10% Happier with Dan Harris

Why "how am I feeling?" isn't always the right question, why resilience doesn't mean what you think it means, and how rituals can steady you.

Dr. Suzan Song is a Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist, humanitarian researcher, and adviser. For more than two decades, she has dedicated her work to building resilience in individuals and communities affected by adversity. She has a private practice in Washington D.C., is a professor of psychiatry at George Washington University, and is a sought-after speaker on the science of healing. Her new book is Why We Suffer and How We Heal: Using Narrative, Ritual, and Purpose to Flourish Through Life's Challenges.

In this episode we talk about:

• How a violent attack on her father shaped her life's work
• Why we recreate the painful situations we swore we'd avoid
• Why chasing stability causes so much of our suffering
• Three tools for hard times: narrative, ritual, and purpose
• How to spot and rewrite the scripts running our lives
• How people heal in countries with almost no therapists
• Why validation has to come before asking someone to change
• Why purpose is about being needed, not achieving more
• Why she thinks we've gotten "resilience" all wrong

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Buddhist advice on taking care of yourself so you can take care of the world, including what to do with your outrage, and why looking for the good on purpose isn't denial.

The news is painful right now. And for most of us, the options we reach for — doom-scrolling, rage-posting, or unplugging entirely — don't actually help. Meditation teacher and bestselling author Sharon Salzberg joins Dan to take live questions from the 10% with Dan Harris community on how to find solid ground when the world feels like it's on fire.

In this conversation, Sharon Salzberg and Dan Harris discuss:

• How to feel your anger without being consumed by it — and why that distinction matters
• What's usually hiding underneath the anger: grief, fear, and sadness
• Why action is the antidote to despair — and what actually counts as action
• How civil rights movement leaders sustained their effort in the face of uncertainty
• How to handle guilt about not doing enough
• Why "look for the helpers" is more than a platitude
• Whether meditation can possibly be relevant in a full-blown poly-crisis — Sharon's answer may surprise you
• Sharon Salzberg is one of the most influential meditation teachers in the Western world. She has been teaching for over four decades and is a co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. She is the author of many books, including Lovingkindness and Real Happiness. Find more of her guided meditations in the 10% with Dan Harris app.

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Buddhist advice on the feeling of "I'm not enough," the voice that says "if I don't do it, no one will," and tolerating uncertainty without impatience.

Santacitta Bhikkhuni trained as a nun in England & Asia, primarily in the lineage of Ajahn Chah and has also received teachings in the Shechen lineage of Tibetan Buddhism. She is committed to Gaia as a living being and resides at Aloka Earth Room, currently in San Rafael, California. She recently co-authored the book What Are You Waiting For? A Conversation about Buddhism between Two Old Friends. You can find more of Ayya's teachings in audio & video format, as well as ongoing events in-person & online.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why self-improvement might be the wrong goal entirely
• The upside of having your heart broken
• Why patience isn't just for old ladies
• How to actually tolerate uncertainty
• The difference between reacting and responding
• What waiting in line can teach you
• The devotional practice missing from Western Buddhism
• What it means to become part of the Earth's immune system

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Winter is coming. The author of Wintering on weathering the cold, dark seasons, literally and otherwise, with rituals, cold-water swimming, reading in the middle of the night, and a lesson from a hibernating dormouse.

Katherine May is the New York Times bestselling author of Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. She is an internationally renowned writer, podcaster and speaker whose work touches on nature, spirituality, slow living, and neurodivergence; her podcast is The Clearing. Katherine lives by the sea in Whitstable, UK, with her husband, son, and pets.

In this episode we talk about:

• What "wintering" means, and why hard seasons aren't personal failures
• How trees and a hibernating dormouse model surviving the cold
• Katherine's year of cascading disasters while writing Wintering
• The difference between control and agency when the world feels overwhelming
• How fear spreads online like rabbits fleeing danger signals
• Why rest isn't selfish, and how caregivers are denied it
• Rejecting performative rest, ice-bath bros, and biohacked cold-water swimming
• Simple rituals, "first and second sleep," and reading through insomnia

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Plus: surviving cancer twice, what three divorces taught him, and being a Baptist who owns a bourbon company.

