No Guilt Mom | Overcoming Mom Guilt, Mental Load & Parenting Tips for Moms

If you've ever felt the weight of the mental load and wondered why you feel like you've lost yourself since becoming a mom, this episode is for you.

Pediatrician Dr. Brian Temple has spent 20 years watching what happens to parents who have run out of capacity. Amanda Tice, a curve model, best-selling author and former TV journalist, has lived it. Together they co-host the podcast Between Pickups, and in this conversation they talk about identity loss, why kindergarten drop-off can hit harder than the newborn days, and how to start coming back to yourself without guilt.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why identity loss often hits hardest around kindergarten, not in the newborn months
• What a pediatrician sees when a mom is reaching her capacity
• Amanda's "affair with your old self," and why your hobby doesn't have to be meaningful to anyone but you
• Why adding something for yourself can make the rest of life feel lighter
• What changes when a mom gets away, and how to ask for the time without guilt

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Dr. Temple and Amanda's podcast, Between Pickups: https://www.betweenpickups.com
• Amanda's book, The New Mom Code: Shatter Expectations and Crush It at Motherhood
• Take things off your plate with the Happy Home Ladder
• Get support with other moms in the No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• JoAnn's book, The Best Mom is a Happy Mom
• More episodes on the No Guilt Mom podcast page

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If you've ever dealt with mom guilt after losing your cool and wondered why you can't stay calm with your ADHD kid, this episode is for you.

You get interrupted, your emotions go from zero to 100, and then the guilt shows up. In this solo episode, JoAnn shares how ADHD shaped her own childhood and parenting, why big emotional reactions are not a verdict on you as a mom, and how to start noticing your triggers so you can pause and repair.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why ADHD comes with an emotional component, and why a big reaction to criticism is not proof that you are a bad mom
• Why being pulled away from a project can drain your motivation, and how interest works as fuel for an ADHD brain
• Why you can't promise to always stay calm, but you can promise to notice your triggers and repair
• How to tell your family your triggers, and how to plan a pause for the situations that set you off
• A simple trick to stay present in a conversation when your attention wants to wander

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Happy Home Ladder, a cooperative family game where you work on one skill at a time
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• The No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• Vibe by Adam Grant
• The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
• The No Guilt Mom podcast page
• Follow and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow on Spotify

Some links above are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Thank you to T Town Homeschooler for the kind review! If this episode helped you, leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It only takes a minute and it helps other moms find the show.

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If you've ever felt the weight of the mental load and wondered why you always seem to do everything at home, this episode is for you.

You say yes to the plan, your partner says yes to the plan, and then somehow you are the one who is disappointed. Julia Dhar, a world champion debater and author of How Change Really Works, joins me to show you how to have the hard conversation without it turning into a fight. We talk about making a clear and specific request, why false agreement quietly builds resentment, and what to do when you catch yourself thinking "I thought you were going to."

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why anticipating a conflict feels so physical, and why most people say they feel relieved after the hard conversation
• How to make a clear and specific request instead of asking "can you help me?"
• The difference between false alignment and true agreement, and how true agreement lowers your mental load
• Why "I thought you were going to" is an early warning sign that your expectations and theirs are out of step
• The "I don't care / I care a lot" technique for letting small things go without losing yourself

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• How Change Really Works by Julia Dhar
• Happy Home Ladder
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• https://www.noguiltmom.com

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If you've ever felt the weight of the mental load and wondered why you keep doing everything yourself, even when you're exhausted, this episode is for you.

You're not tired from the tasks on your plate. You're tired from the parts of the job nobody can see: the noticing before and the checking after. In this episode, I share the research behind that invisible work, a few of my own stories (including moments where I got it wrong), and a simple way to hand over the whole job, not just one more task.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the heaviest part of your load is the part nobody can see
• The four stages of every household job and which ones moms tend to hold
• What I call the default loop, and why it keeps you doing it all
• Why taking a job back costs you more than it saves (my holiday gift-wrapping story)
• How to hand over the whole job this week, and why their frustration is part of the learning

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Happy Home Ladder: a cooperative family game that does the asking for you
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom
• Tell me which job you're handing off: @noguiltmom on Instagram

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If you've ever felt the weight of the mental load and wondered why you're the only one who notices what needs to be done around the house, this episode is for you.

