Podcast
But You Look So Good
Two psychologists on a mission to illuminate the realities of living with chronic health conditions. Hosted by Sally Shaw and Seona Ilalio, both living with chronic conditions themselves. They lead Livology, a private practice specialising in psychological support for those navigating chronic health challenges. Tune in to hear candid conversations and professional insights designed to create community and connection within the chronic health conditions population.
- Episodes
- 139
- Releases
- Weekly
- Typical length
- 36 min
- On air since
- 2024
- Latest episode
- 2 days ago
Episodes
139 episodes, newest first
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40 min
Re-Release - I Can Control It
Season 1, Episode 137
Show notes
Join us this week as we revisit the inherent human desire for control—why it's so deeply ingrained and how it plays out in the context of living with a chronic health condition. We highlight how our quest to control every aspect of our health can sometimes do more harm than good. We’ll discuss the delicate balance between control and management, offering practical insights on how to develop a healthy relationship with control that empowers rather than overwhelms. Join us as we unpack strategies for finding your footing in a world where not everything can be controlled but where some control can still make all the difference.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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34 min
When the diagnosis is wrong
Season 1, Episode 136
Show notes
What happens when the diagnosis you’ve lived with for years is suddenly taken away? In this episode of But You Look So Good, we explore the psychological impact of delayed, incorrect or changing diagnoses, as Christina Applegate has recently experienced.
A diagnosis can offer more than a medical explanation: it can bring validation, identity, community and a sense of certainty. So what happens when that disappears, but your symptoms remain? We discuss the emotional rollercoaster of searching for answers, the impact of medical invalidation, and the grief and uncertainty that can follow a changed diagnosis. Plus, we share five practical psychological strategies to help you navigate the unknown, advocate for yourself and remember that your experience is real, regardless of the label.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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32 min
Where Did My Confidence Go?
Season 1, Episode 135
Show notes
Living with a chronic health condition can change how we feel about ourselves in ways we don't always recognise. Maybe you used to be confident at work, socially, in your body, or just making everyday decisions. But after years of unpredictable symptoms, cancelled plans, physical changes or having your experiences dismissed, that confidence can start to disappear.
In this episode, Sally and Seona explore why chronic illness can chip away at our confidence, how confidence differs from self-esteem, and what we can do to begin rebuilding trust in ourselves. Because confidence isn't necessarily about getting back to who you were. Sometimes it's about learning to believe in the person you are now.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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28 min
Create a flare plan
Season 1, Episode 134
Show notes
What do you do when you wake up and realise a flare might be starting? When you’re exhausted, overwhelmed or feeling unwell, it can be incredibly difficult to make thoughtful decisions about what you need—and what can wait.
In this episode, we’re talking about creating a flare plan when you’re well enough to make those decisions clearly. We’ll explore how to recognise your early warning signs, who you might need to contact, what you can cancel or postpone, and how to work out what genuinely helps (and what definitely doesn’t!).
We’ll also talk about the practical things that can make a flare easier—from asking for help with the kids to having messages ready for work, friends or family.
Because you don’t need to figure everything out when you’re feeling terrible. Create the plan now, so that when a flare comes along, you can move from “Oh no, what do I do?” to “Okay, I’ve been here before. I know what to do next.”
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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39 min
Health Anxiety & Chronic Illness
Season 1, Episode 133
Show notes
When you live with a chronic health condition, paying attention to your body is important. But what happens when paying attention turns into constantly monitoring, checking, Googling and worrying? In this episode, Sally and Seona explore health anxiety and why it can be particularly complicated when you already have a genuine health condition. We talk about the difference between sensible health vigilance and anxiety, why previous medical experiences can make us hyper-aware of symptoms, and how the anxiety–symptom cycle can keep us stuck. We also look at reassurance seeking, Dr Google and the challenge of living with uncertainty.
Most importantly, we share four practical and psychological strategies to help you manage health anxiety without ignoring your body or allowing worry to take over your life. Because managing a chronic illness is already a lot of work—we don't want worrying about our health to become another full-time job.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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28 min
It feels like a part time job (that i never applied for)
Season 1, Episode 132
Show notes
Managing a chronic health condition can sometimes feel like a part-time job — and on bad days, a full-time one! There are appointments to organise, medications to remember, symptoms to monitor, paperwork to complete, decisions to make and endless energy calculations. And that’s before you’ve even started your actual job, looked after your family or tried to have a social life.
In this episode, Seona and Sally unpack the hidden physical, cognitive and emotional workload of chronic illness management, including the mental load of constantly planning around symptoms and uncertainty. We also talk about why “just resting” isn’t always as simple as it sounds. Finally, we share four practical and psychological strategies to reduce the workload, protect your energy and make sure managing your health doesn’t become your whole life.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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34 min
Social media: the good, the bad and the algorithm
Season 1, Episode 131
Show notes
When you live with chronic illness, social media can be a lifeline. Finding people who truly get it, discovering practical tips, feeling validated and connecting with a community can make an enormous difference. But there’s another side to the algorithm. Comparison, doomscrolling, symptom searching, scary stories and the pressure to be “doing illness right” can leave us feeling anxious, overwhelmed or inadequate.
