The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Get your emotions under control. Set the feelings aside. Treat it like a business deal. It’s advice you hear again and again in divorce circles, and this week’s episode of Divorce & Beyond just may make you rethink it. That advice isn’t just hard to follow. It’s backwards. Susan Guthrie welcomes Katherine Eisold Miller author of The Emotionally Savvy Divorce to discuss why your fear, your anger, and that knot in your stomach over the house aren’t what’s standing in your way. They’re information, telling you exactly what matters most.

Katherine knows the divorce process from both sides of the table. She was a family litigator when she went through her own divorce, and sitting in that chair confirmed just how disorienting, scary, and enraging the process can be for the people living through it. She came back to the work with a complete paradigm shift and a new answer to the question her clients kept asking: What do I do with the feelings?

Together, Susan and Katherine turn the usual advice on its head. Instead of shutting your emotions down, Katherine shows you how to listen to them. Underneath the fear and the anger is the clearest information you have about what you truly want for your life on the other side of divorce. The best part, one deceptively simple question unlocks all of it.

What You’ll Learn

• Why your emotions in divorce are not the enemy but information pointing at what matters most to you
• How asking one simple question with curiosity and not judgment gets you underneath “I want the house” to what you actually need
• Why divorce is a traffic circle between the life that was and the life that will be, and how your emotions can help you choose your exit on purpose
• How knowing your soon-to-be-ex better than anyone becomes a superpower

Get this week's FREE RESOURCE:

The What's Up With That Worksheet

https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/latest-episode

About this week's special guest: Katherine Eisold Miller

Katherine E. Miller is the founder of Miller Law Group, where she and her team have helped hundreds of families navigate divorce with dignity for over two decades.

A trainer at the Center for Understanding in Conflict and host of the Divorce Dialogues podcast, Katherine has dedicated her career to transforming how people experience one of life’s most difficult transitions.

CONNECT WITH KATHERINE EISOLD MILLER:

Website: https://katherinemiller.com/

Book: The Emotionally Savvy Divorce

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/millerlaw_ny/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kemiller1/

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Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcastand has contributed to The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

What if your divorce turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to you? If you are in the middle of one right now, that probably sounds completely ridiculous, maybe even a little offensive. But after more than 35 years of helping people navigate divorce, Susan Guthrie has heard the same remarkable words again and again from people on the other side, in their beyond: “I only wish I’d done it sooner.”

Susan welcomes Sharon Oberst DeFala, a family law attorney, mediator, holistic divorce professional, and Reiki master, who brings together two worlds you might not expect to find in the same conversation. Known as the divorce attorney with a heart, Sharon believes divorce is about much more than dividing assets, negotiating settlements, and signing legal documents. It is also about preserving relationships where possible, caring for your emotional well-being, and making intentional decisions that support the life you want to live after divorce. She goes even further than that in her new book, Love Your Divorce: Your Guide to a Holistic, Happier Ever After.

This conversation challenges one of the biggest assumptions people make about divorce: that it is a failure, a tragedy, or something you simply have to endure until you can get on with your life. What if the way you go through your divorce is just as important as the outcome? And what if, instead of focusing on everything you are losing, you could begin to see everything you might gain? For anyone facing divorce, this one may change the way you see it.

Guided Meditation from Sharon: https://youtube.com/@LoveYourDivorce

Get this week's FREE RESOURCE:

About this week's special guest: Sharon DeFala

Sharon Oberst DeFala is a family law attorney, mediator, holistic divorce professional and Reiki Master who has been helping individuals and families navigate divorce and other major life transitions since 1992.

Known as the "divorce attorney with a heart," Sharon believes that how you go through divorce matters just as much as the outcome. Her holistic approach combines decades of legal experience with compassion, intention and a focus on preserving relationships and helping families move forward in healthier ways. She is the author of the new book, Love Your Divorce: Your Guide to a Holistic Happier Ever After.

CONNECT WITH SHARON OBERST DEFALA:

Website: https://www.oberstlaw.com/

Book: Love Your Divorce: Your Guide to a Holistic, Happier Ever After

Instagram: http://instagram.com/sharondefala

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharondefala

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcastand has contributed to The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Walking into a courtroom for a divorce rarely ends in justice. The most likely outcome is a continuance. People take the day off from work, pay their attorney a good sum of money, and watch the judge kick the can down the road, walking out with nothing resolved. Now picture the opposite: one skilled, neutral person at the helm of the entire divorce, guiding both spouses through the divorce process step by step until every last piece is finished.

Susan Guthrie welcomes Paula Lawhon, a certified family law specialist and full-time divorce mediator in northern California who has spent more than two decades helping families reach agreements without turning their lives into a war. Paula started as a litigator and realized in a courthouse hallway that there had to be a better way, then built her entire practice around finding it. She is the author of Effectively Steering the Ship, a new book from the American Bar Association that offers a blueprint for a divorce built around resolution instead of conflict, with one neutral person steering the whole process at a pace that fits your life and no surprises waiting after the papers are signed.

This conversation explores what a divorce looks like when it is actually managed well, why so many divorces stall out and cost far more than they should, and the one thing anyone can ask their own mediator for that could change the entire experience. For anyone facing divorce, and the professionals guiding families through it, this one changes what you think is possible.

What You'll Hear:

• Why there is no one-size-fits-all divorce, and how you and your spouse can design mediation to fit your family, your finances, and your timeline.
• How a case-managing mediator steers the whole ship, guiding you from the first filing all the way to the final judgment and beyond so nobody is ever lost.
• Why you and your spouse are the only decision-makers in mediation, with no judge, no dictating, and no one telling you what your life should look like.
• How full disclosure protects you, and why, when in doubt, it is better to over-disclose.
• Why you are not done when you sign the papers, since retirement transfers, title changes, and settlement payments are where good divorces quietly fall apart.
• How to ask your mediator for more, including the next steps, the action items, and the "you are here" dot on the map.