Terry Bradshaw is one of America's best-loved sports figures. As quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Hall of Famer led his team to four Super Bowl victories. Since retiring from football, Bradshaw has become a celebrated sportscaster, actor, and entrepreneur. "Pappy" Bradshaw and his wife Tammy live in Texas near daughters Rachel, Lacey, and Erin, and their families. His new book is Looking for Terry: A Memoir.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why Terry spent years not knowing he had clinical depression
• The day he broke down sobbing on the field mid-game
• Why men resist asking for help, and what they do instead
• How his wife naming his depression "Roy" makes it more manageable
• His lifelong struggle to win his mother's approval
• What three divorces taught him about himself and marriage
• Squaring his Christian faith with owning a bourbon company
• Surviving two cancers in one year
• Loving life at 78

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We live as if we'll live forever, then die as if we've never lived. A Zen nun and MD on the daily practices that break that pattern.

Sister Dang Nghiem, MD, has a new book called Live Beautifully, Die Beautifully: Field Notes from the Edge of Impermanence. Sister D was born in 1968 in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive, the daughter of a Vietnamese mother and an American soldier. She lost her mother at the age of twelve and immigrated to the United States at the age of seventeen with her brother. Living in various foster homes, she learned English and went on to earn a medical degree from the University of California – San Francisco. After suffering further tragedy and loss, she quit her practice as a doctor to travel to Plum Village monastery in France, founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, where she was ordained a nun in 2000.

Sister D is the author of a memoir, Healing: A Woman's Journey from Doctor to Nun (2010); Mindfulness as Medicine: A Story of Healing and Spirit (2015); Flowers in the Dark: Reclaiming Your Power to Heal from Trauma with Mindfulness (2021); and The River In Me: Verses of Transformation, Collected Poems (2024).

In this episode we talk about:

• The Buddha's Five Daily Remembrances, and why you'd want to practice them
• Why our denial of aging and death causes far more suffering than aging or death
• How thanking your changing body can turn dread into gratitude
• Thich Nhat Hanh's wisdom of "the non-toothache moment" and hidden everyday happiness
• Treating despair and negative self-talk as small deaths we can release
• Why it's natural to fear death, and how to fear it less
• Why grief has no finish line, and the cost of rushing through it

Related Episodes:

• Buddhist Strategies for Reducing Everyday Addictions
• Your Negative, Ruminating Mind: Here's Your Way Out
• This Episode Will Make You Stronger

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Plus: how to actually change a habit, how to get distance from negative thoughts, why the spark fades, and whether what doesn't kill you really makes you stronger.

Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist at New York University's Stern School of Business and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Anxious Generation.

He is also the author of the recently re-released The Happiness Hypothesis, and of The New York Times bestsellers The Righteous Mind, and The Coddling of the American Mind (with Greg Lukianoff). He has given four TED talks and been named a TIME100 Health leader.

In this episode we talk about:

• A two-word Stoic mantra that keeps you from suffering twice
• Why willpower alone won't change your habits, and what will
• Tricks for getting distance from negative thoughts
• Why the spark fades, and what actually makes love last
• Whether Buddhist non-attachment can be squared with loving your family
• The growing bipartisan backlash against smartphones, social media and AI
• Whether what doesn't kill you really makes you stronger
• Why ancient wisdom matters more in an age of uncertainty

Related Episodes:

• Jonathan Haidt's first appearance on the show

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Plan for the worst without spiraling, catch trouble early, and turn bad news into fuel.

Dr. Raj Panjabi, MD is the author of Safer: A Playbook—Turning Fear into Action and Crisis into Community. He served as Senior Director for Global Health Security and Biodefense at the White House National Security Council (2022-2023) where he co-led the largest vaccination campaign in history against COVID-19 and U.S. responses to other public health crises, including mpox, influenza and Ebola.

A Harvard Medical School physician, Dr. Panjabi is the co-founder and former CEO of Last Mile Health, which has trained thousands of community health workers to bring care to communities beyond the reach of any health system. One of TIME's 100 Most Influential People in the World and TIME's 50 Most Influential People in Healthcare, twice named to the FORTUNE World's 50 Greatest Leaders list, and to FORBES 250 Most Successful Immigrants, Raj has received the TED Prize, Clinton Global Citizen Award, and World Economic Forum's Social Entrepreneur of the Year award.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why denial is hardwired: the evolutionary roots of normalcy bias
• How pre-mortems and Stoic "premeditation of evils" calm the nervous system
• Setting triggers in advance to avoid both overreacting and underreacting
• Missing his infant daughter's heart failure, and what it taught him
• Fleeing Liberia's civil war
• The three circles of community
• Curiosity over control: asking "what's in the way?" instead of blaming
• Holding your purpose tightly and your plans loosely, especially in a disrupted economy
• Why to embrace uncertainty, and how to come out of it stronger

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Why it's OK to go to bed angry, be awkward, and not like your coworkers. Plus, the three kinds of friends you need and the one-line script that makes hard feedback land.

