The Midlife Feast

When Deb Benfield joined me last December, so many listeners told me they had never heard the term internalized ageism. And once they had, they couldn't unsee it. So I invited Deb back to go deeper.

Deb and I talk about how the stories we absorbed about aging (hello, Mrs. Roper's muumuu) shape how we feel about our own changing bodies in perimenopause and menopause. We get into the aging hierarchy and how it piles on top of the body hierarchy, why menopause weight gain gets read as "letting yourself go," and why so many pro-aging influencers still look like the same old ideal, just with silver hair.

We also talk about what helps: moving your body in ways you enjoy, rest, connection, and making health choices from your values instead of from fear. And Deb offers a beautiful reframe on independence that makes room for interdependence and asking for help.

If this conversation stirs something up for you, that's a good sign. Noticing the default programming is where change starts.

CONNECT WITH DEB
Website: https://www.debrabenfield.com
Unapologetic Aging (Deb's book): https://www.debrabenfield.com/book
Instagram: @agingbodyliberation

JOIN ME
Join Deb and me live in the Midlife Feast Community on November 18 for a deeper conversation about internalized ageism and longevity culture. The recording will be available to watch anytime in The Feaster Library.
Join us here:https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/themidlifefeastcommunity
Book a connection call with me: https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

FREE SUPPORT
Free Guide - Your Doctor Said Lose Weight - Now What? https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/now-what
RELATED EPISODES
Episode 173 How To Age Without Apology with Deb Benfield RDN
Episode 97 The Impact of Ageism on Body Image in Midlife with Deb Benfield, MEd, RDN

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

🖥️ Join me on November 22nd for a free masterclass: How to Eat for Your Health in Menopause without letting the scale run the show

Save your spot here ➡️ https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/howtoeat

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

October is a full month around here, and I didn't want World Osteoporosis Day to slip by without bringing Rebekah Rotstein back to the table. Rebekah is the founder of Buff Bones, and she has been living with osteoporosis since her diagnosis at 28, so she knows this topic from both sides.

Bone health finally has a seat at the table in midlife conversations, which I love. It also means a lot more noise. In this episode we clear some of it up:

• What bone density means and what a DEXA scan measures (and why full-body DEXA centres aren't the same thing)
• Why the years around your final period matter so much for your bones
• How hard strength training needs to feel to stimulate bone, and whether you have to lift heavy
• Where jumping and impact fit, and why they aren't right for every body
• Weighted vests, vibration plates and grip strength, and what the evidence says

If you've been worried that you're not doing enough for your bones, I hope this conversation leaves you clearer and a lot calmer.

Have a bone health question for Rebekah or me? Send it my way.

CONNECT WITH REBEKAH
Website: https://buff-bones.com/

JOIN ME
Start your 7-day trial: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
Book a connection call with me: https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

FREE SUPPORT
Grab my Free Menopause Nutrition Guide + 10 Recipes: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/MenopauseNutritionGuide

RELATED EPISODES
Episode 114 Beyond the Metrics: Getting Intuitive About Bone Health with Rebekah Rotstein
Episode 68 Got Buff Bones? How to Improve Your Bone Fitness & Reduce Your Fracture Risk with Rebekah Rotstein
Episode 65 The Impact of Movement on Your Bone Health in Menopause with Niamh Daly

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

This year's World Menopause Day theme is chronic pain in midlife, so I'm following up my conversation with Robyn Kievit NP RD (ep 209) on hormones and joint pain by walking you through the differences between pain and inflammation, and sharing five evidence-based tips for managing pain in midlife and menopause. I also share why I'm cautious about the collagen, turmeric and eggshell membrane supplements filling so many cupboards.

If you're living with chronic pain in perimenopause or menopause, I hope this helps you spend less time worrying about every bite and more time adding in the things that work.