Get this week's FREE RESOURCE: The First-Meeting Mediation Guide: 10 Questions That Put You at the Helm can be found on the website at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/latest-episode

About this week's special guest: Paula Lawhon

Paula Lawhon is a Certified Family Law Specialist and a full-time divorce mediator based in Northern California, where she has spent more than two decades helping families reach agreements without turning their lives into a war. She started as a litigator, realized somewhere in a courthouse hallway that there had to be a better way, and built her entire practice around finding it. She is a member of the Association of Professional Family Mediators, she has served as a settlement mediator for her county's Superior Court, and she is the author of a brand new book from the American Bar Association called Effectively Steering the Ship

CONNECT WITH PAULA LAWHON:

Effectively Steering the Ship: https://www.americanbar.org/products/inv/book/455546260/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sfmediation/

Paula's law practice: Lawhon Law & Mediation P.C.: https://www.lawhonlaw.com/

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcastand has contributed to The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

What would you say if I told you there is a way to choose the judge for your divorce, and skip the courtroom, entirely? The answer might surprise you. It's arbitration. In almost six years of Divorce and Beyond, arbitration has never been part of the conversation, until now.

Susan Guthrie welcomes family law attorney Amanda Mason, co-founder and CEO of Solagree, a virtual flat-fee divorce process that puts expert financial and parenting guidance and mediation first, with private arbitration as the backdrop, so nobody gets stuck and nobody ends up in court. Amanda built Solagree after going through her own divorce, including a full custody trial in the same courthouse where she had practiced for years. She knows the system from both sides of the counsel table and has decided families deserve something better.

This conversation explores why delay and fear fuel conflict, why functioning is not the same as healing, and how closing the exits keeps both spouses committed to reaching resolution. For anyone going through a divorce, and the professionals helping families restructure through it, this one changes what you think your options are.

Together, Susan and Amanda break down how arbitration cuts the delay that fuels conflict, why it is not litigation light, and how agreeing up front that an arbitrator will decide whatever you can't settle closes the exits so no one can walk away or drag it out forever. For anyone going through a divorce, and the professionals helping families restructure through it, this one changes what you think your options are.

What You'll Hear:

• How arbitration lets you and your spouse choose a decision-maker with deep family law experience, even for their reputation for kindness, instead of whichever judge is assigned to your case.
• Why delay creates conflict, with every month waiting for a court date adding paperwork updates, professional fees, and distrust.
• How fear stops people from settling, and why starting with financial and parenting specialists before anyone negotiates makes settlement stop feeling impossible.
• Why this is not litigation light, keeping every tool from expert witnesses to appraisals while giving up the backlog, the formality, and the courtroom.

About this week's special guest: Amanda Mason

Amanda Mason is a family law attorney, certified mediator, and the co-founder and CEO of SOLAGREE®, a virtual, flat-fee divorce process built to keep families out of court.

Admitted to the North Carolina bar in 2003, Amanda has spent more than two decades in family law and is a partner at Mason, Mason & Smith in Wilmington, North Carolina. She is certified by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission as both a Family Financial and a Superior Court Civil mediator, and she has been named to the North Carolina Super Lawyers list for 2025, 2026, and 2027, after appearing on the Rising Stars list from 2015 to 2018.

Her work on SOLAGREE began with her own divorce. Amanda went through a full custody trial in the same courthouse where she had practiced for years, and standing on the other side of the counsel table changed how she saw the system. In 2019 she began building an alternative: a structured process where couples agree at the outset that private arbitration, not a courtroom, will decide anything they cannot settle themselves. That single commitment removes the two things that derail most divorces, one spouse walking away and one spouse dragging it out.

SOLAGREE® is a virtual, flat-fee divorce process that replaces the courtroom with a private, structured path to resolution.

It works in three phases. In the first, a certified divorce financial analyst and a parenting specialist help each person understand their financial picture and define their parenting goals, without the usual discovery slog. In the second, an experienced family law mediator guides the negotiation, where most cases resolve. In the third, if anything is still unresolved, a private arbitrator the couple helps select issues a binding decision.

What sets it apart is the commitment at the front end. Both people agree from the start that arbitration, not court, will decide whatever they cannot settle. Amanda calls it a closed system, and it is why nobody can walk away and nobody can stall. A set of standard ground rules, including what she calls her anti-ghosting provisions, keeps both parties participating.

Pricing is flat and published up front, by track: Parenting at $2,250 per person, Financial at $4,800 per person, and Combined at $5,990 per person, including the neutral experts, the mediation, the arbitration, and the final award.

The entire process runs online. Attorneys are welcome and optional, and SOLAGREE is expanding state by state toward nationwide availability.

CONNECT WITH AMANDA MASON AND SOLAGREE®

Website:solagree.com
Take the eligibility quiz: solagree.com
Book a consultation: https://solagree.com/book-a-solagree-consult
Email Amanda: amanda@solagree.com

Instagram: @solagree_divorce
Amanda on Instagram: @amandamasonatty
Facebook: facebook.com/Solagree
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/solagree
Amanda on LinkedIn: Amanda Mason

Amanda's law practice: Mason, Mason & Smith, Wilmington, NC, https://masonmasonlaw.com

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

The end of a marriage does not mean the end of who you are. It can be the blank canvas that opens the door to becoming the person you were always meant to be, and there is no better place to close out a season than in that joyful, wide-open work of reinvention.

Susan Guthrie welcomes back stylist, dating expert, and author Alyssa Dineen, who rebuilt her own life after divorce and now helps others do the same from the outside in. This conversation, one of the most loved in the show's archive, breaks down what she calls "divorce as the mother of reinvention."

From the closet cleanse that clears out clothes that no longer feel like home, to practicing self-kindness in the small moments, to getting real about online dating profiles and photos, this episode is a guide for reinventing yourself from the inside out.

What You'll Hear:

• Why a closet cleanse after divorce can feel like purging an old identity, and how choosing a few new pieces that feel like "the new you" builds confidence
• How small acts of self-kindness, like sleeping in or journaling nightly gratitude, help you appreciate the "benchmark moments" of starting over
• The "first date uniform" and why having a go-to outfit takes the stress out of getting ready to date again
• How to take profile photos that feel natural instead of staged
• How "shopping your closet" and restyling what you already own can create a whole new look without a big budget

Episode 8 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brought back 8 episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. We've made it to the final episode! Follow the show to catch up on all of the episodes and stay tuned for new episodes to come.

About this week's special guest: Alyssa Dineen

Hi! I’m Alyssa Dineen and I’m a personal stylist and dating coach all rolled into one. I started Style My Profile to help other online daters feel better about getting out there— and staying out there— in the world of online dating. Whether it’s to meet your soulmate, to find a fun person to have dinner with or even just match with more people, I can help you from the ground up. From making the decision about whether you’re actually ready to online date, to finding your true-to-you style for your profile photos and IRL dates, to what to include in your profile, to actually asking someone out.

With my 20 years of styling expertise, my art director eye, my new book, The Art of Online Dating, and my own personal dating experience, I am able to coach online daters successfully through the foreign world of dating apps.

Find More Information on Alyssa Dineen:

Website http://www.stylemyprofilenyc.com

Book: The Art of Online Dating

Instagram: http://instagram.com/stylemyprofilenyc and http://instagram.com/alyssadineen

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Betrayal is one of the deepest wounds divorce can carry. As part of her summer series on rebuilding after divorce, Susan Guthrie, family law attorney and mediator, turns her attention to healing itself, sitting down with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute.

Whether it's a loved one, a friend, a colleague, or someone entirely unexpected, betrayal reaches into nearly every part of life and can be hard to move beyond, sometimes for years. Dr. Silber has spent her career studying exactly that, building a program that guides people through the five stages of betrayal toward a new foundation and a new worldview. Together, she and Susan unpack why betrayal cuts so deep, walking through those stages and the reasons so many people stay stuck in the process without realizing it.

As Dr. Silber puts it, "the best revenge is a life well lived." Wherever someone is in their own healing, this conversation offers a clear next step toward it.

What You'll Learn

• Why betrayal is uniquely devastating, striking at the sense of self in ways other traumas don't
• Why Dr. Silber says that even though betrayal happened to you, it was never really about you
• The five stages of betrayal and healing, and how to recognize which one you're in
• The three reasons people get stuck and never fully heal from betrayal
• Why staying stuck in betrayal can function like an addiction, and what it takes to break the cycle

Episode 7 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.

About this week's special guest: Dr. Debi Sibler

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day, is an award-winning speaker and 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast, From Betrayal to Breakthrough, ranks in the top 1.5% globally. Her groundbreaking PhD study revealed 3 discoveries that completely revolutionized our understanding of betrayal-and how to achieve full healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. Creator of the world's #1 betrayal recovery certification for life, business, health, and leadership coaches, Dr. Debi equips practitioners globally with her evidence-based framework so they can deliver exponentially better results with their existing clients. Featured on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, and TEDx (twice), she equips practitioners with the missing framework-helping them move from uncertainty to confidence, from using general tools that keep clients stuck to specialized approaches that create genuine transformation.

Find More Information on Dr. Silber:

Website: http://thepbtinstitute.com/

Book: Unstuck: The Practitioner's Guide to Moving Betrayal Clients from Survival to Transformation

You can view Dr. Debi's latest TEDx Talk, "Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome?" HERE!

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Not every co-parenting relationship can be fixed through better communication. What do you do when the other parent refuses to cooperate, no matter what you try? There's a name for the path forward: parallel parenting. Susan Guthrie welcomes divorce and recovery coach Dr. Courtney Evans, who has lived through high-conflict co-parenting herself and now helps others build the boundaries that get them out of it.

This episode continues Divorce & Beyond's summer series, picking up where last week's conversation on uncooperative co-parents left off. Dr. Evans explains what parallel parenting is, when to use it, and how to create real peace for you and your children even when the conflict doesn't stop.

Episode 6 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.

What You'll Learn

• Parallel Parenting: a transformative approach that can help you manage high-conflict situations with greater ease and clarity
• “There is no one solution for how to divorce, co-parent or parallel parent or how to recover after. Every situation is unique.”
• The difference between counter-parent, co-parent, and parallel parent
• Why Courtney likes to refer to parallel parenting as peaceful parenting
• How and when to get started with parallel parenting or make the transition

Episode 6 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.

About this week's special guest: Dr. Courtney Evans

Dr. Courtney is an experienced divorce and co-parenting coach who also holds a DNP. Her two-decade career in the healthcare field has lent to her deep understanding of mental health and the importance of self-care during challenging life transitions.

In 2021, after a traumatic family court journey, she switched gears in her career, determined to turn her experience into a source of healing. She began coursework in Alternate Dispute Resolution strategies. In 2022, Courtney received her Divorce Coach and Recovery Coach certifications from the CDC® International Divorce Coach Certification Program and a specialization in Divorce Conflict from the Divorce Coach Academy®.

Courtney is currently in school working on her MBA as well as continued work in co-parenting and high conflict dispute resolution specializations. She is also currently writing her first book, Uncaged: Redefining Forgiveness out January 13, 2025.

Find More Information on Dr. Evans:
Dr. Courtney’s website: https://drcourtney.me

Dr. Courtney on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcourt_everafterco/

Dr. Courtney on Facebook: http://facebook.com/drcourt_everafterco

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Parallel Parenting Solution (book)

Get Uncaged: The Key to Happily Ever After by Dr. Courtney Evans with a Forward by Susan E. Guthrie

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is a Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Co-parenting takes two people willing to show up. Susan Guthrie says that when only one parent is willing, it is one of the most common and most exhausting struggles she sees, and it is exactly the situation divorce parenting expert Christina McGhee helps families navigate.

Parenting even under the best of circumstances is challenging. Add in a co-parent who is uncooperative or high-conflict, and it becomes downright exhausting, leaving you feeling like you are constantly trying to protect your kids while managing someone who is not making it easy.

Christina tackles one of the toughest situations of all, co-parenting when there is no real co-parent on the other side, and shares her top tips for working through the feelings of hopelessness and exhaustion that come with it. Together, she and Susan talk through how to get to a place of being in control of yourself and your emotions, so you can stay grounded, set boundaries, keep your children out of the middle, and show up as an empowered, consistent, engaging, and confident parent no matter what your co-parent is doing.

What You'll Learn

• What Christina means when she says “When there’s no “Co” in Co-parenting…”
• Instead of staying focused on fixing the co-parent, lean into your co-parenting values and work on yourself
• Radical acceptance: Adjust your expectations and accept things the way they are…for now. “It may not get easier, but how you manage it makes a difference.”
• Ask yourself: How is your response going to impact your children?
• Talk about the problem, not the person. “Making the other parent look small will never make you look big.”
• Don’t forget about the power of one!

Episode 5 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.

About this week's special guest: Christina McGhee

Christina McGhee is a speaker and divorce parenting expert who believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families.

While splitting up is undeniably hard, with the right kind of information and support, she thinks parents can be children's absolute best resource as life changes.

As a coach with 20+ years of experience, Christina is dedicated to providing parents with the tools and practical support they need to get it right for their kids.

She is also the author of the highly acclaimed book, Parenting Apart: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids.

As a child of divorce and as a bonus mom (aka step-mom), Christina gets plenty of opportunities to practice what she preaches.