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School, where he has been the top-rated professor for seven straight years. His new book is Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World.

Adam's books have sold millions of copies, he's one of TED's most popular speakers, and his podcast Re:Thinking has over 100 million downloads. He's been recognized as the world's second-most influential management thinker and one of Fortune's 40 Under 40.

In this episode we talk about:

• The four kinds of relationships, and which ones most people are missing
• How to stop replaying awkward conversations in your head
• Why men struggle to make friends
• Turning a pal into a companion, including the haunted house trick
• How to give feedback without putting people on the defensive
• Why "agree to disagree" keeps relationships from handling friction
• Why it's OK to go to bed angry
• Why great teams don't require liking your coworkers or daily office time

Related Episodes:

• Adam Grant on Perfectionism and Procrastination
• Adam Grant on the Science of Potential and Achievement
• Adam Grant on Languishing

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Additional Resources:

• Hidden Potential
• Think Again
• Originals
• Give and Take

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Plus: the only two things you really take with you when you leave a job, why following a great boss beats chasing a hot company, and why she thinks "I've missed the boat" on AI is a lie.

Molly Graham is the host of TED's WorkLife podcast, co-founder of the leadership communities Glue Club and the Guild, and writer of Lessons on Substack.

In this episode we talk about:

• What a flock of starlings can teach you about your career
• Why not having a long-term plan might be your secret advantage
• How to navigate your career when you don't have a map
• Why joy at work might not be a luxury after all
• The simple calendar exercise that reveals what's quietly draining you
• Why being great at something doesn't mean you should keep doing it
• The career currency most of us chronically undervalue
• Why you should follow people instead of rocket ships
• How to spot a "LinkedIn crush" before it steers your next move
• The kind of fear that's actually a green light
• Why your calendar is a war zone of unfortunate yeses
• Molly's antidote to the doom narrative around AI at work
• Why it's not too late to get comfortable with AI

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This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp: BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Visit http://betterhelp.com/happier to explore your payment options.

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A tongue-in-cheek jaw release, a 30-second shake-off, and a two-finger trick that tells your body it's safe. Plus: why scrolling feels relaxing but isn't.

Nadia Narain and Katia Narain Phillips are the authors of the international bestsellers Self-Care for The Real World and Rituals for Every Day. Their most recent book, Glimmers: Tiny Moments to Transform Your Life, was published in January 2026.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why staying calm all the time isn't actually the goal
• The sneaky state that masquerades as rest
• How to find glimmers in even the most ordinary moments
• Why glimmers turn out to be contagious
• The odd little trick for releasing tension you didn't know you carried
• What animals know about stress that we've forgotten
• How your field of vision talks to your nervous system
• Why your chores might be a secret meditation practice
• What rushing does to even the best of intentions
• Why leaving dishes in the sink can be a sign of progress
• The overlooked basics behind so much everyday stress
• Why rest isn't one-size-fits-all
• What it means to reparent yourself

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Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

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Why tensing against pain makes it worse, the difference between acceptance and passivity, and how to plan for the future while staying present—from two of Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh's senior students.

Brother Thích Chân Pháp Dung is a Vietnamese American Buddhist monk ordained in 1998 and a Dharma Teacher in the Plum Village tradition, founded by Zen Master Thích Nhất Hạnh. He currently practices and teaches at Deer Park Monastery in California and is the founder of the Thích Nhất Hạnh School of Interbeing.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a senior Dharma teacher in Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village Zen lineage who also teaches Vipassana in the Insight tradition. After 15 years as an ordained nun in Thich Nhat Hanh's monastic community, she now teaches internationally, integrating mindfulness with creative expression, social and racial justice, and care for the Earth. She is the author of We Were Made for These Times and co-author of Healing Our Way Home: Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy, and Liberation. You can also read Kaira Jewel's essays on Substack.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why we need to hear the same teachings over and over
• What it means to be alive while you're alive
• The hidden gifts of turning toward difficulty
• How to plan for the future without leaving the present
• The one sentence legendary teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said summed up all his teachings
• Where our true home really is
• How to accept things without becoming a doormat
• The difference between surrender and giving up

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This episode is sponsored by: Northwest Registered Agent: Visit http://northwestregisteredagent.com/HappierFree and start using free resources to build something amazing. Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at http://warbyparker.com/HAPPIER — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad Tonal: Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase at http://tonal.com/ with promo code HAPPIER.

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• Beloved Community information (Monastery & Buddhist-Christian meetings)
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• Insight Timer course: We Were Made For These Times: 10 Lessons In Moving Through Change, Loss & Disruption

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The liberation that comes from realizing that you're never going to get everything done.

Oliver Burkeman is the author of the Sunday Times bestselling Four Thousand Weeks, The Antidote, and most recently, Meditations for Mortals. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. He has a devoted following for his writing on productivity, mortality, the power of limits, and building a meaningful life in an age of bewilderment.

This episode originally appeared in April 2024.

In this episode we talk about:

• What the term "imperfectionism" means
• The illusion of reaching a point where "everything's done"
• Why there's liberation in seeing how finite we are
• Why small, imperfect actions are more valuable than perfect plans
• Why overplanning is a kind of avoidance
• How to make decisions
• The importance of finishing things
• Who you should develop a taste for problems
• Why effort doesn't always equal value
• Why we need to stop protecting other people's feelings
• And the paradox of mattering immensely and not at all

Related Episodes:

• The Power of Negative Thinking
• Time Management for Mortals

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This episode is sponsored by:

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You don't get to choose what's thrown at you — only how you respond. Karma as a tool for agency, attention sovereignty as a political act, and what to do when you feel completely helpless.

The news is a lot right now. And for most of us, the usual options — doom scroll until midnight, or unplug entirely — don't actually help. Meditation teacher Pascal Auclair joins Dan for a live community conversation on how to stay engaged with what's happening in the world without letting it wreck your nervous system, your relationships, or your sleep.

In this conversation, Pascal Auclair and Dan Harris discuss:

• Why reading the news can be reframed as an act of love — and why that changes everything
• What Buddhism actually says about karma, and whether the bad guys get theirs
• How to balance staying informed with protecting your mental health
• The difference between passive equanimity and wise, engaged action
• How much news is too much — and why the answer is different for everyone
• Why attention itself has become a battleground, and how mindfulness is your best defense

Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997. He was mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at IMS and Spirit Rock, where he now teaches retreats. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of its Guiding Teachers. Find more of his guided meditations in the 10% with Dan Harris app.

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Which conflict style are you? Plus: avoiding the "trance of nice," walking the high wire, and an uber-hack for getting over irritation.

devon + nico hase serve as guiding teachers of the online dharma community Refuge of Belonging. They teach at the Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, and other centers, offer online and in-person retreats, and speak with students in one-on-one sessions. They are the co-authors of How Not to Be a Hot Mess and the new This Messy, Gorgeous Love: A Buddhist Guide to Lasting Partnership.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why friction in relationships is a feature, not a bug
• The three directions of listening
• Why joy isn't a nice-to-have
• How contemplating death can dissolve everyday irritation
• Whether you're a volcano, a diplomat, or a dodger
• How to rupture like a pro
• Why real patience has teeth
• What it means to walk the high wire in a conflict

Related Episodes:

• The Sex Episode

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Six archetypes: Which one are you? Plus, a simple question to help you distinguish real, current fears from old, outdated ones.

Dr. Galit Atlas is an internationally renowned psychoanalyst and leader in relational psychoanalysis. She teaches at NYU and Columbia University and lectures internationally on sexuality, desire, and emotional inheritance. Her latest book is Come Closer. You can also read her essays on Substack, Wild Analysis with Dr. Galit Atlas.

In this episode we talk about:

• The six childhood archetypes that quietly run your adult relationships
• Why the version of you that felt too big or too small never actually grew up
• A simple question to ask yourself the moment old fear takes over
• The surprising link between blame and a feeling you'd rather not name
• What separates jealousy from envy — and why it matters more than you think
• The phrases people use when they're secretly telling you the opposite
• Why setting boundaries feels like betrayal if you were raised a certain way
• The real reason acceptance has to come before change, not after

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This episode is sponsored by: OSEA: Go to http://oseamalibu.com/ and get 10% off your first order with code HAPPIER.

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What kids can teach you about how to handle anger, being uptight, and rejection, according to the creator of Recess Therapy.

Julian Shapiro-Barnum is a comedian, writer, and interviewer known for Recess Therapy, Celebrity Substitute, and Outside Tonight. He's won seven Webby Awards, was named to the Forbes 30 Under 30, and received a Family Entertainment Award from Variety. His first book is How to Grow Up Without Becoming a Grown-Up.