In this episode, Sally and Seona explore both sides of social media and chronic illness, including why diagnosis-specific communities can sometimes become echo chambers. We’ll also share three psychological strategies to help you curate your feed, set information boundaries and protect the parts of your identity that have nothing to do with being unwell.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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39 min
Weaponising Competence
Season 1, Episode 130
Show notes
What happens when being capable starts being used as evidence that you’re not struggling?
In this episode, we’re talking about weaponising competence—what happens when your ability to work, parent, socialise, achieve, or simply get through the day is mistaken for proof that you’re doing fine. We explore the reality that you can be incredibly capable and completely overwhelmed; strong and exhausted; functioning and struggling.
Because competence tells us what someone accomplished, but it doesn’t tell us what it took to accomplish it.
We’ll unpack the hidden costs of chronic illness, the pressure to keep proving that you’re struggling, and why a good day, or a successful week, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly well. Plus, we share psychological strategies for separating your performance from your wellbeing, recognising the true cost of functioning, and embracing the power of “both/and” thinking.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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20 min
MS and Type 1 Diabetes: Rachel’s Voice
Season 1, Episode 129
Show notes
Today you are hearing from Rachel. Rachel was diagnosed with type one diabetes at age 19 in 1998, and after six years of searching for answers, she received a multiple sclerosis diagnosis in 2015. She also lives with an undiagnosed muscle condition that has affected her daily life for over a decade. In this episode, Rachel shares her journey through diagnosis, the emotional toll of chronic illness, and the lessons she's learnt about listening to her body, asking for help, and finding gratitude in the present moment. This is her story.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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38 min
Re-Release - Pets & Health: The Power of Companionship
Season 1, Episode 128
Show notes
Join us this week as we revisit a fun, heart-warming dive into the world of pets and the surprising ways they can boost our wellbeing - especially when living with a chronic health condition. From loyal dogs who get us out the door, to snuggly cats who know exactly when we need comfort, to fish, birds, and all the quirky critters in between, this episode explores why animals can make such a big difference to our daily lives.
Sally and Seona chat about the science behind companionship, the gentle motivation pets bring to move our bodies, and the small routines that help us feel grounded. They also keep it real, unpacking the less-fluffy side of pet ownership - the costs, the cleaning, and the challenges of caring for an animal when your own health is unpredictable.
Whether you’re a lifelong animal lover or pet-curious, this one’s for you!
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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35 min
Growing Up With Vision Loss: An Interview with Penny
Season 1, Episode 127
Show notes
Today you are hearing from Penny. Penny lives with retinitis pigmentosa, or RP, a genetic eye condition that causes progressive vision loss. She was diagnosed at 16 with the very same condition her mom has lived without-- with the very same condition her mom has lived with throughout her life.
In this conversation, Penny takes us back to the moment she first realized something wasn't quite right and what it was like receiving that diagnosis as a teenager while her twin sister was getting her driver's license and planning for the future. We talk about relationships, motherhood, and the very real decision of whether to have children, knowing they could inherit RP. Penny also shares what living with low vision actually looks like day to day, the constant mental load, and the things that other people often misunderstand. And we talk about Penny's mom and the influence that watching her live with RP had on how Penny came to understand and navigate her own disability. This is Penny's story. We hope you enjoy.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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36 min
How Do I Explain This Pain? When ‘0 to 10’ Just Isn’t Enough.
Season 1, Episode 126
Show notes
How do you explain pain when “it hurts” just doesn’t seem to cover it? In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most frustrating parts of living with chronic illness: trying to describe your pain to healthcare professionals. We unpack the difference between acute and chronic pain, why chronic pain can be so complex, and whether a 0–10 pain scale really tells the whole story.
We also introduce the Mankoski Pain Scale, which takes a different approach by looking at what pain actually stops you from doing. From burning, stabbing and electric pain to the hidden impact on sleep, work, relationships and everyday life, we explore why pain isn’t always visible—and why functioning doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not hurting. Plus, practical tips for communicating your pain more clearly at your next appointment.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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27 min
Finding My Way Back - Mel’s Voice
Season 1, Episode 125
Show notes
Today you are hearing from Mel. Mel lives with multiple sclerosis, and in this episode, she shares what the experience has looked like for her, particularly the first year after diagnosis, when so much about her life and her body suddenly felt uncertain. She talks about the fear and frustration that came with those early days, the changes that she had to adjust to, and the process of gradually finding her way forward. Mel also reflects on the things that have helped, the small wins that can mean so much when you're living with a chronic condition, and what it has taken to build a life alongside MS. There is so much in Mel's story that will feel familiar to anyone who has had to adjust to a body, a diagnosis, or a life that they didn't expect. This is Mel's voice.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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36 min
Are We Allowed to Have Fun When We’re Chronically Ill?
Season 1, Episode 124
Show notes
Can you be genuinely unwell and genuinely happy at the same time? Absolutely. But when you live with a chronic health condition, having fun can sometimes come with a surprising side order of guilt. Should you really be going out when you “should” be resting? Does a fantastic day somehow make your illness less real? And why can we feel like we need to look or behave sick to be believed?