Together she and her husband have four “adultish” children (2 bonus, 2 bio), an ever-growing community of rescue dogs/cats, and an obscene number of chickens. You can nd out more about her at divorceandchildren.com

Find More Information on Christina:

Website: http://www.divorceandchildren.com/

Co-Parenting Specialist (CoPS) Certification Training with Mosten Guthrie Academy: https://mostenguthrie.com/co-parenting-specialist/https://mostenguthrie.com/co-parenting-specialist

Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids:

https://amzn.to/3PpdW3m

Instagram: http://instagram.com/divorceandchildren

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorceandchildren

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

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Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

What happens when you suspect your spouse isn't telling the truth about the finances? Susan Guthrie says it's more common than you think, and it's exactly what forensic accountant Tracy Coenen does for a living.

Tracy Coenen has spent more than 25 years uncovering hidden money in corporate fraud cases and in divorces too. She calls it "divorce financial planning," when someone sees a split coming and starts thinking about what they can do with the money so they don't have to divide it or pay support on it. She also calls out "divorce amnesia," the sudden inability to remember an inheritance or a bank account on a financial disclosure form. Tracy returns to Divorce and Beyond to walk through the five most common ways people hide money when a marriage ends.

As a divorce attorney for more than three decades, Susan has seen plenty of these sneaky moves herself, and she knows a forensic accountant can almost always find them. Together, she and Tracy go through the practical, do it yourself steps to spot the signs using bank statements, tax documents, and a little pattern recognition, without hiring a small army of experts. If the numbers in your divorce have ever felt off, this one is for you.

What You'll Learn

• What to look for when a spouse is only depositing part of their paycheck into the joint account
• Why a sudden increase in cash withdrawals, or a spouse suddenly hitting the ATM, is worth a closer look
• How gift cards and cash back at checkout can become a quiet way to siphon money out of the marital estate
• How to spot a secret credit card, especially when it's hiding at the very same bank as your main account
• Why a paycheck, bonus, or commission that vanishes right as a divorce begins may not be a coincidence
• How pulling together the right bank statements and tax documents lets you spot these patterns yourself, without paying a forensic accountant

Episode 4 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.

About this week's special guest: Tracy Coenen

Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn’t always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree, but added accounting and economics courses so she could sit for the CPA exam… and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans.

Find More Information on Tracy:

Fraud Coach: http://fraudcoach.com/beyond

Find Me The Money: Take Control, Uncover the Truth, and Win the Money You Deserve In Your Divorce https://amzn.to/3A105ep

Take the assessment: Is there financial fraud in your marriage? https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147522699/Epr7xfEb

The Divorce Money Guide: https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147518094/Epr7xfEb

Win Your Divorce: https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147528573/Epr7xfEb

Win Your Divorce All Access Pass: https://www.fraudcoach.com/a/2147528572/Epr7xfEb

Check out Tracy's previous episode: How to Spot the Red Flags of Financial Abuse in Divorce with Top Forensic Accountant, Tracy Coenen

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Susan Guthrie turns to a subject that keeps more people up at night than almost any other one in divorce: money. Specifically, how to protect it, and how to stop spending it in the wrong places.

Heather Locus is a CPA, certified financial planner, and certified divorce financial analyst with a rare gift for taking the most complicated financial pieces of divorce and making them feel manageable. In this episode, Heather shares her top strategies for saving money in your divorce, from the common mistakes that quietly drain your settlement to the smart moves that keep more of your hard-earned dollars where they belong, with you.

Together, Susan and Heather walk through her five ways to save money in a divorce, from getting organized early and assembling the right support team, to keeping business and emotion separate, to using her Settle Smart projections to see the road ahead. As Heather points out, these are critical points whether you have millions in the bank or are living paycheck to paycheck.

What You'll Learn

• Why something as simple as setting up a separate email for divorce communications can save real time, money, and stress
• What discernment counseling is, and how pausing to consider it can save money in your divorce negotiations, even if you still end up divorcing
• Why having laser focused priorities, for yourself and for your spouse, is the key to smart negotiating
• How to assemble the right support team, and when mediation, collaborative divorce, or traditional litigation is the better fit
• Why remembering "it's business" helps you make financial decisions instead of emotional ones
• What Settle Smart is, and how modeling your financial future helps you know what to accept, and what's worth continuing to negotiate for

Episode 3 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series. This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one.

About this week's special guest: Heather Locus

Heather founded the National Divorce Practice Group at BDF Private Wealth to help divorcing individuals consciously navigate their divorce’s emotional and business aspects. From hiring the right fit attorney through their SettleSmart™ analysis, then implementing the divorce decree and auditing it annually, Heather ensures you have the resources you need to start your next chapter on a firm footing.

Heather founded our Women’s Service Team in 2006 to help female executives and business owners, widows, and women transitioning through divorce. After going through her own divorce in 2011, she realized how much more we could do to support divorcing women and men with a practice dedicated to serving their unique needs. Heather is driven by deep empathy to help divorcing individuals have clarity and confidence in finalizing their divorce.

A Forbes “America’s Top Women Advisor,” Heather is a nine-time “Five Star Wealth Manager” according to Chicago magazine, was named an “Influential Women in Business” by The Business Ledger, a “Top 200 Wealth Advisor Mom” by Working Mother, and an InvestmentNews “Woman to Watch.” Heather is an author of two books on divorce and has contributed to leading publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Crain’s Chicago Business, Family Lawyer Magazine, and Divorce Magazine on multiple topics. She is a CPA, CFP® practitioner, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) professional and has completed intensive executive coaching and divorce mediation training.

Heather loves learning from her teenage son and daughter and working with organizations she is passionate about, including After School Matters, The Lilac Tree, Between Friends, and Make-A-Wish Foundation.

For more information on Heather:

Call/Text Heather at 312-312-2144 or email hlocus@bdfllc.com if you or a friend are contemplating or in the middle of a divorce.

Financial Issues in Divorce: A Client Handbook: Heather's latest book written for the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys.

Listen to Heather's prior episode of Divorce & Beyond:

Negotiating Your Financial Future: Key Factors to Consider with Leading Divorce Financial Professional, Heather Locus" on The Divorce & Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. #114

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Susan Guthrie has been a divorce attorney and mediator for 35 years and she thinks that in almost all cases, your first hire in divorce should be a coach. This episode explains why.