JOIN ME
Watch the hormone therapy Q&A with Robyn Kievit inside the Midlife Feast Community. The recording is available to watch anytime in The Feaster Library.
Start your 7-day trial: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
Book a connection call with me: https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

FREE SUPPORT
Grab my Free Menopause Nutrition Guide + 10 Recipes: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/MenopauseNutritionGuide

RELATED EPISODES
Episode 209 Menopause Joint Pain: Estrogen, Hormones & Food Myths
Episode 204 Day 4: Add, Don't Subtract - A Better Way to Think About Menopause Nutrition
Episode 200 Oatmeal, Overthinking, and Why Food Feels So Complicated in Menopause

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

For most of my life, I believed that changing my body was the answer to how I felt in it. As a teenager, after my pregnancies, and again in perimenopause, I was sure that losing weight would finally let me stop thinking about my body. It didn't, and the research tells us I'm far from alone.

Today I'm joined by Dr. Charlotte Markey, body image scientist and psychology professor at Rutgers University. We dig into what body image is, why weight loss so rarely delivers the comfort it promises, and how GLP-1 medications are changing the body image landscape.

We talk about:
• Charlotte's simple definition of body image: how comfortable you are in your own skin
• Why body dissatisfaction often moves to a new target after weight loss
• Her research showing that people with more body acceptance felt less pull toward GLP-1s
• Informed consent, body autonomy, and what to ask yourself before starting a medication to feel better in your body
• The freedom in remembering that we don't work in Hollywood
• Why acceptance needs a rebrand

If you've ever believed a smaller body would finally bring you peace, this conversation is for you.

CONNECT WITH CHARLOTTE
Website: https://www.thebodyimagebook.com
Instagram: @char_markey

JOIN ME
Start your 7-day trial: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
Book a connection call with me: https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

FREE SUPPORT
Un-Diet Your Mindset Guide: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset

RELATED EPISODES
Episode 197:Menopause and Body Image: How to Accept Your Changing Body with Alli Spotts-De-Lazzer, LMFT, CEDS-C()
Episode 186: GLP-1s, Intuitive Eating & Finding Food Freedom: A Conversation with Sam Previte RD

Episode 109:The Body Acceptance Mistake That’s Keeping You Stuck in the Suck

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Joint pain, stiffness and those tin man mornings are some of the most common symptoms of menopause, yet they don't get the same air time as hot flashes and mood swings. With World Menopause Day on October 18 focusing on chronic pain this year, I invited Robyn Kievit, NP, RD, CEDS, MSCP, the first dietitian to become a nurse practitioner, to help me unpack what is going on in our joints and muscles.

We talk about why estrogen matters for muscles, joints and connective tissue, why the ups and downs of perimenopause can feel harder than life after menopause, and what the research says about hormone therapy and pain. We also dig into the testosterone hype versus the evidence, what to consider if you are thinking about starting hormones later, and why it is okay if hormones don't work for you.

We also put on our dietitian hats, and you'll hear why no single food is inflammatory or anti-inflammatory, why your overall pattern of eating matters more than any one meal, and how to think about the supplements piling up in your cupboard.

If your joints and muscles are aching, I hope this conversation helps you feel less alone and more prepared for your next appointment.

CONNECT WITH ROBYN
Website: https://robynkievit.com
Beyond Nutrition course for dietitians and clinicians: https://robynkievit.com/course (use code JENN10)

JOIN ME
Join Robyn and me live in the Midlife Feast Community for a hormone therapy Q&A on October 14. The recording will be avaialble to watch anytime in The Feaster Library.

Start your 7-day trial: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
Book a connection call with me: https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

FREE SUPPORT
Grab my Free Menopause Nutrition Guide + 10 Recipes: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/MenopauseNutritionGuide

RELATED EPISODES
Episode 164 Autoimmune Disease in Midlife: Beyond Diet Culture Myths with Dr. Alison Danby ND:
Episode 67 Hot Flashes 101: Can you eat to beat the heat?

Episode 142Non-Hormonal Alternatives to HRT with Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz:

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

If you've ever wondered whether your "healthy eating" has started to feel more like anxiety, this episode is for you.

This week I'm joined by Jessica Thiefels, host of Nope, That's Not Normal, to talk about disordered eating. That's the wide, often invisible space between a relaxed relationship with food and eating disorders. Jess shares how a restrictive healing protocol in her twenties slowly turned into a decade of rigid eating, and the moment she said out loud, "I think I'm straddling the line."

I open up about my own story too, including the food lists I once handed out to my patients. Together we talk about some of the signs to watch for like rigidity, anxiety, and a "cleaner" standard you can never reach. We also get into why midlife is such a vulnerable time: a lifetime of body dissatisfaction meets intense menopause nutrition messaging, and women are praised for the very behaviours that are wearing them down.

Jess is hosting the first Disordered Eating Awareness Week, October 19 to 23. I'm on the midlife panel on October 20, and it's free to join.

If this conversation stirs something up, please be gentle with yourself. You don't have to figure it out alone.

Join Disordered Eating Awareness Week (free): https://disorderedeatingawarenessweek.com

Want support?

• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me): https://f.mtr.cool/HNVSNHTOCU
• Try the Midlife Feast Community free for 7 days: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial

Free support to get you started:

• Un-Diet Your Mindset: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Food Guilt Decoder: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/FoodGuiltDecoder

Related episodes:

• #113 Clean Eating Pitfalls in Midlife & Menopause with Dr. Morgan Francis: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/15069896
• #55 Raising the Red Flag About Eating Disorders in Midlife with Val Schonberg, RD: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/12276579
• #94 How to Trade Wellness Culture for Well-being in Midlife with Christy Harrison, RD: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/14177909

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Most of us can still remember the diet ads from our youth. We can't remember why we walked into the kitchen, but we can remember the jingle.

My guest this week is Lu Chekowsky, an Emmy Award winning creative director who spent her career inside the industry, spending time at MTV and Facebook, all while quietly struggling with her own body. Her memoir, Don't Buy What I'm Selling, traces the origin of how those messages shaped her, and how she found her way back out.

We talk about the ads that shaped Gen X, what really happens in the room when a campaign gets built, and why Lu says we are outnumbered. She means that as a kindness.

If you have ever wondered why the food noise is so loud, and why diet culture is everwhere, this one will explain a lot.

Learn more about Lu and where to buy her book at https://www.lchekowsky.com/

Related episodes:

• Menopause and Body Image: How to Accept Your Changing Body with Alli Spotts-De-Lazzer
• Why You Don't Trust Yourself Around Food (and How to Rebuild It) with Fiona Sutherland
• Day 1: How to Un-Diet in Midlife and Menopause

Need help un-dieting your way out from diet culture?

• Book a 20-minute Midlife & Strategy Session Call: https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF
• Exlore the Feaster community and find food freedom and body confidence: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/themidlifefeastcommunity

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Welcome to a new season of The Midlife Feast! I'm kicking off this season by naming the mindset that might be making things harder: treating your body, midlife, and menopause like an ongoing project to manage.

I walk through what that costs, how it shows up in real life, and how we can shift from obsessive optimization to a steadier partnership with our bodies, including:
• the core question that changes everything: what if your body wasn’t a project to solve?
• the moving finish line and why “enough” never arrives
• the audit mode where meals and movement become performance metrics
• how tracking, wearables, and nonstop data can disrupt body attunement
• the betrayal narrative and my own reminder that these thoughts can show up even after years of intuitive eating
• shifting from project manager to partner and the questions that create ease

Related Episodes

• The One Thing Menopause Dietitians Want You to Know About Nutrition with Laura Clark, RD
• Why You Don't Trust Yourself Around Food (and How to Rebuild It) with Fiona Sutherland
• How to Appreciate Your Changing Menopause Body with Dr. Charlotte Ord

Want more support?

• Free Un-Diet Your Mindset Guide→ https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Join my Group Coaching Community free for 7 days → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me) → https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

And if you've loved today's conversation and found it helpful, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Welcome to Day 5, the final episode of the Midlife & Menopause Un-Dieting Mini-Series!

Over the last four days, we've explored four pillars that can help you build a more trusting, flexible relationship with food: understanding, self-compassion, attunement, and gentle nutrition.

But what happens when you put them all together?

In this episode, we're looking at the fear that stops many people from letting go of food rules: If I stop dieting, does that mean I stop caring about my health?

The answer is no!

You'll learn how to use nutrition knowledge without turning it into another set of rules, and how to care for your health without making food a full-time job.

Because the alternative to dieting isn't giving up. It's finding a way of eating that actually works for real life.

Free support to get you started:

• Un-Diet Your Mindset → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Food Guilt Decoder → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/FoodGuiltDecoder

Want more support?

• Try the Midlife Feast Community free for 7 days → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me) → https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

Related episodes:

• Day 1 → https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19715276
• Day 2 → https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19720938
• Day 3 →https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19721372
• Day 4 →https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19728345

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Welcome back to Day 4 of my Midlife and Menopause Un-Dieting series. Yesterday I asked you to sit with one question: what do I want? It's sometimes easier to outsource "what should I eat?" than to honestly ask what you want. Today we add the other half: what do I need? And that's where gentle nutrition comes in.

Un-dieting doesn't mean throwing nutrition out the window. It means bringing it in as information, not another set of rules. The trap is that diet culture has made weight loss a proxy for everything, and I firmly believe that your health should not become a full-time job!

So we come back to the question of this series: what would taking care of myself look like if I didn't require my body to get smaller in return? That widens the lens. That's what I love about gentle nutrition: instead of asking what to cut out, you get to ask what you can add.

Your practice for today: ask what do I want, then add what do I need, and see what happens when you let both into the conversation.

Tomorrow is Day 5, where we bring all four pillars together so food and eating feel easier. Because menopause is hard enough. Food shouldn't be!

Free support to get you started:

• Un-Diet Your Mindset → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Food Guilt Decoder → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/FoodGuiltDecoder

Want more support?

• Try the Midlife Feast Community free for 7 days → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me) → https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

Related episodes:

• Day 1 → https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19715276
• Day 2 → https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19720938
• Day 3 →https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19721372

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Welcome to day 3 of the Midlife & Menopause Un-Dieting Series. If you’ve spent years following food rules, tracking what you eat, or being told you can’t trust yourself around food, “just listen to your body” can feel like a foreign language.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about attunement - what it actually means, why your hunger and satisfaction cues may feel hard to hear, and how to start reconnecting with them.

I also share a very real-life reminder that capability and capacity are not the same thing, plus a simple 10-second practice to try before your next meal.

Free support to get you started:

• Un-Diet Your Mindset → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Food Guilt Decoder → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/FoodGuiltDecoder

Want more support?

• Try the Midlife Feast Community free for 7 days → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me) → https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

Related episodes:

• Day 1 — How to Un-Diet in Midlife and Menopause → https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19715276
• Day 2 → https://www.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19720938

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Welcome back to Day 2 of my Midlife and Menopause Un-Dieting series. Yesterday we talked about the diet cycle - the plan, the tracking, the promise that this time you'll have more discipline… until life gets lifey and it all falls apart. Today I want to gently blow up the story we tell ourselves next: that we failed because we don't have enough willpower.

Here's what I hear all the time: "I know what to do, I just don't do it." And I get it! You do know that protein matters and that eating nothing all day leaves you eating crackers out of the box at 9pm. The problem was never that you don't care enough. The real question is: what are you actually asking yourself to do?

In this episode I redefine self-compassion (hint: it's not about being nice to yourself), unpack why all-or-nothing thinking keeps the cycle spinning, and remind you that health does not require perfect eating.

Tomorrow: attunement, and how to listen to your body without turning intuitive eating into another set of rules.

Free support to get you started:

• Un-Diet Your Mindset → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Food Guilt Decoder → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/FoodGuiltDecoder

Want more support?

• Try the Midlife Feast Community free for 7 days → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me) → https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

Related episodes:

• Day 1 — How to Un-Diet in Midlife and Menopause → https://themidlifefeast.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19715276-day-1-how-to-un-diet-in-midlife-and-menopause

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Half a million downloads. I'm still a little speechless! To celebrate, I'm doing a five-day un-dieting mini-series, and Day 1 starts with the one question I want you to carry into every episode: What would taking care of myself look like if I didn't require my body to get smaller in return?

In this short episode I explain why un-dieting isn't the same as "not dieting." Un-dieting is unlearning, letting go of the default programming that says your body has to shrink in exchange for eating a vegetable, moving your body, or adding more protein to your plate. I walk you through the diet cycle I see so many of us stuck in, why it stops working, and how even "weight-neutral" goals can quietly pull you right back in.

No download or signup required, just a few minutes a day for the next 5 days.

Free support to get you started:

• Un-Diet Your Mindset → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/undietyourmindset
• Food Guilt Decoder → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/FoodGuiltDecoder

If you need some support:

• Try the Midlife Feast Community free for 7 days → https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/7daytrial
• Book a no-strings connection call (virtual coffee with me) → https://p.bttr.to/3DQX9SF

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

This is the 200th episode and the season finale, and I'm closing out the season by defending the most controversial breakfast on the internet: oatmeal.

I'm only half joking. Yes, I answer all of your oatmeal questions in this episode. Steel cut versus rolled, how to add protein, cooked versus overnight, and whether it deserves its reputation as a heart-healthy food. But the real conversation is about something bigger. If a humble bowl of oatmeal can make us anxious, then we have some food noise to untangle.

I share why so many of us are overcomplicating food and what information overload does to our confidence. My hope is that you finish this one feeling calmer, more confident, and ready to spend less time thinking about food and more time living your life.

Grab my 5 easy Build-A-Bowl Oatmeal recipes

Related episodes you'll love:

• #105 Dear Diet Culture Diary: What the 80s Taught Us About Food: https://themidlifefeast.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/14680165-105-dear-diet-culture-diary-what-the-80s-taught-us-about-food
• #147 How to Stop the Cycle of "Starting Over" Every Monday: https://themidlifefeast.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/16816700-147-how-to-stop-the-cycle-of-starting-over-every-monday
• #199 Why you Don't Trust Yourself Around Food with Fiona Sutherland: https://themidlifefeast.buzzsprout.com/1851576/episodes/19377509

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Whenever I talk about intuitive eating, women tell me the same thing: "I love the idea, but I don't trust myself around food." And when I talk to dietitians who help people shift from a weight-centric to weight-neutral or inclusive practice, they find it hard to communicate the idea of self-trust. If you can relate to either of these, this conversation is exactly what you need!

This week I'm joined by Fiona Sutherland, an accredited practicing dietitian, author, and mentor from Melbourne, and one of the most thoughtful and experienced voices in the world of nutrition. Together we explore why self-trust feels so hard in midlife, especially when your body, hunger, and energy seem to be changing overnight.

Fiona and I unpack how years of dieting can chip away at your confidence, why outsourcing your food decisions to a plan feels safer (and what it costs you), and what gently rebuilding trust actually looks like, starting with curiosity instead of control. We also talk about why reaching for support is a sign of courage, and the surprising ingredient Fiona believes most of us are missing in midlife.

If you've ever wondered whether you can trust yourself again, I think you'll leave this one feeling a little more hopeful. Listen now.

Connect with Fiona: Website: https://www.themindfuldietitian.com.au/ Instagram: @the.mindfuldietitian

If this episode resonated with you, come join us inside The Midlife Feast Community. It's where women in midlife come for evidence-based menopause nutrition, intuitive eating support, live coaching, and a community that understands what this season of life is really like. I'd love to welcome you there.
Learn more: The Midlife Feast Community: https://www.menopausenutritionist.ca/themidlifefeastcommunity

Related Episodes:

#197 Menopause and Body Image: How to Accept Your Changing Body with Alli Spotts-De-Lazzer, LMFT, CEDS-C

#147 How to Stop the Cycle of "Starting Over" Every Monday

#154 How to Appreciate Your Changing Menopause Body with Dr. Charlotte Ord

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

Is it perimenopause, or are you just finally fed up with the world? Honestly, it might be both.

In this listener Q&A, I'm answering the questions so many of you have been sending me, and they're the kind that probably sound familiar. We start with mood, because so many of us feel more irritable, less patient, and a lot less willing to tolerate things we used to put up with. I'll walk you through what's happening with your hormones and neurotransmitters, and why your reasons for feeling done are still valid even when biology is part of the picture.

