Resiliently Rising: Healing After Betrayal Trauma

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and connection, but when you're navigating betrayal trauma, they can bring up grief, anxiety, and the pressure to pretend everything is okay.

In this episode, Carrie and David share their personal experiences of navigating painful holiday seasons and explore why this time of year can feel especially difficult after betrayal. They discuss family dynamics, managing expectations, setting boundaries, and the responsibility of the betraying partner to show up with greater presence and support.

Whether this is your first holiday season after betrayal or you've been navigating this for years, this episode offers practical ways to honor your capacity, make room for both grief and joy, and give yourself permission to experience the holidays differently this year.

Connect with Carrie:

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🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

In this What You're Wondering episode, David and Carrie explore what makes betrayal trauma different and why healing involves so much more than learning to trust your partner again. They share their own experiences with deception, gaslighting, self-doubt, and the grief of realizing the relationship you believed you had wasn't what you thought it was.

Because trauma isn't a competition. Different experiences create different wounds, and understanding what was injured is an important part of knowing what you need to heal.

In this episode, we explore:

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Why betrayal creates a unique injury to attachment and safety

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How gaslighting and deception can undermine your trust in yourself

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Why betrayal can change the way you remember your past

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The connection between betrayal, shame, and feeling like you're not enough

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How to rebuild self-trust without needing constant certainty

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What the person who caused the betrayal needs to understand about healing

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Grieving the marriage you thought you had while deciding what comes next

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

After betrayal, it can feel like everyone has an opinion about what you should do. Stay. Leave. Forgive. Give them another chance. Between family, friends, faith communities, therapists, and social media, all those outside voices can make it even harder to hear your own.

In this solo episode, Carrie talks about why other people's opinions can feel so overwhelming after betrayal trauma, especially when your ability to trust yourself has already been shaken. She explores the pressure to make the "right" decision, the difference between receiving support and giving away your agency, and how to begin reconnecting with your own needs, values, and inner knowing.

Whether you're considering staying, leaving, rebuilding, or simply don't know yet, this episode is a reminder that you can listen to others without letting them make your decisions for you. You don't have to have all the answers today, and someone else's story doesn't have to become the instructions for yours.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

What is the connection between ADHD and compulsive sexual behavior—and where does understanding end and accountability begin?

In this episode, Carrie sits down with Monifa Ellis-Addie to explore how traits associated with ADHD, including impulsivity, novelty seeking, reward sensitivity, executive functioning challenges, and emotional regulation, can intersect with compulsive sexual behavior and recovery. They also discuss why understanding what is happening underneath the behavior does not excuse betrayal or erase its impact on a partner.

This conversation offers a more nuanced look at recovery—one that makes room for compassion, appropriate ADHD support, accountability, and the deeper work required to create lasting change.

Connect with Monifa:

📲 Website

🌿ADHD Treatment Guide

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmLifeSupplements Code CARRIEJEAN10 saves you 10%

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

Do you keep "ruining" the good moments with your partner, pulling away, checking, or bracing just when things start to feel close? In this episode, Carrie explains why what betrayed partners call self-sabotage is almost always protection: a pattern the nervous system learned from real experience to keep you from being blindsided again. Carrie and David walk through how that protection forms, when it crosses from adaptive to maladaptive, and how to work with it instead of fighting it. David also names why the betrayer's defensiveness isn't the same kind of protection, and what actually helped Carrie's protection learn it could rest.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

What actually happens in somatic coaching after betrayal trauma?

In this bonus episode, Carrie breaks down the coaching process—from nervous system education and mapping your unique patterns, to building personalized resources, understanding felt sense, exploring protective parts, and strengthening self-trust. She also explains why healing can’t be forced into a set timeline and why the goal of coaching isn’t to “fix” you, but to help you build safety, capacity, and a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmLifeSupplements Code CARRIEJEAN10 saves you 10%

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

After betrayal, boundaries can feel confusing. You may make yourself smaller, say yes when your body is signaling no, absorb other people’s emotions, or shut down completely to protect yourself.

In this Somatic Safety Session, Carrie guides you through a gentle body-based practice to reconnect with your natural boundary signals. Through spatial awareness, push-and-pull movements, and grounding touch, you’ll explore your personal space, notice your felt sense of yes, no, and not yet, and begin reclaiming a clearer sense of where you end and others begin.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmLifeSupplements Code CARRIEJEAN10 saves you 10%

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

What happens when you want to forgive after betrayal, but you cannot even imagine how to get there?

In this What You’re Wondering episode, Carrie and David explore forgiveness through the lens of betrayal trauma, faith, and nervous system healing. They unpack why forgiveness cannot be forced, how spiritual pressure can become another layer of harm, and why forgiveness is not the same as trust, reconciliation, or continued access.

If you have ever wondered whether struggling to forgive means you are failing spiritually, this conversation offers another perspective: forgiveness may be a byproduct of healing, not the prerequisite for it.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmLifeSupplements Code CARRIEJEAN10 saves you 10%

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

In this episode, Carrie sits down with betrayal trauma therapist Lindsay Haverslew to unpack the harmful beliefs that often surround infidelity and betrayal. Together, they explore why betrayed partners are not responsible for another person’s choices, what may be happening beneath behaviors labeled as “reactive” or “controlling,” and why safety, validation, honesty, and transparency are essential for healing. They also share practical guidance for rebuilding self-trust and creating genuine repair after betrayal.

