The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Learn more about Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

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In this episode, Shane talks with Trevor Huskey about perfectionism, anxiety, and relationships. Trevor Huskey, LCSW is a Therapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and Author & Host of The Breathtaking World of Anxiety. Hear how people experience anxiety & perfectionism, how perfectionism & anxiety impact each other, the situations where anxiety & perfectionism are a good thing, how perfectionism & anxiety show up in relationships, and how to provide your clients with hope if they have some of these qualities.

To learn more about Trevor Huskey and check out his books & podcast, visit:

https://www.hopeforabettertomorrow.com/trevor-huskey--lcsw

The Breathtaking World of Anxiety books on Amazon

The Breathtaking World of Anxiety Podcast

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, before it starts on October 27, 2026 here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Judy Hu about boundaries & generational trauma. Judy Hu, LMHC is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Trauma Therapist of over 20 years, turned Boundary Coach, and Bestselling Author of The Boundary Revolution: Decolonize Your Relationships and Discover a New Path to Joy. Hear how to move your clients into compassion, why kids become people pleasers, how to hold yourself accountable as a parent, why everyone is valuable, and how to help your clients move back to the truth.

To learn more about Judy Hu and check out her book, visit:

https://judyhuboundarycoach.com/

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, before it starts on October 27, 2026 here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Wendy Behary about working with narcissism in couples therapy. Wendy is the Bestselling Author of Disarming the Narcissist and the Founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. Hear how the perception of narcissism has changed over the past 30 years, what narcissism looks like in a relationship, how to think about leverage when it comes to couples therapy, how to empower the partner of a narcissist, and why schema therapy is a good fit for these types of relationships.

To learn more about Wendy Behary and check out her book, visit:

https://disarmingthenarcissist.com/

You can also listen to Wendy Behary on Episode 82 & Episode 210 of The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for Shane's free live training "What Do You Actually Do in a Couples Intensive? The 4 Cs in Action" on October 16, 2026 at Noon ET here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_lCoPXtPfTxaP_s2ATDr98Q

Sign up for Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, before it starts on October 27, 2026 here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Thais Gibson about attachment theory & relationships. Thais is a Relationship Expert, Co-Founder of The Personal Development School, and Author of 3 books on attachment theory. Hear why it helps to understand why we feel stuck, how influential attachment theory is on our lives, how to explore core wounds with your clients, how to set up goals with your clients, and how to help your clients find their truth.

To learn more about Dr. Thais Gibson, visit:

PersonalDevelopmentSchool.com

YouTube @ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Instagram @ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, before it starts on October 27, 2026 here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane poses the question: Are you practicing the way you actually want to practice? Hear how to think outside the box when it comes to your couples therapy practice, why we should question the traditional couples therapy model, what your clients will think if you start offering intensives, the difference between competency & certainty when it comes to couples therapy, and how to get over what's holding you back as a couples therapist.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for Shane's free live training "Beyond the 50-Minute Session: How to Start Offering Couples Therapy Intensives" on October 2, 2026 at Noon ET here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_WPzz0aBYTlObz31MdlDpKg

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Jennifer Reid about guilt & relationships. Jennifer is a board-certified psychiatrist, award-winning educator, creator and host of A Mind of Her Own podcast and Substack, and the author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Hear how women & men tend to experience guilt differently, what to do when there's seemingly no way to satisfy your guilt, how guilt often shows up in relationships, how to avoid losing your voice in your relationship, and how boundaries relate to guilt.

To learn more about Dr. Jennifer Reid and Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations, visit:

https://www.jenniferreidmd.com/

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for Shane's free live training "Beyond the 50-Minute Session: How to Start Offering Couples Therapy Intensives" on October 2, 2026 at Noon ET here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_WPzz0aBYTlObz31MdlDpKg

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks longer therapy sessions. Hear why couples therapists need to be working in longer sessions when meeting with couples, what to do if you run out of time in a couples therapy session, why you should focus on the betrayer first in an affair, why couples therapy is a very difficult art form, and how long couples therapy intensives should be.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller about Brave Love, Great Sex. Laurie is an internationally recognized sex therapist, couples counselor, and educator with over 35 years of experience helping people heal their most intimate relationships. George is a husband, father, therapist, educator, speaker, author, and global leader in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. Their latest book is Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships. Hear the sexual side of attachment theory, the 3 systems in a romantic relationship, how to work with clients where only 1 partner wants to have sex, the role of compassion when it comes to sex, and the safety couples therapists provide to clients when talking about sex.

To learn more about Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller, visit:

https://www.lauriewatson.com/

https://www.georgefaller.com/

Brave Love, Great Sex Book & Podcast

You can also listen to George Faller on Episode 47 of The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Frank Spinelli about understanding shame. Frank is a Physician, Health Coach, Author, and passionate advocate whose groundbreaking work bridges healthcare, storytelling, and social justice. His latest book is The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance. Hear why shame is like a beach ball, why there's nothing positive about toxic shame, why guilt can be healthy for couples, what happens with adults who were shamed as a kid, and the top reasons women & men feel shame.