How do you find the right divorce coach for you? The popularity of divorce coaching has grown enormously, and with so many kinds of coaches out there, it can be hard to know what a divorce coach actually does or how to find the right one. People hear the word coach and think of life coaches, athletic coaches, business coaches, and divorce coaching gets lumped in with all of them. This episode clears that up and answers the questions many people need early in the divorce process.

Susan is joined by Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak, the founders of The Divorce Coaches Academy, who train and support divorce coaches and are themselves practicing coaches, mediators, and Susan's colleagues in the dispute resolution field. They explain what a divorce coach really is, a flexible, goal-oriented process recognized by the American Bar Association as a form of alternative dispute resolution, designed to support and guide people through both the business side and the emotional management of divorce.

Together they walk through how to find a coach who fits, what questions to ask on a complimentary discovery call, why training and certification matter in a field with no national standards, and how the right coach can save a client both time and money. Susan makes the case she has made before, that a divorce coach is an essential member of your team and often the best place to start, because the choice can shape who you hire next.

Episode 2 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. The series starts here.

What You'll Learn

• What a divorce coach actually is, and why the American Bar Association recognizes divorce coaching as a form of alternative dispute resolution
• Why finding a coach before an attorney can change who you hire and how your whole divorce unfolds
• How to tell if a coach is the right fit, from credentials and training to the complimentary discovery call
• What to ask about a coach's process, programs, pricing, and how they work before you commit
• Why training and certification matter in a field with no national standards, and what it means to coach from your scar and not from your wound

About Our Guests: Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak

Debra and Tracy are both committed to the profession of divorce coaching and the process of alternative dispute resolution. They are both CDC Certified Divorce Coaches®, authors, educators, and founding members of Divorce Coaches Academy, an online education platform that provides continuing education for practicing, professional divorce coaches.

Tracy is a Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediator, serves as the Manager of the Mentor and Peer Coaching Programs for the CDC Certified Divorce Coach® certifying body, and has built her practice and reputation as an alternative dispute resolution specialist and conflict expert over the past 13 years. Get Tracy's book: Divorce: Taking the High Road: Simple Strategies for Creating a Healthy Divorce, Tracy Callahan contributor and reach out to her at http://www.mediatingmatters.com

Debra is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Ohio Supreme Court trained Family Court Mediator, and Betrayal Trauma Specialist. Get Debra's book: High Conflict Divorce for Women and reach out to her at http://www.debradoak.com

For More Information on Tracy, Debra and The Divorce Coaches Academy:

• Website: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/
• Email: dca@divorcecoachesacademy
• Social Media Handles

IG: @divorcecoachesacademy
FB: @divorcecoachesacademy
LI: divorce-coaches-academy
Twitter: @AcademyDivorce

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

What do I do first when I find out I'm getting divorced?

It is the number one question people ask the moment divorce becomes real, whether they reached the decision themselves or were just told it is coming. In one of her most-requested solo episodes, Susan Guthrie introduces the concept of Divorce Triage, a clear-headed way to assess your situation and decide who to reach out to first based on the urgency and the needs of your specific case.

Borrowing from the emergency room, Susan explains that when a crisis hits, whether emotional, legal, or financial, you do not have to solve the whole thing at once. You just have to take the right first step. Drawing on more than three decades as a family law attorney and mediator, she walks through the core members of a divorce support team, the attorney, the mediator, the divorce coach, the therapist, and the certified divorce financial analyst, and uses real scenarios to show who your first call should be. From the affair discovery, to the financial betrayal, to the blindsided stay-at-home parent, to the longtime thinker who is finally ready to act, each situation calls for a different first move.

Divorce is not one size fits all, and the first decision you make can shape everything that follows. This episode helps you think clearly and choose carefully, so you move forward with strength and strategy instead of panic.

Episode 1 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. The series starts here.

What You'll Learn

• Why your first call may not be an attorney, and how to triage who you reach out to based on your circumstances
• Who belongs on your divorce support team, the attorney, mediator, divorce coach, therapist, and CDFA, and when to bring each one in
• How to take the right first step when betrayal, fear, or financial shock has your emotions all over the place
• Why too many voices create confusion, and how to avoid the trap of asking everyone for advice
• Susan's golden nugget: why divorce is not a DIY project, and why the first decision you make shapes everything that comes next

If This Episode Helped You Follow Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, a five-star review makes a real difference in helping the show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About the Host: Susan Guthrie, Esq. Susan Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping people navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Town & Country, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 1.3 million downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together leading legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at divorceandbeyondpod.com/about.

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Kelly Myers has been on Divorce and Beyond twice before. Once to talk about Divorce Day One. Once to help listeners avoid the divorce hangover that follows too many people into their new life. This time, she comes back to share something she has never spoken about publicly: what the loss of her son Jack taught her about years of high-conflict co-parenting, and her hope that every parent still in the middle of it will find a way through differently.

In June of 2024, Kelly lost her son Jack at the age of 23. In the year that followed, she found herself looking back at the years of high-conflict co-parenting that had defined her children's childhoods, and asking questions she could not stop asking.

What role did the conflict play?

What did her children carry because of it?

What would she have done differently if she had known what she knows now?

Kelly reached out and asked to have this conversation here, because she believes that what she learned at great cost is something other parents can still choose to learn a different way.

This is one of the most generous conversations this show has ever had. Susan Guthrie and Kelly explore the real cost of co-parenting conflict on children, what it actually looks like to drop the rope after years of high-conflict engagement, how the ecosystem around a divorce often makes things worse, and what repair looks like when you still have years ahead to offer it.

Covered in this episode:

• Why dropping the rope has to start with you, and why waiting for your co-parent to change first means waiting forever
• How the divorce ecosystem, including attorneys, family, and friends, can fan the flames of conflict without anyone asking what you actually want to protect
• What high-conflict co-parenting looks like through the eyes of the children living inside it, and why each child carries it differently
• How the BIFF communication method helped shift a years-long dynamic, and what that looked like in practice
• Why it is never too late to begin repair, and what choosing differently right now can mean for the moments still ahead

Referenced Episodes from the Archive:

• Day One with a Divorce Coach: First Steps with Kelly Myers
• Avoiding the Divorce Hangover From the Start with Kelly Myers

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This week's guest: Kelly Myers

Kelly understands that divorce is one of life's most challenging transitions. She's a divorce and co-parenting coach, mediator, and communication specialist passionate about supporting individuals and families as they move through the complexities of divorce and co-parenting. She partners with clients to understand the divorce process, manage emotional and financial stress, and make strategic decisions throughout their divorce. Her work helps clients stay focused on what matters most while making choices that align with their long-term goals.