Sam Kelly, author of Notice and Do, joins me to talk about the moment she realized she was teaching her kids to rely on her for all the noticing, just like her husband had. We talk about the rage that comes with carrying the mental load, why a chore system only gets you half of the way there, and how to hand over ownership without hovering.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why noticing is a teachable skill, just like brushing your teeth or tying your shoes
• How to turn grief and rage about the mental load into fuel for change
• What the Big Three and learning ladders are, and how they give kids real ownership
• Why a chore chart relies on you to do all the noticing and delegating, and what to do instead
• How pre-existing motivators work for strong-willed and ADHD kids, and why the pushback is temporary

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Notice and Do: Raise Capable Kids, End Motherhood Burnout, and Lighten Your Mental Load by Sam Kelly
• Sam Kelly's website
• Sam Kelly on Instagram (@samkelly_world)
• Happy Home Ladder
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• No Guilt Mom podcast page

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If you've ever felt mom guilt after yelling and wondered why you yell at the same time every day, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

Your yelling probably has a timestamp, and that does not mean something is wrong with you. I share three stories, from a childhood kitchen sink to a 5 p.m. toddler "no" to a 10 p.m. bedtime request, and walk you through why your yelling window happens and the smallest possible plan for changing it.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why you tend to yell at the same moment almost every day, and why that makes it a pattern instead of a character flaw
• The sequence behind a yelling moment: the trigger, the feeling, and the sentence your brain adds a half second later
• Why the belief that your kid did it on purpose fuels anger, and how to start rewriting that sentence when you are calm
• How to make an if-then plan that says what you will do instead of what you are trying to stop
• Why you don't need more patience in your yelling window, you need a plan

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Happy Home Ladder: a simple cooperative family game so you don't have to ask daily
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• The No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• Follow the show on Spotify

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New here? Start with our Start Here playlist, five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

If you've ever felt the weight of the mental load and wondered why you pass your own stress onto your kids without meaning to, this episode is for you.

Ever wonder why your reaction to something small, like your kid not eating dinner, feels way bigger than the moment itself? In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Edith Shiro, author of The Unexpected Gift of Trauma, breaks down how stress and trauma pass from parent to child without either of you realizing it, and what you can actually do to interrupt the cycle.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to tell when your reaction to your kid is really about something from your own past
• A 5-minute script to repair with your child after you react in a way you're not proud of
• Why validating your child's feelings, even before you set a limit, makes discipline actually work
• How to handle a teenager's rejection without taking it personally
• What to say when your child is being bullied, or is the one doing the bullying

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Dr. Edith Shiro's website
• The Unexpected Gift of Trauma by Dr. Edith Shiro
• Dr. Edith Shiro on Instagram
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• The Happy Mom Reset, a free class

Ready to stop the yelling and guilt cycle in your own home? Grab your spot in The Happy Mom Reset.

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If you've ever struggled with mom guilt and wondered why you're so hard on yourself as a mom, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

That harsh voice in your head may not be yours. Bestselling author and relationship coach Sabrina Bendory joins JoAnn to explain the mother wound, the role you learned to play as a child, and how both show up in your relationships and your parenting. You'll also hear what to say to your child after you've yelled, and why your child's neediness can stir up feelings that have nothing to do with them.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the mother wound is, in plain terms, and why it shapes how you treat yourself
• Why two things can be true: your mother did her best and your needs still weren't met
• How the "role self" you built as a child to feel safe still runs your adult relationships
• Why your child's needs can trigger anger, and the grief that may be underneath it
• A simple repair after you yell: "That was not your fault"

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Happy Home Ladder
• The Feminine Code by Sabrina Bendory
• Detached by Sabrina Bendory
• You Will Be OK podcast on Instagram
• Sabrina Bendory on Instagram
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (book mentioned in the episode)

Thank you to our sponsors!

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If you've ever dealt with mom guilt after losing your cool with your husband and wondered why you get so mad at him over little things, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

Author Jackie Kelley and her husband run their marriage on a set of rules they made up themselves, and her new book, So You Married a Human, comes out today. In this honest and funny conversation, Jackie and JoAnn trade stories about passive aggression, shared-space chaos, and the unrealistic expectations so many of us carry into marriage.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why "use your words" became Jackie's first marriage rule, and how to say what hurt you without slamming cabinets and hoping he notices
• The "you also suck a bunch" rule, and how to tell which little annoyances are worth letting go
• How the "wait for it" rule helps a fast emotional processor and a slow one talk without a fight
• Why so many fights come from mismatched expectations, and the questions to ask before the dinner, the party, or the holiday gift budget
• Why rules written for marriage also work with kids, coworkers, and in-laws

Resources mentioned in this episode

• Jackie Kelley on Instagram: @stayathomejackie
• Jackie's book, So You Married a Human (out October 6, 2026)
• The Happy Mom Reset (free class)
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• JoAnn's book: The Best Mom is a Happy Mom
• No Guilt Mom Podcast page

Thank you to our Sponsors!

Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/omnin6le #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement, for the Sutton debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton and for the Bancorp debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp. Savings and Offers provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Offers may not be affiliated with third party merchants.

Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6-12.

Cash App will pass through a portion of the interest paid on your savings balance held in an account for the benefit of Cash App customers at Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., Member FDIC. To earn interest on your Cash App savings balance, you need to have sponsor approval. Exceptions may apply. Savings yield rate is subject to change. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

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New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

If you've ever tried gentle parenting and still wondered what to do when your kid says shut up to you, this episode is for you.

When your kid tells you to shut up, your face gets hot and your brain can go blank. In this solo episode, I explain what is usually going on underneath those words and walk you through five calm steps for kids third grade and up, plus an easy adjustment for younger kids. You'll also hear why your own triggers matter and why you deserve the same pause you give your kids.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why "shut up" usually means overwhelm or a need for more say, not disrespect
• The question that gets you further than "what do I do?": what happened right before
• Five calm steps for kids third grade and up: let the shock land, get quiet and don't tower, name it and leave, take the time you need, and come back to repair
• How to adjust for younger kids with a simple "I need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back"
• How to work with your own triggers and why you deserve a tap out

Resources mentioned in this episode

• The Happy Home Ladder
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom
• Penn State study on harsh parenting and children's stress regulation
• Laura Markham on parenting triggers (Today's Parent)
• No Guilt Mom on Instagram (share your strategy on the five steps post)
• https://www.noguiltmom.com
• Follow the podcast on Spotify
• Subscribe on Apple Podcasts

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New here? Start with our Start Here playlist, five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

You validate your kid's feelings. You explain the reasoning behind every rule. And your kid still melts down anyway. Child development specialist and author Dr. Siggie Cohen joins JoAnn to explain the missing piece: why kids speak the language of emotion while parents default to logic, and exactly what to say when bedtime, screens, or "get ready" turns into a nightly fight.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why explaining the "why" behind a boundary doesn't get your kid to comply
• The real reason "how many times do I have to tell you" backfires every time
• How to validate your kid's feelings without caving to what they want
• The exact language to use during transitions like bedtime and screen time
• Why staying calm and confident, not permissive, is what actually helps your kid through a meltdown

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• You Are the Parent by Dr. Siggie Cohen
• The Happy Mom Reset (free class)

Ready to feel calmer and more confident in your parenting? Join us for the free Happy Mom Reset class.

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If you're carrying the mental load and wondering how to stop being the default parent, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

Nobody sits down and decides to become the default parent. It happens one "I'll just grab it" at a time. In this solo episode, I share the seven rules I follow so I'm not the default parent in my house, from the "go ask Dad" rule I started when my kids were little to the overflowing trash I refuse to take out.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why being the default parent is a set of habits, not a personality trait
• How to end the "I do everything" fight by seeing the real split in your house
• Why doing your partner's jobs to be nice backfires, and what to say instead
• The simple "go ask Dad" rule that retrains your kids
• Why "it's just easier if I do it" is a trap, and how to let your partner do it his way

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Home Responsibility Calculator (free): see the real split in your house
• Skylight Calendar: $30 off the 15-inch calendar #ad #sponsored
• The Fair Play Deck by Eve Rodsky
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• No Guilt Mom on Instagram: come tell me your calculator results

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New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

If you've ever struggled with people pleasing and wondered why you put everyone else's needs before your own even when it's costing you, this episode is for you.

Psychotherapist Jessica Anne Pressler joins JoAnn to talk about self-abandonment, the pattern of putting everyone else first until you disappear from your own life. They dig into where it starts in childhood, how it shows up as people pleasing and trauma bonding in adult relationships, and how to finally start trusting yourself again.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What self-abandonment actually means, and why most moms do it without realizing it
• Why your kids learn more from watching you take care of yourself than from anything you tell them
• What a trauma bond is and why it can feel like an addiction
• The gray rock method for dealing with someone who wants a reaction from you
• A simple script for talking back to the inner voice that keeps you stuck (Jessica calls it "the traitor within")