In this episode we talk about:

• The playground question kids ask that adults are too scared to say out loud
• Why Julian stopped calling it your "inner child" — and what he calls it instead
• The trick for making feelings pass in minutes instead of weeks
• How breaking a rule on purpose can loosen something bigger in you
• The childhood habit that makes rejection sting so much less
• What growing up with five parents taught Julian about talking to anyone
• A tiny physical habit that can snowball into real change
• Why the most viral moment of his career wasn't about wisdom at all

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This episode is sponsored by: Planet Visionaries: In partnership with The Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, listen to or watch Planet Visionaries wherever you get your podcasts.

Fitnexa: You can learn more about the FitNexa Somnipods 3 at http://fitnexa.com/ and use the code HAPPIER10 for $10 off your order.

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The famed exoneree on making life worth living every day, flipping the narrative on the bad things, and the ancient Japanese practice of kintsugi.

Amanda Knox is an exoneree, journalist, comedian, and bestselling author of Waiting to Be Heard and FREE: My Search for Meaning. She hosts the podcast Hard Knox and advocates for criminal justice reform and media ethics.

In this episode we talk about:

• The one question Amanda Knox asks herself whenever something bad happens
• Why understanding someone who wronged you can matter more than forgiving them
• What a centuries-old Japanese art form taught Amanda about coming back from being broken
• The mindset shift that got her through years in prison, one day at a time
• Why accepting your life exactly as it is might be the first step to changing it
• The hidden trap inside feeling like a victim
• Why other people's version of you was never actually yours to carry

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Additional Resources:

• Amanda's Resilience series on Waking Up (plus her affiliate link).
• Dan's affiliate link for Waking Up.

This episode is sponsored by: Planet Visionaries: In partnership with The Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, listen to or watch Planet Visionaries wherever you get your podcasts.

Function Health: Join at http://functionhealth.com/HAPPIER and use code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit.

To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Plus: why being your 'best self' isn't about being nice or passive, why regulation starts before things go wrong, and how 'polyregulation' can help you up your game.

Marc Brackett, Ph.D. is the author of Dealing with Feeling: Use Your Emotions to Create the Life You Want and the bestselling Permission to Feel. He is the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. You can watch Marc's podcast interviews here.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why your "true self" might be the worst version of you
• The five-step process for catching yourself before you explode
• What to tell yourself in the doorway before you walk into a hard moment
• Why breathwork alone won't fix everything you're feeling
• The simple fix for total disengagement in your next Zoom meeting
• Why your best self should never be a doormat
• How to repair after you say the nastiest thing you've ever said
• How to build a go-to strategy before you even need it

Related Episodes:

•

The Science of Emotion Regulation: Strategies for When You're Anxious, Angry, or Comparing Yourself To Others | Marc Brackett

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Additional Resources:

This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp: Sign up and get 10% off at http://betterhelp.com/HAPPIER.

CocoaVia:: Visit https://www.cocoavia.com/discount/HAPPIER and use my promo code HAPPIER at checkout for an extra 20% off, or check out your local Sprouts Farmers Market. Thanks to CocoaVia for sponsoring this episode!

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Plus: Why acceptance isn't the same as resignation, a trick for gaining perspective, and the role faith plays in his life.

Josh Johnson is an Emmy-nominated writer, stand-up comedian, actor, and NAACP award-winner from Louisiana by way of Chicago. He was just named as the newest correspondent on Comedy Central's Emmy & Peabody Award-winning program The Daily Show, where he was previously a writer for the past six years. Johnson is also a former writer and performer on NBC's The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, where he made his late-night debut in 2017. In addition, he is Comedy Central's 'most watched comedian ever' with 40M+ views to date across their platforms.

In this episode we talk about:

• The difference between accepting a problem and simply giving up
• Why some anxiety is a rational response, not overthinking
• How he manages anxiety while covering the news every day on The Daily Show
• A simple trick for judging whether something is actually worth your worry
• What it's like growing up in church (and questioning parts of it as an adult)
• Why he thinks comedy helps people face hard realities instead of avoiding them
• The habit behind posting a new hour of comedy every single week for three years
• Why he believes AI's promised breakthroughs haven't actually shown up
• Why he thinks the public still has power to reject where AI is headed
• The advice about finishing your work that changed how he creates

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Additional Resources:

This episode is sponsored by:

iRESTORE: Unlock your best hair & skin with @iRestorelaser and HUGE savings on iRESTORE with code HAPPIER at http://irestore.com/HAPPIER! #irestorepod

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