Kelly specializes in supporting parents as they discover how to become strong co-parenting partners, even when the romantic relationship has ended. She helps parents see their relationship through a new lens-as partners in raising their children-guiding them to create respectful communication patterns and develop comprehensive, child-centered parenting plans that go far beyond custody schedules. Her approach centers on what children need emotionally and developmentally during this transition, while helping parents maintain a healthy family dynamic across two homes.

In addition to her direct work with clients, Kelly loves mentoring other professionals. She serves as a co-trainer for the Co-Parenting Specialist® Training Program and provides professional development to divorce professionals seeking to use a more client-centered approach. Kelly's deepest commitment is to help families-both the ones she works with directly and those served by the professionals she trains-have less conflict, more cooperation, and real hope for their futures.

Website: http://www.firststepsdivorce.com

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/kellymyerscoach

Instagram: http://instagram.comfirststeps_divorce

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If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website:divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram:https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert onThe Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more athttps://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

The question comes up in almost every divorce: what happens to the house? It is usually one of the biggest assets of the marriage, one of the biggest debts, and one of the most emotionally loaded decisions people face. Wanting to keep the house and actually being able to keep the house are two very different things.

This week Susan is bringing back one of the most downloaded archived conversations from the Divorce and Beyond library, a conversation with Tami Wollensak, licensed mortgage loan originator and Certified Divorce Lending Professional, walking through the real financial realities of keeping the marital home.

Together, Susan and Tami unpack what it actually takes to keep the house in a divorce, from refinancing challenges and equity buyouts to qualifying for a mortgage on a single income, the hidden costs of homeownership, and why making this decision without proper financial planning can create serious problems long after the ink is dry.

Covered in this episode:

• Why wanting to keep the house and being able to keep the house are two very different things, and what a Certified Divorce Lending Professional can do to help close that gap
• How equity is calculated, why the purchase price is not the value, and what it means to buy out your spouse's share as part of the refinance
• Why maintenance, alimony, and child support do not automatically count as qualifying income and what lenders actually need to see
• How a missed mortgage payment can drop credit scores by hundreds of points and why "it was their responsibility" has never once removed a negative mark from a credit report
• Why getting a home inspection before finalizing your divorce agreement is one of the most overlooked and important steps you can take

KEEPING THE HOUSE: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU SIGN

Almost everyone walks into divorce negotiations with the same instinct: I want to keep the house. It is understandable. It is the family home. It is where the children have put their heads on pillows for years. But signing a settlement agreement without knowing whether you can actually execute it is not a successful negotiation. Some of the most important things to understand before you commit, are discussed in this episode:

• Know the fair market value of your home today, not the purchase price, and understand what the actual equity is and how it will be divided
• Understand that keeping the house means refinancing into your name alone, which means qualifying on your income alone, and your payment will be based on current market rates, not what you are paying today
• Work with a divorce mortgage professional early in the process, before the settlement agreement is signed, so you can generate real options rather than make decisions based on guesses
• Get a home inspection before finalizing the agreement, just as you would when buying a new home, so you know exactly what you are signing up for
• If your spouse agrees to stay on the mortgage temporarily, set up protections: require advance notice if a payment may be missed, and request a duplicate mortgage statement so you can monitor it yourself

The goal is not to win the house. The goal is to make the decision that sets you up for the strongest future. Get the answers, both good and bad, and then decide.

Referenced Episodes from the Archive:

• How to Get Your Act Together So that You Can Tackle Your Divorce with Alex Beattie of Divide & Thrive
• The Solution for Tackling the Divorce Detour with Storey Jones, Creator of dtour.life
• It's All About the House: What You Need to Think About Before You Decide to Keep It with Tami Wollensak

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This Week's Sponsors:

Hello Divorce - Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

Yumiyu - YUMIYU Jewelry is Susan’s favorite source for meaningful, handcrafted jewelry designed to empower women and celebrate individuality. Each piece is made with care, using high-quality materials like real gold and vermeil, and is water-resistant, non-tarnish, and hypoallergenic.

Explore their stunning collection atyumiyujewelry.com and find your perfect piece today! Be sure to use Code: “BEYOND” for 20% off!

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This week's guest: Tami Wollensak

Tami Wollensak is a Divorce Mortgage Specialist and VP Loan Consultant with New American Funding (NMLS #1963450), bringing over 30 years of experience in the mortgage industry. She specializes in helping individuals navigate one of the most overlooked and misunderstood aspects of divorce: what happens to the marital home.

After going through her own divorce, Tami saw firsthand how financial decisions made during this time can have long lasting consequences. Today, she works closely with individuals, attorneys, and mediators to bridge the gap between divorce agreements and mortgage lending, ensuring that what is decided on paper can actually be executed in real life.

Tami’s approach is calm, strategic, and solution focused. She helps her clients understand their options clearly so they can move forward with confidence, whether that means keeping the home, selling it, or buying again in the future.

She is the founder of Empowered Uncoupling, a platform dedicated to helping people transition from endings into new beginnings with clarity, confidence, and financial empowerment. For those navigating this decision now, Tami offers a simple starting point with her guide, Can I Keep the House?, along with a complimentary 15 minute consultation to help bring clarity to the next steps.

Website https://www.empowereduncoupling.com

Book a 15-Minute Consultation https://calendly.com/tamiwollensak/15min

Ebook: Can I Keep the House? https://iwantthehouse.com

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@empowereduncoupling

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tamiwollensak

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamiwollensak

______________________________________________________________________

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website:divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram:https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert onThe Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more athttps://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Do you know what almost no one tells you when you are creating a parenting plan? Some of the biggest co-parenting battles after divorce will not be over the things you think. It may not be the major custody decision or where the children will primarily live. It may be the late pickup, the unanswered text, the forgotten backpack, or the soccer registration deadline no one thought to clarify.

That is why Susan Guthrie is joined by Gabrielle Hartley, attorney, mediator, parenting conflict expert, TEDx speaker, bestselling author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate, and creator of Mediator Gabby. Gabrielle has spent decades helping families navigate separation with greater clarity, less conflict, and better outcomes for children. Together, they get practical about why so many parenting plans break down after the divorce is finalized and what it actually takes to build one that holds up in real life.

This conversation is for anyone creating a parenting plan, already co-parenting, or supporting someone who is. Because choosing what feels easier right now has a way of creating a much more difficult problem to solve later.