Connect with Lindsay:

📲 Instagram

🌿Subscribe on Substack

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

Healing after betrayal rarely moves in a straight line, and a hard day doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. In this episode, Carrie and David talk about why progress can be so difficult to recognize, how to tell the difference between familiar pain and present-day information, and why healing is about more than simply getting triggered less. They explore different ways to measure growth—including awareness, recovery, capacity, boundaries, and self-trust—and David shares why a betrayed partner’s triggers should never become the scoreboard for how well the relationship is doing.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

Anger is not always the problem—it may be one of the ways your body tries to protect you. In this Somatic Safety Session, Carrie guides you through a gentle practice to notice, contain, and safely move protective energy without suppressing it or letting it take over.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

In this episode of What You’re Wondering, Carrie and David answer a common question after betrayal: How do you bring back the spark when closeness, affection, or intimacy no longer feels natural?

They explore why rebuilding connection has to begin with safety, not pressure, and how betrayal can change the way the body experiences affection, desire, and vulnerability. They also walk through the Gottman Trust Revival Method of Atone, Attune, and Attach, sharing practical ways couples can rebuild friendship, create affection without expectation, make space for grief, communicate about intimacy outside the moment, and create the repeated experiences of safety that allow closeness to return.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

What happens when the person you want comfort from is also the person who caused the pain?

In this episode, Carrie talks with Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind, about the painful push and pull that can happen after betrayal. They explore why you may crave closeness one moment and need distance the next, how shame and powerlessness show up, and why these reactions are not signs that something is wrong with you.

Michelle also shares how healing begins by reclaiming your voice, your choices, and your power—and why recovery is not only possible, but mappable.

Connect with Michelle:

💛 Website

📲 Instagram

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

When you’re healing from betrayal trauma, finding support matters — but finding the right support matters even more. In this episode, Carrie and David unpack the difference between coaching and therapy, why betrayal trauma requires more than generic relationship advice, and what to look for in a practitioner who truly understands nervous system safety, accountability, and repair. They also share key green flags, red flags, and reminders for choosing support that helps you come back to yourself instead of abandoning yourself further.

❓ Practitioner Questions

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

When your mind gets caught replaying the betrayal, searching for answers, or imagining every possible outcome, simply telling yourself to stop thinking rarely helps. In this Somatic Safety Session, Carrie guides you through a gentle body-based practice to interrupt rumination, connect with the protective part beneath the mental spiral, and help your nervous system return to the present moment. You’ll use breath, grounding, compassionate curiosity, and supportive touch to create a little more space between you and the loop—without dismissing the pain or forcing yourself to feel calm.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram:@healwithcarriejean

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle

✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/what-next-webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

What do you do when your partner says they want to work on the marriage… but they still won’t cut contact with the person they betrayed you with?

In this What You’re Wondering episode of the Resiliently Rising Podcast, Carrie and David respond to a listener whose husband is in an emotional affair and continues to ignore the no contact boundary. Together, they unpack why this feels like another betrayal — because it is.

This episode explores why no contact is not about punishment, control, or jealousy, but about safety. If you’ve been wondering whether you’re being too sensitive, too demanding, or not forgiving enough, this episode will help you understand why your body is responding the way it is and why you are allowed to have a bottom line around what safety requires.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

In this episode, Carrie sits down with grief expert and author Claire Bidwell Smith to explore the grief that so often follows betrayal but is rarely named. Together, they discuss the loss of trust, identity, safety, and the relationship you thought you had, as well as the complicated experience of grieving someone who may still be present in your life. Claire shares how self-compassion, supportive relationships, body-based expression, and giving yourself permission to feel what is there can help grief move through rather than remain buried. This conversation offers validation, practical support, and a reminder that grief does not follow a simple or linear timeline.

Connect with Claire:

🛜 https://clairebidwellsmith.com/

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram:@healwithcarriejean

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle

✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/what-next-webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

Separation after betrayal can feel terrifying, confusing, and loaded with meaning. For many couples, the word “separation” feels like the beginning of the end. But separation is not automatically a step toward divorce, and it is not automatically a step toward reconciliation.

In this episode, Carrie and David talk about what separation after betrayal trauma can look like, including in-home separation, separate living arrangements, communication boundaries, check-ins, timelines, and how to decide when or if it feels safe enough to come back together.

This conversation is for anyone navigating betrayal trauma, relationship repair, boundaries, nervous system safety, or the painful uncertainty of what happens next.

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle

✨Coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course

💊 PalmVitaResearch Supplements

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

This bonus episode is a powerful conversation between Jan Winhall and Carrie Holladay on the Embodied Dialogues Podcast. Together they explore betrayal trauma through a Felt Sense Polyvagal lens. Together, they discuss how betrayal impacts the nervous system, disrupts a person's sense of safety, and often leads to protective responses like hypervigilance, shutdown, and disconnection. Rather than focusing solely on understanding the story of what happened, they explain why healing requires restoring a felt sense of safety in the body. The conversation offers a compassionate, non-pathologizing approach to rebuilding trust, highlighting the roles of neuroception, co-regulation, embodied awareness, and ventral vagal connection in creating lasting healing after betrayal.

Connect with Jan: https://www.fspminstitute.com/

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram:@healwithcarriejean

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle

✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/what-next-webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!

🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay

Ever felt a sudden rush of panic that takes over your body? You're not alone. Let's talk about what to do next. Triggers can hit us out of nowhere, sending our bodies into a frenzy. Your heart races, muscles tense, and suddenly, you’re not in the present anymore. But it's important to remember: this reaction doesn't mean you're broken. It’s just your body trying to protect you from past trauma. Today, we’ll explore gentle practices to help your nervous system find calm again. It’s all about allowing yourself to feel and respond with compassion

Connect with Carrie:

📲 Instagram:@healwithcarriejean

🌿Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle

✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching

💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus

🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety

🙋‍♀️ ‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8

🔅 I was just betrayed... what now? Webinar: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/what-next-webinar

👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising!