’s supplied with countless cigarettes—refuses to run to the store for him. There are threats, wounded pride, and an incredibly petty half-cigarette power move. Chris attempts to broker peace.

Then listener Tracy delivers an incredible story about buying heroin in a terrible black wig, getting pulled over with the drugs in the glove compartment, and a driver who decides this is the perfect moment to flirt with the cop. Plus, Chris remembers drinking with people on the street in Boston, surviving on stolen beef jerky and tallboys, and his family dog stealing somebody’s sandwich.

We also get into how Dave and Chris met at Mountainside, how their friendship changed in recovery, Bob Marley–induced weed cravings, eighteen hours of “Natural Mystic,” and the difference between missing getting high and being able to go back.

PLUS! In a new introduction, Dave remembers Bobby R., a beloved member of his recovery community, launches the Dopey Worst Recovery Texts Contest, reads your comments, and explains why this episode remains one of his favorites.

All that and More on a brand new version of a super classic old episode of that good old dopey show,

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This week on Dopey! Betty Guadagno brings a completely fucking staggering story of drugs, family trauma, sex work, and finding recovery after an overdose that she describes as a trip to the other side. Raised by drug-addicted, hustling parents who stole Christmas presents and fled to Las Vegas, Betty discovered meth at fifteen—and things only got crazier from there.

Betty opens up about losing both parents to suicide, moving back to New York to retrace their love story, selling drugs behind the bar, and turning to sex work to pay the rent. We get into heroin, crack, methadone, a $20,000 marriage, getting arrested during the Hurricane Sandy blackout, and a meth relapse that sent her into a world of paranoia, imagined bugs, and exploiting other women to support her addiction.

Then comes the bathroom-floor overdose, the life review, and the spiritual experience Betty believes changed everything. We talk about hearing her father’s voice, drug dealers finding Jesus, following a stranger on the J train to a meeting, and the woman whose hug finally helped her surrender. Plus: tiny men mowing her brain out of heroin withdrawal, Gabby Bernstein, A Course in Miracles, UFOs, and Dave trying to get a sign from his mother.

PLUS! Squirrel’s spectacular GHB-and-ketamine mistaken-identity voicemail, sex addiction, kratom and 7-OH, a listener’s 22-day meth run, DopeyCon feedback, and the ongoing debate over recording at Alan’s apartment versus a fancy studio.

All that and much more on a deeply dark, strangely funny, and very spiritual new episode of that good old Dopey show!

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This week on Dopey’s Greatest Hits! Cro-Mags frontman, author, and hardcore legend John Joseph returns in his unforgettable first appearance on the show. From a brutal childhood in foster care to surviving on the streets of New York, John brings an avalanche of insane Dopey: stealing his mother’s Valium, running heroin, selling fake acid outside Madison Square Garden, getting chased with a hunting knife on his first real acid trip, dealing drugs in the Navy, and going AWOL—with Henry Rollins helping hide him along the way.

Then things get even crazier: freebasing, robbing drug dealers, a crack-fueled run through Los Angeles, and a flight back to New York where John is snorting cocaine while lecturing the other passengers about eating meat. Plus, evading the police at JFK, hitting bottom in Alphabet City, and finding a way back through Hare Krishna, hardcore music, service, and eventually Ironman triathlons.

We also get into Bad Brains, positive mental attitude, childhood trauma, forgiveness, and building a life you actually want to wake up for. PLUS! Dave reads listener comments about Mrs. Robinson, celebrates a listener’s nine months off kratom, remembers his early COVID experience, and wonders whether he was trying to sound tough when he first interviewed John. All that and much more on this brand new version of this classic episode of Dopey!

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This week on Dopey! LJ Ruggiero, host of Nothing’s Off the Table and son of New York television personality Rosanna Scotto, returns for a brutally honest conversation about compulsive gambling. At 15, LJ turned $200 into $9,000 at a blackjack table and decided he’d found his future. What followed was stolen family jewelry, drugs, treatment, an extraordinary ticket business, and a gambling habit that could swallow almost any amount of money.