Covered in this episode:

• Why most co-parenting conflict has nothing to do with bad parenting
• What makes a parenting plan fall apart once real life takes over
• How the "easier now, harder later" trap quietly sets families up for more conflict
• Why clarity matters more than detail when building a durable parenting plan
• How Mediator Gabby helps parents arrive prepared, stay focused, and reach better agreements

WHAT IF AN AI MEDIATOR COULD HELP YOU BUILD A PARENTING PLAN BEFORE YOU EVER WALK INTO A ROOM?

There are approximately 29-million children living in single-parent families in the United States, and the vast majority of their parents never have access to a lawyer, a mediator, or any professional guidance at all. Mediator Gabby, Gabrielle's AI-supported parenting plan tool was built with those families in mind.

Using this custom AI tool, each parent completes a guided onboarding on their own before any joint conversation begins, working through the full landscape of a parenting plan so that by the time they sit down together, they already know where they agree, where they do not, and what needs to be worked through.

Here is what that preparation can do for families:

• Save three to five hours of introductory conversation before mediation even begins
• Help parents arrive focused and prepared rather than reactive and overwhelmed
• Surface the details most people do not think to address until they become conflict points
• Lower the emotional temperature in the room so real resolution can happen faster
• Keep the process moving forward instead of stalling on issues that feel impossible in the moment

A parenting plan is the operating system for your family's next chapter. The clearer and more intentional it is from the start, the less conflict it creates down the road, and the better the experience for your children.

FREE DOWNLOAD: Parenting Plan Reality Check: The Questions Every Co-Parent Needs to Answer Before Finalizing a Parenting Plan + Companion Article Find the article and free download on the website at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/latest-episode

Referenced Episodes from the Archive:

• The 7 Most-Asked Divorce Questions on ChatGPT, Answered by a Top Family Law Attorney with Susan Guthrie
• Discovery Demystified: Why Fact-Finding is the Most Important Step in Your Divorce with Susan Guthrie
• Conflict Resolution Made Easy: Managaing the Five Destructive Behaviors We All Have with Gabrielle Hartley
• Gabrielle Hartley Has the Secret to Helping Us All Get Along Better and It Starts with Y.E.S.
• Is Your Divorce Taking Too Long? BLITZ IT and BE DONE with Gabrielle Hartley
• The Best Thing to Happen to Divorce in Ages with Very Special Guest, Gabrielle Hartley

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

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Meet This Week’s Guest:

Gabrielle Hartley is a New York and Massachusetts divorce attorney, mediator, author, two-time TEDx speaker, and legal tech founder working at the intersection of family dispute resolution and technology.

She is the founder of Better Parenting Plan and creator of Mediator Gabby, a technology-supported platform designed to help parents and family professionals reduce conflict and build clearer, more durable parenting agreements.

Gabrielle is also consulting with the American Arbitration Association to help launch its first-ever family mediation panel. A former court attorney to Hon. Jeffrey Sunshine in the New York Supreme Court, Matrimonial Division, she has spent more than twenty-five years helping families resolve complex divorce and custody matters constructively.

She is the author of Better Apart and The Secret to Getting Along and serves on the ABA Dispute Resolution Council.

Website: http://betterparentingplan.com

Instagram: http://instagram.com/gabriellehartleyesq

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This Week's Sponsors:

Hello Divorce - Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

Yumiyu - YUMIYU Jewelry is Susan’s favorite source for meaningful, handcrafted jewelry designed to empower women and celebrate individuality. Each piece is made with care, using high-quality materials like real gold and vermeil, and is water-resistant, non-tarnish, and hypoallergenic.

Explore their stunning collection atyumiyujewelry.com and find your perfect piece today! Be sure to use Code: “BEYOND” for 20% off!

_______________________________________________________________

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website:divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram:https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert onThe Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more athttps://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

One of the biggest fears people face when contemplating divorce is the financial unknown. If you are sitting out there right now feeling overwhelmed, unsure where to begin, or worried about money, this conversation was made for you.

This week Susan is bringing you one of the most listened to and most shared episodes from the Divorce and Beyond archive, a conversation with certified divorce financial analyst Hollis Hardiman, also a certified mediator and certified collaborative professional, walking through the foundational financial preparation that can make such a difference when first starting the divorce process.

Together, Susan and Hollis get into what it really takes to protect your finances as you enter the process, from building the right professional support team to understanding what your household actually costs to approaching the big decisions, like the house, with clarity and an open mind instead of fear.

Covered in this episode:

• Why money is the number one fear people face when contemplating divorce and why the right professional support team changes everything
• How to start building a picture of your finances from what you already have access to, even if your spouse handled the money
• Why alimony and support are temporary and what it means to plan now for when they end
• How a CDFA helps clients protect their finances not just during the divorce process but for their financial future as well

HOW TO HANDLE THE MOST COMMON QUESTION ASKED DURING DIVORCE, "CAN I KEEP THE HOUSE?"

Almost everyone walks into the divorce process asking the same thing: can I keep the house? It is an understandable instinct. But when keeping the house becomes a fixed position rather than one option among many, it can stall the process, drain resources, and leave you worse off financially in the long run. Some things to consider, as discussed in this episode include:

• One household income divided into two households means the math will not work the same way
• Understand what it would actually cost to keep the house: refinancing, mortgage qualification, maintenance, and carrying costs
• Explore all the options: keeping, selling, renting, downsizing
• You can put the puzzle together a lot of different ways in divorce, but only if you stay open to looking at all the pieces

The goal is not to win the house. The goal is to make the decision that sets you up for the strongest financial future. Get the answers, both good and bad, and then decide.

Referenced Episodes from the Archive:

How to Get Your Act Together So that You Can Tackle Your Divorce with Alex Beattie of Divide & ThriveThe Solution for Tackling the Divorce Detour with Storey Jones, Creator of dtour.life

It’s All About the House: What You Need to Think About Before You Decide to Keep It with Tami Wollensak

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This Week’s Guest: Hollis Hardiman, CDFA

Hollis provides financial, retirement, and wealth management services to her clients. She specializes in helping people navigate major life transitions including divorce, the loss of a spouse, and preparing for retirement.

As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Hollis firmly believes in building a support team of divorce professionals including attorneys, mediators, and therapists that can help her clients make the best decisions during these emotional times. As a child of divorced parents, Hollis witnessed firsthand the consequences when sound financial decisions are not made.