To learn more about Dr. Frank Spinelli, visit:

https://www.frankspinelli.com/

The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this Part 2 of 2, Shane talks with Arjuna Ardagh about The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy. Arjuna supports couples in the practice of conscious relationships and Taoist sexual practices. Hear how to help couples deepen their sense of truth in the world, what to do when partners have different levels of sexual desire, the most common ways couples start relationships, how to help partners share what they truly want with each other, and how couples can practice these concepts at home.

To learn more about Arjuna Ardagh and The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy, visit:

https://taoofdeepintimacy.com/

Instagram @TheTaoOfDeepIntimacy

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this Part 1 of 2, Shane talks with Arjuna Ardagh about The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy. Arjuna supports couples in the practice of conscious relationships and Taoist sexual practices. Hear how he became so in love with love, his unique approach with couples, the history of relationships, helpful exercises related to Taoism, and the difference between healthy connection & codependence.

To learn more about Arjuna Ardagh and The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy, visit:

https://taoofdeepintimacy.com/

Instagram @TheTaoOfDeepIntimacy

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Harriet Lerner about how to apologize. Harriet is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of women, and the "how-tos" of navigating the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships. She is the author of 12 books published in 35 languages. Hear why apologies are so important, the ways people ruin their apologies, what a good apology requires of us, the differences in how men & women apologize, and how to navigate a client who refuses to apologize.

To learn more about Harriet Lerner, visit:

https://www.harrietlerner.com/

Why Won't You Apologize? Book

Why Won't He Apologize? | Harriet Lerner | TEDxKC

You can also listen to Harriet Lerner on Episode 27 of The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks why you keep reacting that way and how to stop. Hear the difference between your authentic self & your unconscious programming, how our brain creates shortcuts & patterns to protect us, how to find the real Truth of your clients, how to help your clients understand where their feelings & actions are coming from, and how to help your clients come home to themselves.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Annie Chen about attachment styles. Annie is an author, therapist, consultant, and coach who holds 2 master's degrees in counseling and psychology. With over 17 years dedicated to studying the mind, nervous systems, and relationships, she has developed a unique approach to relationships and working with people. Hear why attachment theory is so important, how we develop our attachment styles, how to approach attachment styles with your clients, the danger of talking in absolutes, and how much to dive into family of origin work.

To learn more about Annie Chen, visit:

https://www.anniechen.net/

https://www.attachmentquiz.com/

The Attachment Theory Workbook

I Want to Connect

Instagram @AnnieChenLMFT

You can also listen to Annie Chen on Episode 90 of The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with LaDonna Carey about Surviving Betrayal. LaDonna is a Betrayal Recovery Specialist, Therapist, Trainer, and the Author of Surviving Betrayal: A Path to Healing from Betrayal and Abandonment. Hear why betrayal is so hard to navigate, how to help your clients have these conversations even with anger coming through, how to work with both the betrayer and the betrayed, why intensive sessions are more effective in cases of betrayal, and how to be conscious of your own biases as a couples therapist.

To learn more about LaDonna Carey & Surviving Betrayal, visit:

Surviving Betrayal Book

Smoky Mountains Symposium on Relational Trauma

https://www.ladonnacarey.com/

https://ladonnacarey.substack.com/

You can also listen to LaDonna Carey on Episode 179 & Episode 143 of The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks why it's not about the dishes. Hear why most of our emotional reactions aren't about what's happening right now, how to recognize carried emotions vs. present emotions, a modern look at our survival strategies, whether to do family of origin work with your clients, and why emotions often come up in financial conversations.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks truth & love. Hear why relationships are so hard, why we present the edited version of ourselves to our partner at first, how to help your clients show their true selves, how truth & love tie into The 4 Cs of Relationships, and how deep to go into family history with your clients.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Susan Saint-Rossy about embracing your couples therapist identity. Susan is a Couples Therapist and the Owner of Couples Therapist Studio, where she's a Business and Marketing Consultant for couples therapists. Hear how to run your business as a couples therapist, what clients look for when considering a couples therapist, how to create the signal that makes your practice pop, how to advertise as a couples therapist, and why you should be charging more.

To learn more about Susan Saint-Rossy, visit:

https://www.couplestherapiststudio.com/

https://www.relationship-therapist.com/

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks working with couples who get escalated. Hear some common questions people are wondering about in couples therapy today, how to work with a partner who doesn't want to be in couples therapy, what to do if one partner is more invested than the other, what to do if things get escalated during an intensive or any type of couples therapy session, and how to market intensives to both your existing & new clients.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/ to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks relationship repair. Hear why repair is one of the most underrated skills in a relationship, the research experiments behind relationship repair, why the rupture is inevitable, why repair is so hard for so many couples, and how to help your clients build their capacity for repair.