Podcast
Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships.
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- Mental Health chart
- #189
- Episodes
- 621
- Releases
- Twice a week
- Typical length
- 45 min
- On air since
- 2014
- Latest episode
- 1 day ago
Episodes
621 episodes, newest first
-
48 min
Help! I am a Double Pursuer or Double Withdrawer. Understanding the Hidden Patterns of Emotional & Sexual Cycles
Show notes
Why do so many couples feel like they are constantly speaking two different relational languages, especially when switching between emotional discussions and physical intimacy?
When partners occupy the same role, either as a double pursuer or a double withdrawer, across both emotional and sexual domains, it can amplify feelings of disconnection and mutual exhaustion. In this episode, we talk about unpacking these overlapping dynamics to replace reflexive blame with genuine curiosity, vulnerability, and grounded connection.
Main Talking Points:
•
Dual Dynamic Overlap
•
Empathy Bridge Gaps
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Sexual Cycle Triggers
•
Responsive Desire Shifts
•
Curiosity Over Judgment
•
Regulated Disengagement Timing
True relational intimacy doesn't require moving at the same baseline pace; it relies on the shared willingness to slow down, listen beneath protective reactions, and appreciate the underlying bid for connection.
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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16 min
Navigating Grief and Loss During The Holidays
Show notes
Check out Thrive's Grief Group
Try Relationship Academy for Free
Get the opportunity to meet other grievers
Get education on how grief presents during the holiday season, prompts to explore your own grief experience, tangible tools for integrating grief during the holidays
An activity would be creating your own holiday grief web - helping clients create a visual representation and understanding of how the death of a loved one creates many other grief experiences that change the way we approach the holidays
Best suited for clients who have experienced the death of a loved one and may be feeling nervous about the upcoming holiday season or those wanting more tools to better navigate the holidays without a loved one.
Takeaways - gaining an understanding of how and why grief can be intensified during the holidays. Walk away with tools for integrating grief and your loved one into your holiday plans experience. Gaining confidence to create a plan for the holidays that best suits wherever clients are in their personal grief journey.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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30 min
A Better Way To Money
Show notes
Find more episodes of A Better Way To Money.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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56 min
How to Identify & Heal From Toxic Abusive Relationships (TAR) with Dr. Jamie Star
Show notes
How do you distinguish between standard relational friction and a truly toxic, abusive environment?
In this episode, Colter Bloxom and Cayla Bozovich sit down with Dr. Jamie Star, founder of the STAR Network, to unpack the critical differences between a partner's protective moves in a negative cycle and characterological patterns of abuse. Dr. Jamie shares his personal journey through relational trauma, breaks down how childhood attachment styles shape codependency, and offers a path toward reclaiming safety. By shifting focus away from diagnosing a partner and toward trusting your body's somatic wisdom, this conversation helps you replace blame and confusion with internal clarity and grounded boundaries.
Main Talking Points:
• Differentiating Relational Cycles
• Defining Toxic Dynamics
• Unpacking Childhood Trauma
• Trusting Somatic Signals
• Reparenting Through Consistency
• Regulating Emotional Safety
Healing from relational trauma isn't about fixing an unresponsive partner; it's about anchored self-awareness and cultivating environments where you feel consistently safe, seen, and supported. True recovery begins when you stop looking outward for validation and begin honoring your own internal boundaries.
Connect with Dr. Jamie Star:
Dr. Jamie Star's Website: https://drjamie.com
STAR Network:'s Website: https://starnetwork.org
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us areview in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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49 min
You Don’t See What I’m Carrying
Show notes
How often do we judge a partner’s apparent inaction while feeling entirely overwhelmed by our own stress?
When everyday household friction erupts into an argument, the conflict is rarely about time management—it is a cry to have our unseen emotional burdens recognized. In this episode, we unpack the hidden internal loads partners carry and explore how shifting from quick assumptions to compassionate curiosity transforms relational strain into deep connection.
Main Talking Points:
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Uncovering Invisible Emotional Loads
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Assessing Individual Daily Capacity
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Replacing Assumptions With Curiosity
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Validating Unseen Relational Strain
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Respecting Varying Nervous Capacities
•
Connecting Beyond Full Understanding
You do not need to fully comprehend every detail of your partner's internal struggle to offer meaningful relief. Relational safety grows the moment you pause, validate their experience, and acknowledge the weight in each other's backpacks.
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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25 min
The Passion Triangle with Dr. Cheryl: QUICK ADVICE
Show notes
Click here to sign up for Relationship Academy
Ready for the next step? Choose your Passion Masterclass time and learn how to bring more connection, intimacy, and passion back into your relationship:
https://drcherylfraser.mykajabi.com/masterclass
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57 min
The Difference Between Being Loved and Being Liked with Jonathan Van Viegen
Show notes
Can a marriage survive when love remains, but genuine likability has eroded?
In this episode, marriage and family therapist and author Jonathan Van Viegen joins us to explore why restoring mutual likability matters far more than obsessing over chore division or endless interrogation. We unpack how shifting from scarcity-driven "needs" to open "wants"—and balancing radical maturity with forgiveness—can transform relational injuries into lasting connection.
Main Talking Points:
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Loving Versus Liking
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Curiosity Over Resentment
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Radical Behavioral Maturity
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Navigating Forgiveness Journeys
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Eliminating "Why" Interrogations
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Reframing Needs To Wants
Rebuilding a thriving partnership isn't about perfection or scorekeeping; it's about showing up with the willingness to choose each other every day. Real connection unfolds when you trade defensive interrogation for curiosity and work together toward mutual abundance.
Connect with Jonathan Van Viegen:
Jonathan Van Viegen’s Book: Choosing Us https://jonathanvanviegen.com/book
Jonathan Van Viegen's Website: https://jonathanvanviegen.com
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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24 min
Finding The One? Try Becoming The One: QUICK ADVICE with Monica Berg
Show notes
Join our live coaching call tomorrow at 3pm EST for Relationship Advice listeners!
Click here to sign up.Today is the last day to get in at the founders rate!
Check out Monica's Masterclass
•
Stop trying to “find the one” — focus on becoming the one.
A strong relationship starts with knowing yourself: your values, purpose, patterns, and who you want to become. The danger is expecting a partner or marriage to somehow complete your growth for you.•
The right relationship should help you become more yourself, not less.
Monica’s Michelangelo vs. Golem distinction is probably the strongest concept in the episode: a healthy partner helps reveal a version of you that you also want to become. An unhealthy dynamic tries to sculpt you into the person they want you to be.•
Relationship satisfaction has a lot to do with how we interpret our partner.
Early on, we naturally magnify the positive; later, we can start magnifying the negative. Healthy relationships require intentionally cultivating appreciation, challenging our assumptions, and reframing what’s happening instead of automatically concluding, “My partner is the problem.”Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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51 min
The Fight Is Not About The Fight
Show notes
Why do small everyday annoyances so easily turn into explosive arguments?
When couples get stuck in repetitive friction, the surface issue is rarely the real battleground. In this episode, we explore how superficial conflicts actually point to deeper emotional needs, and how stepping back allows you to move from defensive cycles into genuine connection.
Main Talking Points:
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Underlying Relational Drivers
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Power And Control
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Closeness And Care
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Respect And Recognition
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Window Of Tolerance
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Intention Versus Impact
True relational resolution isn't about winning an argument over surface logistics, but about creating enough safety to understand what is truly being triggered. When you look past the immediate friction, every conflict becomes an opportunity to deepen trust and mutual care.
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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58 min
Why You Keep Having the Same Sex feat. Laurie Watson
Show notes
Why do so many couples find themselves stuck repeating the same awkward sexual patterns or avoiding physical intimacy altogether?
True sexual connection isn't about forced perfection or quick mechanical fixes, but about building attachment security and communicating openly about your erotic mind. In this episode, Dr. Laurie Watson unpacks how to navigate desire discrepancies, tolerate vulnerability, and reframe sexual friction into deeper relational safety.
Main Talking Points:
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Sex Therapy Beyond Mechanics
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Tolerating Awkward Intimacy
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Attachment In The Bedroom
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Individuation Fueling Erotic Energy
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Managing Desire Discrepancies
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Debunking Common Sex Myths
Great sex doesn't require flawless performance, but rather the courage to tolerate anxiety, honor differences, and stay curious about one another. When you turn sexual friction into honest dialogue, awkwardness becomes a doorway to genuine connection.
Visit Dr. Laurie Watson's Website:https://www.lauriewatson.com
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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28 min
Why You Keep Dating The Same Person In A Different Body: Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown
Show notes
Join Relationship Academy today for a complementary 1:1 with one of the hosts!
Right now, buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/RELATIONSHIP
• We often repeat the same relationship pattern with different people because familiar pain can feel safer than uncertainty.
• Noticing the pattern is the beginning of change—but lasting growth requires identifying the unmet need behind it.
• The “erotic emotional map” helps reveal recurring dynamics by describing the qualities of past relationships.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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45 min
Stop Taking Your Partner's Feelings Personally
Show notes
When your partner walks through the door in a bad mood, do you immediately wonder what you did wrong or rush to fix it?
Taking your partner's emotions personally turns their everyday stress into relational friction, forcing them to manage your reaction on top of their own feelings. In this episode, we unpack the shift from carrying emotional responsibility to offering true empathy, giving both of you permission to feel.
Main Talking Points:
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Personalizing Versus Empathy
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Unpacking Emotional Responsibility
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Breaking Fixing Cycles
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Tolerating Partner Discomfort
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Reducing Emotion Layers
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Frameworks Over Scripts
Secure relationships aren't built on avoiding uncomfortable feelings, but on cultivating the capacity to tolerate and hold space for them together. Real connection happens when you allow feelings to be felt without making them about you.
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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18 min
Quick Advice: HALT
Show notes
Get The Founders Rate For Relationship Academy
Get $100 off Spark My Relationship
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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46 min
What Happens When We Betray Ourselves With Jessica Pressler
Show notes
Why do we so often find ourselves repeating the same painful relational patterns even after promising to choose differently?
In this episode, therapist and author Jessica Anne Pressler joins us to unpack how early protective survival strategies can evolve into adult self-sabotage. By shifting our attention from dissecting a partner's flaws to understanding our own internal boundaries, we move away from reflexive self-abandonment and step toward deep self-compassion and relational security.
Main Talking Points:
• Unpacking Internal Self-Sabotage
• Reframing Childhood Coping Mechanisms
• Navigating Narcissistic Relationship Dynamics
• Overcoming Relational Self-Abandonment
• Cultivating Deep Self-Awareness
• Integrating Protective Inner PartsHealing begins not by fighting the parts of us that try to keep us safe, but by offering them the self-compassion and internal leadership they were always looking for.
Connect with Jessica Anne Pressler:
Jessica Anne Pressler's Website: https://www.jessicaannepressler.com/
Jessica Anne Pressler's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaannepressler
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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26 min
Why Anxious And Avoidant Attachment Styles Aren't Red Flags with Dr. Diane Heller
Show notes
Join us in Relationship Academy to continue the conversation!
7 day free trial and then get the founders rate of $25/month
Take Dr. Heller's Free Attachment Quiz
Clean out your closet by downloading VINTED for free!
In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter talks with Dr. Diane Heller about anxious, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized attachment patterns. They explore why these patterns are often intelligent survival strategies—not character flaws or relationship “red flags”—and how early relational wounds can shape the way people experience closeness, conflict, and love. Dr. Heller explains that everyone has an innate capacity for secure attachment and that understanding these patterns can help partners respond with more compassion instead of blame.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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52 min
How Neurodivergence Plays a Role In Relationships
Show notes
When everyday friction is automatically read as a lack of effort or affection, couples often get trapped in painful, defensive loops. How do we move away from assigning negative intent and toward honoring the literal differences in how our brains process the world?
In this episode, we unpack how neurodivergent traits—like executive dysfunction and sensory processing differences—can show up in relationships, and how framing these realities through the lens of individuation creates a path toward genuine safety and collaborative connection.
Main Talking Points:
• Executive Functioning Differences
• Cognitive Processing Variances
• Sensory Profile Mismatches
• Interoceptive Sensation Nuances
• Mono Tropism Rigidity
• Unmasking Relational SafetyThe goal isn't to force a single, shared reality onto two different minds, but to build enough safety and curiosity to accommodate the unique ways you both navigate the world.
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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18 min
Stop Saying "I Feel Bad"
Show notes
Join us in Relationship Academy to continue the conversation!
7 day free trial and then get the founders rate of $25/month
In this episode of Quick Advice, Colter and Cayla jump into why one partner might just say "I feel bad" rather than tapping into the emotion they are actually feeling. It can be frustrating for both partner! Let's discuss.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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59 min
How to Use Practical Intuition to Transform Your Relationships with Laura Day
Show notes
How often do we stay trapped in repetitive relational friction, assuming the answers lie entirely within our overthinking minds?
In this episode, author and intuitive consultant Laura Day joins the show to demystify intuition as a grounded, practical tool for human connection. We explore how moving away from protective internal loops toward actionable, embodied behavior can rewire our relational dynamics and build deep, mutual clarity.
Main Talking Points:
• Demystifying Everyday Intuitive Data
• Rewiring Relational Trauma Patterns
• Goal-Driven Non-Local Communication
• Embodied Action Over Overthinking
• Cultivating Mutual Relational Value
• Redirecting Unproductive Internal DialogueTrue connection does not require managing another person's reactions; it unfolds when we ground ourselves in actionable clarity and let concrete experience reshape how we relate.
Laura Day's Website: https://lauraday.com/
Laura Day's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauradayintuit
Laura Day's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/LauraDayCircle
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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26 min
Why Saying the Right Things Still Feels Wrong - QUICK ADVICE with Dr. Sue Morter
Show notes
TRY RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY FOR FREE
Let's discuss why energy feels off and why saying the right thing doesn't always lead to the outcomes we want.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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56 min
Why Couples Stop Having Sex (And How to Fix It) with George Faller
Show notes
Why do couples so often fall into standoffs where one partner needs emotional closeness to feel physical desire, while the other needs physical touch to feel emotionally open?
In this episode, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) trainer and author George Faller joins us to unpack how stress, polyvagal state shifts, and distinct attachment cycles govern relational dynamics. By learning to slow down protective reactions, partners can reframe relational friction into a doorway for true emotional and physical intimacy.
Main Talking Points:
• Navigating High-Stress Trauma
• Polyvagal Brain States
• Intersecting Attachment Cycles
• Decoupling Relational Brakes
• The Crisscross Pattern
• Externalizing Negative CyclesIntimacy is not about eliminating relational friction, but about creating enough safety to reveal the deeper longings hidden beneath protective defenses. When partners slow down and face these cycles together, the body and heart naturally return to connection.
George Faller's Website: https://www.georgefaller.com/
George Faller's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fallergeorge
Give Me Discounts!
Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!
Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order.
*If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://megaphone.fm/adchoices
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