LJ describes going from $22 in his checking account to a $380,000 payday selling Coachella artist passes, building a business that eventually earned him more than a million dollars a year, and losing staggering amounts in casinos and with bookies. One Vegas trip saw him turn $10,000 into roughly $500,000—then lose all of it and another $100,000 before leaving.

Even after stopping drugs and alcohol, the gambling continued. LJ bet from the hospital the night his son was born, borrowed money when his wife couldn’t buy diapers, and found himself about a million dollars in debt. A confrontation with an old friend finally broke through the lies, leading him into Gamblers Anonymous, financial accountability, and a long repayment plan.

We also get into the difference between drug recovery and rebuilding a relationship with money, casino perks, family bailouts, shame, and why LJ regrets trying to police other people’s sobriety.

PLUS! Rachel Angel’s DopeyCon theme-song entry, Dave’s Step Ten intentions, Margaret Cho listener comments, and a wild voicemail about vodka at Red Lobster, a smashed mailbox, a $200 payoff, driving on a sparking rim, and hitchhiking to Newburgh after a DWI. Stay strong Dopey Nation and toodles for Chris!

Plus way way more on a new wednesday episode of that old dopey show!

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This week on the Tuesday teaser! Heart Attack Doug returns, convinced he’s indestructible despite mounting evidence to the contrary. A $10,000 landscaping quote inspires two weeks of backyard punishment, followed by another frightening hospital trip, morphine, and an argument about whether Dave is actually his sponsor.

Meanwhile, Dave remembers his summer working on New York’s World Yacht, buying a Fender Rhodes for $300, eventually selling it for heroin, and the lingering humiliation of coworkers calling him Screech. PLUS! Cormac was robbed, Cece compliments Linda and demolishes Dave, Doug claims spiritual superiority, and Dave admits that joking about inheriting Doug’s guitar turned into a sincere prayer that his friend wouldn’t die.

What keeps Doug pushing himself to the edge—and will he ever listen? The conversation continues on Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/dopeypodcast.

Stay strong Dopey Nation and toodles for Chris!

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This week on Dopey Total Replay! Dave goes back to classic Dopey 48 with Chris and longtime friend, bandmate, and musical collaborator John. Chris has returned from a ten-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat, and Dave has recruited John to become Dopey’s answer to Fred Norris. What follows is a battle between spiritual enlightenment and a soundboard that won’t shut the fuck up.

Chris describes arriving to a flooded, moldy tent, waking up at four in the morning, sitting through hours of painful meditation, and spending part of the third day planning a joke for when he’s finally allowed to speak. He also gets brutally honest about the intense cocaine cravings that surfaced during the retreat—and imagining he could leave, get high, and come home pretending he’d been meditating the whole time. Meanwhile, Dave worries about Chris promoting Dopey on Reddit’s opiate forum, where drug pictures have started following him into his dreams and waking thoughts.

The guys get into Buddhism, craving, aversion, recovery, and the absurdity of craving a life without cravings. Alex calls in, Chris’s cryptic sponsor prank gets exposed, and a listener letter sparks a conversation about why insane drug stories can help people find recovery—and why being the “best degenerate” eventually stops being enough.

PLUS! In the new opening, Dave gives John overdue credit for his enormous musical contribution to Dopey, recounts a family trip to Kingston and a $30 beard-oil purchase, and plays Michael’s wild Fourth of July heroin story from the Lower East Side in 1995. Bottle rockets, a shotgun, a forced naked strip search, and a dealer who warmly invites him to come back anytime!

All that, terrible freestyle rapping, Dopey tattoos, secret recovery wizards, Sublime, Pusha T, vaping, rehab success-rate bullshit, Dave panicking over publishing an episode while waiting tables, Anthony from the Beach comments, and love for the people who helped make DopeyCon happen. Stay strong Dopey Nation and toodles for Chris!