From there, I tackle the big one: the belief that decades of dieting have "broken" your metabolism. I talk about what's really driving the lose-it-gain-it cycle, why intermittent fasting leaves so many women feeling awful, and the food guilt that shows up over something as ordinary as two slices of bread.

I also answer a question that pulled at my heart, from a parent who overheard their daughter say she needed to "walk off" her dessert. If you've ever heard your own voice come out of someone you love, this one is for you.

If any of this lands, I'd love to keep the conversation going. You'll find a link in the show notes to send me your questions for the next Q&A, and if you're ready for support:

Book a call

Become a Feaster

Send me your question for a future Q&A episode!

Related episodes you'll love:

• #132: Why You Need to Put Capacity, Self-Compassion & Self-Care on the Menu
• #147: Why You Keep Starting Over Every Monday
• #136: Health vs. Weight: Debunking the Biggest Wellness Myth with Val Schonberg, RD

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

What is acceptance is the requirement for growht? What would life look like if you just stopped trying to fix yourself?

That's the question at the heart of this conversation with returning guest Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist who has spent nearly 20 years working with people around eating, body image, and the experience of living in a body.

We dig into why self-esteem is a shaky foundation in midlife, when opinions of ourselves rise and fall with every hormonal shift and identity change. Alli's working definition of self-acceptance cuts deeper: choosing to stay with yourself even when shame, judgment, ego, or fear try to pull you away. It's knowing yourself, plus self-compassion, plus the willingness to face reality.

The biggest misunderstanding we tackle: acceptance is not resignation. Resignation says "it is what it is, there's nothing I can do." Acceptance says "it is what it is. What's next?" One keeps you stuck. The other creates the conditions for growth.

We also do a live, unscripted experiment using my own belly and body image history, which turned into one of the most unexpectedly moving moments I've had on this podcast.

Alli also shares news about her new book, My Child Has an Eating Disorder: An Essential Guide for Parents of Kids, Teens, and Adults (Bloomsbury Academic, 2026).

Connect with Alli: Website: allispottsdelazzer.com Instagram: @allispottsdelazzer

Related episodes:

• #57 - Story Session: What this therapist wants you to know about making midlife meaningFULL with Alli Spotts-De Lazzer
• #141 - Trusting Your Body: Finding Peace Through Grief with Nina Manolson
• #92 - From Body Grief to Body Acceptance: The Way Forward with Amanda Mittman, RD
• #109 - The Body Acceptance Mistake That's Keeping You Stuck in the Suck

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

I sat down with Cadence Dubus, founder of Brooklyn Strength, host of the Busybody Podcast, and we talked about why midlife movement gets so complicated when you’ve been trained to chase fitness rules, perfect routines, and a specific body. We unpack how to rebuild trust so movement supports real life, not a pass-fail scoreboard.

• Why the "one size fits all" fitness world was never designed for bodies that cycle, fluctuate, and change (like ours)
• How metrics like step counts and Apple Watch data may be creating noise instead of information
• The difference between being a baker (give me a formula!) and a cook (I'll figure it out), and why both are valid starting points
• What it actually looks like to work with someone on movement from a somatic, body-centered approach
• How to know if you're doing "enough," and why your body's cravings are more reliable than any tracker
• Why joy and play might be the most underrated missing ingredients in midlife fitness culture

About Cadence Dubus: Cadence Dubus is the founder of Brooklyn Strength, a 16-year-old fitness and wellness company offering movement coaching and courses virtually and in person. She is also the host of the Busybody Podcast. Cadence's work is rooted in somatic movement, body autonomy, and helping people find sustainable fitness practices that fit their actual lives. Find her on Instagram at @brooklynstrength and at www.brooklynstrength.com

Related episodes you'll love:

• How to Un-Diet Your Relationship with Movement in Midlife with Christine Chessman
• New Moves in Menopause with Dr. Maria Luque

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

I'm bringing back one of my favourite conversations this week because May is Osteoporosis Awareness Month, and this topic is too important to let it gather dust in the archive.

If you've ever left a bone density scan feeling more confused than when you walked in, or got a result that said "osteopenia" and weren't quite sure whether to panic or carry on as normal, this episode is for you.

In this conversation, I'm joined by Rebekah Rotstein, Pilates instructor, movement educator, and founder of the Buff Bones method. Rebekah was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 28, which means she has been living with and studying this topic for nearly two decades. She brings a perspective that is part patient, part expert, and very relatable.

We get into what bone density testing actually measures and where it falls short, why osteopenia is not something to brush off or ignore, what strength training for your bones really looks like (and why you do not need to be standing in front of a weight rack to do it), and the important difference between your bone density conversation and your fracture risk conversation. They are parallel, but they are not the same thing.

I also share my own take on calcium and why the "just take a supplement" approach has underperformed, and what it really means to nourish your bones with the whole capsule, not just one ingredient.

About Rebekah Rotstein: Rebekah Rotstein is a Pilates instructor, integrated movement educator, and founder of the Buff Bones method, a medically endorsed exercise system for bone and joint health with certified instructors in more than 30 countries. She serves on the Society for Women's Health Research Bone Health Roundtable and has been advocating for earlier bone screening since her own diagnosis at 28. Find her at buff-bones.com or on Instagram at @gotbuffbones.

Related Episodes You'll Love:

• #114 - Beyond the Metrics: Getting Intuitive About Bone Health with Rebekah Rotstein
• #65 - The Impact of Movement on Bone Health in Menopause with Niamh Daly

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.

If you're feeling confused by all the menopause fitness advice, this episode will clear that up for you!

I am so glad to welcome Dr. Maria Luque back to The Midlife Feast. Maria is a menopause fitness expert with a literal PhD in this space, and she is one of the very few people I trust to cut through the noise in the increasingly crowded menopause fitness world. And there is a lot of noise. Self-proclaimed experts, clickbait advice, "you must lift heavy four times a week or your bones will crumble" fear-mongering. No wonder so many of the women I work with feel paralyzed before they even start.

In this conversation, we get into:

• Why the fitness space has become a swamp of misinformation, and how to spot it
• The Sally story (a composite of so many women I talk to) and why feeling behind is keeping you stuck
• Why capacity, not willpower, is the real conversation, and why "we all have the same 24 hours" makes both of us want to punch a wall
• Movement snacks, lowering the bar, and Maria's even better idea of throwing the bar away
• Why functional goals (lifting your dog, getting up off the toilet at 80, playing with grandkids) are far more sustainable than weight-loss goals
• How to celebrate the small wins so you actually want to keep going
• The missing ingredient in midlife, and it might not be what you think

This is the conversation I wish every woman in perimenopause and menopause could hear before another fitness influencer convinces her she is failing at something that was never designed for her in the first place.

If clients come to me because they are out of capacity, not out of knowledge, this episode is the same conversation in fitness form. You already know enough. You just need permission to trust yourself.

About Dr. Maria Luque: Dr. Maria Luque is a menopause fitness expert, health science professor, US Air Force veteran, and mother. She holds a PhD in Health Sciences focused on quality of life in menopause, and her work brings a weight-neutral, evidence-based perspective to the often confusing world of fitness in midlife. Her new book, New Moves inMenopause is out now - https://newmovesinmenopause.com/

You can also find her on Instagram @drmarialuque.

Mentioned in this episode:

• The Feaster Community (where our Joyful Movement Coordinator Christine Chessman shares no-pressure movement support): www..menopausenutritionist.ca/themidlifefeastcommunity

Related Episodes You'll Love:

• #25: Redefining Strength with Dr Maria Luque
• #59: Menopause, Movement and Body Image with Dr Maria Luque
• #69 How to Un-Diet Your Relationship with Movement in Midlife with Christine Chessman

Order Maria's book here:https://newmovesinmenopause.com/

What did you think of this episode? Click here and let me know!

📚 I wrote a book! Eat To Thrive During Menopause is out now! Order your copy todayand start thriving in midlife.