In this episode, we unpack the complicated relationship between chronic illness, pleasure, identity and guilt. We talk about the post-fun crash, making space for joy within the realities of your body, and why fun isn't frivolous — it's part of living a meaningful life.
Because a good day doesn't cancel out your disability. And you don't have to earn the right to have fun.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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45 min
Complex Regional Pain Syndrome - Sacha’s story
Season 1, Episode 123
Show notes
Today you are hearing from Sacha.
In 2020, a workplace injury to her right hand and wrist set in motion a chain of events that would completely change her life.
What initially seemed like it might be a simple fracture or sprain eventually led to a diagnosis of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, or CRPS — a condition associated with severe and persistent pain.
Over the years that followed, Sacha's life became filled with appointments, surgeries, nerve blocks, ketamine infusions and rehabilitation — all while trying to navigate a healthcare system that, at times, left her feeling anything but heard and understood.
But as you'll hear, the hardest parts of Sacha's story aren't necessarily the medical ones.
She speaks incredibly honestly about grieving the life she once knew, living with pain that other people can't see, and the heartbreak of feeling like she can't always be the mum she imagined she would be to her daughter, Ivy.
Sacha's story is raw, honest and deeply human. It's about chronic pain, loss and adaptation, but also about what it means to feel genuinely seen and supported when life looks nothing like you thought it would.
So, with that, let's hand it over to Sacha.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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42 min
Re-Release - Slow It Down
Season 1, Episode 122
Show notes
This week, we revisit this episode of But You Look So Good where Sally and Seona dive into the necessity and benefits of embracing slow living. They share personal stories and reflections on how living intentionally can help navigate a fast-paced world, especially while managing a chronic condition. From setting boundaries and reducing stress to practicing gratitude and mindful habits, this episode offers practical tips to help you slow down, reclaim your energy, and create a more fulfilling, balanced life.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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26 min
Twenty and Everything Changed: Chloe’s Story
Season 1, Episode 121
Show notes
Chloe was just twenty years old when almost overnight, the life she knew changed. She woke up one morning and the world was spinning. Her vision was blurred. Her body wasn't doing what she had asked it to. And suddenly, at an age when you're supposed to be figuring out who you are, Chloe was trying to figure out what was happening to her body. What followed were months of appointments, tests, and uncertainty before she finally got answers. Chloe's story isn't just about diagnosis. It's about what happens when chronic illness arrives right at the beginning of adulthood. How do you navigate friendships, relationships, independence, and everything your twenties are supposed to hold when your body has suddenly changed the rules? With plenty of honesty and humour along the way, this is Chloe's voice.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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36 min
Overwhelmed much?
Season 1, Episode 120
Show notes
It can feel like we're carrying far more than our own lives right now.
There are wars unfolding across the world, political instability, economic uncertainty, the relentless cost of living, the rapid rise of AI changing the way we work and communicate, climate events, and a constant stream of breaking news designed to capture our attention.
For people living with chronic illness, all of that lands on top of an already full nervous system.
Today's episode is about recognising that feeling overwhelmed isn't a personal failing - it's often a very understandable response to living through extraordinarily uncertain times while managing the ongoing demands of chronic illness.
As always, we'll mix psychology with lived experience and a few laughs along the way.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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33 min
Having a child with a chronic health condition: An interview with Lainie
Season 1, Episode 119
Show notes
Today's guest is someone who knows firsthand what it means to support a child living with a chronic illness. Lainey is a mum of two daughters, and one of them, Samara, has faced more medical challenges in her almost 13 years than most people experience in a lifetime.
Born prematurely at 33 weeks with a complex heart condition, Samara's journey has included serious complications, multiple hospital admissions, life-saving treatment, and years of uncertainty. Alongside it all, Lainey has navigated the emotional reality of being not just a mum, but also an advocate, a carer, and the steady presence her family needed.
In this conversation, we talk about the invisible weight of caring, the decisions no parent ever expects to make, and what it means to hold both fear and hope at the same time.
Lainey shares her story with such honesty and warmth, and whether you're a parent, a carer, or simply someone who loves a person living with chronic illness, I think you'll find much that resonates.
This is Lainey's story. We hope you enjoy.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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36 min
Pathologising Normal
Season 1, Episode 118
Show notes
Have you ever cried in a medical appointment and felt like your emotions became the diagnosis? Living with a chronic illness brings real loss, uncertainty, fear and grief—and those emotions are often a healthy response to a difficult reality. In this episode, we explore how both healthcare professionals and society can sometimes mistake normal human reactions for depression or anxiety, and why that matters.
We discuss three common examples of emotional experiences being pathologized, the difference between understandable distress and mental illness, and why context is so important. We also talk about the other side of the conversation: when persistent or overwhelming emotions may signal that extra support is needed. It's an honest, compassionate discussion about validating emotions without dismissing the importance of mental health care.
Livology (Psychology - Private Practice)
MS: Get Your Head Around It! (Online Course)
But You’ll Be OK (Online Course)
If you need any support after listening to our podcast, you can contact Lifeline in Australia at 13 11 14, available 24/7. For support in other locations, please visit Befrienders Worldwide.
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