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Jessica Anne Pressler on Instagram
• Jessica's novel, Traitor Within, out now
• The Happy Home Ladder
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Happy Mom Reset (free class)
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom (JoAnn's book)
• No Guilt Mom podcast page
• Listen on Apple Podcasts
• Listen on Spotify
• No Guilt Mom on Instagram
• No Guilt Mom on YouTube

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If gentle parenting has you wanting to back your daughter up without shaking things up at school, but you're stuck on why she keeps getting dress coded in the first place, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

JoAnn goes solo this week on a topic she's been sitting with since her own middle school uniform battles: dress codes, and why they land so much harder on girls than boys. She pulls the research on where dress codes actually came from, what "self-objectification" does to a girl's brain and test scores, and ties it directly into this week's Sydney Sweeney ad backlash. Then she gives you the exact conversation to have with your daughter the next time she comes home dress coded.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why dress codes were never really about safety, and where they actually came from
• The research showing it's girls' bodies, not their behavior, that dress codes target
• What "self-objectification" is, and how it can measurably lower a girl's test performance
• Exactly what to say (and not say) when your daughter comes home dress coded
• How to help her decide whether to comply or push back, in her own words

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Happy Home Ladder — our family cooperation system
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• No Guilt Mom website
• No Guilt Mom on Instagram

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If you've ever dealt with mom burnout and wondered why you can't stop giving until there's nothing left, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

Therapist Dr. Julie Merriman joins the podcast to talk about why so many moms quietly minimize themselves until they're running on empty, and why the idea that "you can't give from an empty cup" is actually a myth, because we do it all the time. We get into little T trauma, why your worth might be tied to productivity, and Julie's five-step framework for coming back to yourself after burnout.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why moms give until they hit "empty cup" burnout, and why the belief that you can't give from empty isn't true
• What "little T trauma" is and why almost everyone has some, even without a dramatic backstory
• Julie's five-step framework for recovering from burnout: reflection, a nervous system inventory, a reappearance checklist, a self-return ritual, and daily affirmations
• A simple full-body-scan technique to check in with your nervous system in under a minute
• Why tying your worth to productivity makes it impossible to just sit and relax

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Happy Home Ladder — No Guilt Mom's family cooperation system
• Dr. Julie Merriman's website
• Julie's free Desire Reset Guide
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• No Guilt Mom Podcast page
• No Guilt Mom on Instagram

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If you've ever felt the mental load of work follow you home and wondered why you can't turn your brain off the second you walk in the door, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our Start Here playlist — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

You close the laptop, but your brain doesn't get the memo. In this episode, JoAnn breaks down the real research on why work stress follows you home (and why home stress follows you to work), and gives you three small, doable rituals you can try tonight to actually make the switch.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why "boundary theory" research says your brain needs an actual ritual to switch roles, not just willpower
• Why remote and hybrid workers report 20% higher burnout, and what's missing from the workday that used to fix this for free
• What a real diary study of 166 employees found is the single strongest predictor of recovering from a stressful workday
• Three simple scripts you can use tonight: naming your feeling, noticing and asking what's up, and picking your family's one thing
• How the Happy Home Ladder turns these skills into something your whole family builds together, not just you

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Get the Happy Home Ladder
• When Work Stress Hijacks Your Home: Stop Ruminating and Get Your Patience Back with Guy Winch
• Why You Negotiate Better at Work Than at Home (And How to Change That) with Attia Qureshi
• The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom (book)
• Follow No Guilt Mom on Instagram
• Listen on Apple Podcasts
• Listen on Spotify

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/ngm or use code NGM and get 70% off your first year!

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If you've ever dealt with mom guilt and wondered why you can't stop replaying the same mistake in your head long after it happened, this episode is for you. Explore practical tools for managing mom guilt and the mental load using gentle parenting principles and a proven self-forgiveness method with Dr. Dravon James.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

Dr. Dravon James, founder of Everyday Peace and author of Forgiveness: A Pathway to Happiness, joins JoAnn to talk about why self-forgiveness is so much harder for moms than forgiving anyone else. They walk through Dravon's three-step practice for actually letting go of the mistakes you keep carrying, plus the exact language to use with yourself when you mess up.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why holding onto guilt doesn't actually protect you from making the same mistake again
• The three-step self-forgiveness practice: reflect on self-criticism, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and release the memory's hold
• The difference between accepting what happened and excusing it
• The "sandwich technique" for saying "I forgive you" to yourself without it feeling forced
• Why treating yourself the way you'd treat your own middle schooler changes everything

Ready to stop doing everything and start doing what actually matters? Grab JoAnn's free Stop Doing Checklist.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Dr. Dravon James's website
• Dr. Dravon James on Instagram
• Dr. Dravon James on Facebook
• Grab the free Stop Doing Checklist
• Join the No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom (JoAnn's book)

Thank you to our sponsors!

Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/omnin6le #CashAppPod

Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A.Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement, for the Sutton debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton and for the Bancorp debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp. Savings and Offers provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Offers may not be affiliated with third party merchants.

Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6-12.

Cash App will pass through a portion of the interest paid on your savings balance held in an account for the benefit of Cash App customers at Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., Member FDIC. To earn interest on your Cash App savings balance, you need to have sponsor approval. Exceptions may apply. Savings yield rate is subject to change. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/ngm or use code NGM and get 70% off your first year!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom guilt has a source—and it's not your parenting. JoAnn busts the five biggest "good mom" myths that convince you you're failing, even when you're doing your best.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

JoAnn shares the day she screamed at a wall (and cowered her own kids) to name the perfectionism baked into modern motherhood. Then she busts the five biggest "good mom" myths, the ones telling you that missing the game, serving chicken nuggets again, losing your temper, taking time for yourself, or your kid's report card all mean you're failing. Spoiler: none of them do.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why missing your kid's activity can actually be good for them (and what the research on over-involved parents really shows)
• Why your picky eater isn't a reflection of your cooking, and the biology behind food neophobia
• The exact repair script to use after you lose your temper, and why the repair matters more than the rupture
• Why taking time for yourself is an investment in your kid, not a theft from them
• Why your kid's school performance predicts nothing about who they'll become

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom (book)
• Calm & Happy Parenting Cohort

Thank you to our sponsors!

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to ⁠https://heypolo.com/ngm ⁠or use code NGM and get 70% off your first year!

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If you have tried gentle parenting and still feel like nothing works with your strong-willed child, this episode is for you.

New to the show? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠.

Wendy Snyder was three years into motherhood, home with a colicky newborn and a three-year-old who got sent home from preschool on repeat, when she walked past a flyer for a free positive parenting class and took it as a sign. Fifteen years later, that same strong-willed daughter is a Division I beach volleyball player at a top ten school.

In this conversation, Wendy and JoAnn get into why the strong will you are fighting is the exact trait that will carry your kid, and what has to shift in you first before any strategy will work.

In this episode, you'll learn

• Why punishment, timeouts and "break their will early" advice backfire hardest on the kids they are aimed at
• The difference between a kid who is born strong-willed and a mild kid moving through a power surge season
• What autocratic parenting actually is, and why almost all of us absorbed some of it
• How releasing control over homework and grades produced a self-motivated straight A kid
• One tactical swap you can make today: replacing compliance statements with choices

Resources mentioned in this episode

• Fresh Start Your Family: Powerful Parenting to Restore Peace in Your Home by Wendy Snyder
• Fresh Start Family
• Race to Nowhere, the documentary Wendy recommends for every public school parent
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, source of the subway story
• The 3 in 30 Podcast with Rachel Nielson, who introduced JoAnn and Wendy
• The Happy Mom Reset, our free class
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn

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If you've ever struggled with letting go of control and wondered why sending your kid off to college (or even just watching them grow up) feels so scary, this episode is for you.

New here? Start with our ⁠Start Here playlist⁠ — five episodes that will change how you think about motherhood.

This episode released on the actual day JoAnn flew to New York to drop her firstborn off at college. Instead of a highlight reel of the trip, she's sharing the real research and the real mindset shifts that got her here, including one she wishes every parent heard well before senior year.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the "secure base" concept from attachment theory means being your kid's biggest fan instead of their director, and why that actually makes your relationship stronger, not weaker
• What overcontrol dressed up as care looks like right now (grade portals, dorm housekeepers, and more) and why it does more harm than good
• The real research on empty nest syndrome, and why it's not what most parents assume
• A personal story about backing off when her daughter said she hugged her too much, and what happened to their relationship afterward
• Why letting your kid struggle a little now builds the strength they'll need later (yes, there's a science experiment involved)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Why Your Teenager Suddenly Can't Stand You (and Why That's a Good Sign) - episode on Emotional Distancing
• The Happy Mom Reset (Live Class, September 17)
• "Notice and Do" by Sam Kelly (pre-order)
• No Guilt Mom Inner Circle
• The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
• Follow No Guilt Mom on Instagram

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