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Summary:

This week on Dopey! It’s DopeyCon 7—the Game Show Edition! Dopey Nation gathers for a night of ridiculous games, filthy comedy, music, remembrance, and recovery. Hank Azaria, Hamilton Morris, James Frey, John Joseph, Zac Clark, Alexis Haines, Rachel Slocum, Abby Fickley, Janine Coulter, Gabby Egan, and more join the madness as Dave attempts to hold together the first-ever Dopey Feud.

Plus, Anthony Varela tells a catastrophically inappropriate Cialis-at-a-wake story, Tony O’Neill reads about heroin, the Brian Jonestown Massacre, and a sword-wielding Anton Newcombe, and Dave presents his dad with the Dopey Medal of Freedom—while officially reducing his responsibility for Dave’s heroin addiction to seven percent. Linda delivers a beautiful tribute to the community and the people we’ve lost, Zac speaks about keeping recovery’s door open, and Rachel Angel and Trinity perform “Mud Pies.”

Before the festivities: a listener empties a rich guy’s entire house while he’s fishing in Alaska, Odell’s dope-sick road trip ends with an ant attack and a pants-free meeting with a Detroit dealer, and Montana sends a powerful recovery update from prison. All that, construction noise, Stashword, Artie Lange, and much more on a chaotic, heartfelt, thoroughly Dopey celebration.

Live-event audio is rough in places, as Dave explains before the recording.

ALL THAT AND MORE ON OUR 7th LIVE DOPEYCON!!!!

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This week on Dopey’s Greatest Hits! Mrs. Robinson brings a life story packed with cocaine, Quaaludes, OxyContin, porn, and recovery. A former teacher and advertising executive who entered adult entertainment at 50, she tells Dave how a conversation at a COVID-era bonfire—and her son telling her to “go get the bag”—helped launch an entirely unexpected career.

Then comes the serious Dopey: drinking at 11, taking her father’s Quaaludes, growing up around violence and pounds of cocaine in Pittsburgh, and falling in love with prescription opioids while treating endometriosis. She describes teaching on ecstasy, getting caught snorting OxyContin off her classroom desk, and believing she was sober because she wasn’t drinking—even while she was using pills and cocaine.

Mrs. Robinson also shares how a woman she sponsored saved her life during a suicide attempt, what happened when she attacked her psychiatrist in treatment, and the moment she finally surrendered and began building lasting recovery. Plus, her ex-husband’s devastating relapse, raising children through addiction and mental health struggles, using her OnlyFans income to help pay for family treatment, and dealing with judgment from people in recovery.

PLUS! Axel calls in with a wild South Florida voicemail involving Valium, stolen Abercrombie clothes, pills, police digging up a marijuana plant, allegedly being framed for school bomb threats, and getting sent to Argentina. All that, recovery, family, freedom, explicit adult-industry shop talk, and much more on Dopey!

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Episode summary

This week on Dopey Wednesday, the incredible Margaret Cho returns for a live conversation with Dave, hosted by our friends at Workit Health! Margaret gets brutally honest about weed, opiates, benzos, and the kratom habit that left her feeling like she was constantly kicking. We hear about two seizures in one Thanksgiving, another that sent her face-first into boiling fondue, an overdose in Amsterdam, and the horrifying moment a doctor who was also a fan told her she was dying.

But this episode is also about what came next: recovery, meditation, community, and Margaret’s beautifully simple interpretation of the Third Step—“fuck it.” Dave and Margaret discuss kratom, 7-OH, kava, harm reduction, recovery in the public eye, drug dreams, and finding ways to handle disappointment without getting high. Plus, making music with Jane Wiedlin and why Margaret says sobriety is more fun than drinking and using ever were.

PLUS! A listener gets busted sneaking kratom in rehab, a law student takes 18 kratom capsules before trial practice and lands a clerkship, Dave navigates the post-DopeyCon malaise, Dopey Nation weighs in on Justin Crompier, and Margaret takes us out with “Grippy Sock Vacation.” All that and much more on a brand-new episode of that good ol' Dopey Show!

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