Hollis is certified in both mediation and collaborative divorce. She is well trained to advocate for one party or serve as a neutral party for the couple during the divorce process. While being part of the support system with the attorneys and mediators, Hollis is able to guide her clients through their short-term and long-term settlement options.

Hollis grew up in Fairfield, CT, and now splits her time between Fairfield, CT, and Palm City, FL. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her husband and extended family, walking her two dogs, and playing tennis.

Investment advice offered through Merit Financial Group, LLC, an SEC registered investment adviser.

Phone: 203.423.5985

E-mail: hhardiman@meritfa.com

Website: https://divorceresourcect.com/about/

______________________________________________________________________

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website:divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram:https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert onThe Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more athttps://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Most people who go through divorce will tell you the same thing: "I was blindsided." But were they really? Or were the signs there all along, just not recognized for what they were?

That is the question at the center of this conversation, and Susan Guthrie is bringing in one of the true icons of family law to answer it. Marilyn Chinitz, partner at Blank Rome and renowned matrimonial attorney with more than four decades of experience, has sat across from thousands of clients who never saw it coming. She knows the red flags. She knows the financial blind spots. And she does not mince words.

Right now, a memoir is taking over the national conversation. Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden has ignited a bellwether of attention. This book has people everywhere asking, "How did she not see it?" Susan and Marilyn use this moment as a launching pad to go somewhere deeper: the patterns, the red flags, and the financial realities that every person in a marriage or contemplating one needs to understand.

Covered in this episode:

• The red flags hiding in plain sight, including subtle communication patterns, financial avoidance, and how your spouse treats others
• A client story that shows exactly how a prenup gives you a heads up about who you are marrying
• How trusts work in a marriage, why they are often set up completely legitimately, and when they cross into "funny business" that courts will not tolerate
• Why you do not divorce the same person you married, and what that really means for how you need to prepare

THIS CONVERSATION ALSO DIGS INTO WHY BEING AN EQUAL PARTNER MEANS BEING AN INFORMED ONE

Assets could be held in a trust you did not know about. The home could be rented. The wealth could be encumbered by debt. And if you never asked, you may not find out until you are sitting across from a divorce attorney.

• Ask to sit down and go through the finances together, even once a year

• Review bank statements, tax returns, and credit card accounts

• Understand what is in your name, what is joint, and what is held in a trust

• If your spouse brushes you off or refuses, that is a red flag worth taking seriously

• Get professionals around you: a financial advisor, a forensic accountant, and an attorney, even before anything goes wrong

This is not about suspicion. It is about being an equal partner and an informed one. The time to understand what you have is during a happy, intact marriage, not across a conference table from a divorce attorney. You are better off having that conversation early.

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Red Flags You Didn’t See Checklist + Companion Article

Susan has created two resources to help you move from hearing this to actually using it.The Red Flags You Didn't See Checklist walks you through the patterns discussed in this episode and gives you a way to reflect more intentionally on your own situation. The companion article goes deeper into the topic, drawing from this broader conversation and what is playing out in real life right now. Both are available at divorceandbeyondpod.com.

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

Books Referenced:
Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage, Belle Burden

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This Week’s Guest: Marilyn Chinitz

Marilyn Chinitz is a Partner at Blank Rome with 40 years of experience in every facet of family law. She is known for representing A-list celebrities and influential, high-profile clients in cases that have received national and international attention.

https://www.blankrome.com/people/marilyn-b-chinitz#biography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marilyn-chinitz-a262a91b/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/blank-rome-llp/
https://www.instagram.com/marilynchinitz/

This Week's Sponsor: Hello Divorce

Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website:divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram:https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert onThe Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more athttps://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Over the past couple of weeks, headlines have described a tragic murder suicide involving a couple going through a divorce, once again framing it as a "contentious divorce." Let's be very clear about something: divorce did not cause what happened. Divorce does not cause murder. Domestic violence causes murder.

That is why Susan Guthrie is doing this difficult but important solo episode. She walks through the patterns of abuse, the high risk indicators that change a situation entirely, why the moment of separation is so dangerous, and what a thoughtful, strategic exit actually looks like.

This conversation moves from awareness to action, so if any part of what you hear feels familiar, you have something calm and structured to carry with you as you think through your next steps.

Covered in this episode:

• Why the moment of separation is often the most dangerous time, and how understanding that allows you to move more thoughtfully and strategically.
• The high risk indicators to take seriously: strangulation, threats to kill, access to firearms, stalking, extreme jealousy or control, and statements like "if I can't have you, no one will."
• What a thoughtful, strategic exit actually looks like, from quiet planning and digital safety to building a small, trusted circle of support.
• Why your children and pets must be part of your safety plan from the very beginning.

⚠️ IMPORTANT: ACCESS TO A FIREARM SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASES YOUR RISK

If there is access to a firearm and you are leaving, you have to take that seriously. It significantly increases risk. This is where having professional guidance before you leave, and as you are making your plan, becomes critical.

• Find a domestic violence advocate
• Find a divorce coach who specializes in helping people experiencing domestic abuse or violence
• Meet with an attorney who understands the risks
• Include your children and your pets in your safety plan from the beginning
• Do not announce your plan before you are ready, as that can increase your risk

This is not a time for informal arrangements. The structure of your plan will matter, and getting guidance early on and plotting your strategy so that it is fully developed can make a meaningful difference.

FREE DOWNLOAD: Your Safety First, A Practical Exit and Protection Plan for High-Risk Relationships

Susan created a companion guide to go along with this episode. In a moment like this, you should not have to remember everything you are hearing on a podcast episode. This is a calm, structured, step-by-step resource to help you think through your situation and your next steps. Find it here.

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

Referenced Episodes from the Archive

• Everything You Need to Know to Get a Restraining Order with Attorney Uswah Khan
• Empowered Advocacy: Effectively Sharing Your Abuse Story and Achieving Justice with Beverly Price
• Walking on Eggshells in Family Court: Meet Aimee Says, the AI Tool Transforming Survivor Support with Anne Wintemute

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Aimee Says: Support for Survivors Creating a Safety Plan

Aimee Says is a private, AI-powered tool designed to support survivors navigating post-separation abuse by helping you document experiences, identify patterns of coercive control, and organize your story with greater clarity. This can be especially valuable when creating a safety plan, preparing to communicate with professionals, or navigating the legal system. It is a supportive tool, not a substitute for professional help, and if you are in immediate danger, please contact a domestic violence hotline or local resource.

Learn more here: https://www.aimeesays.com/en/home?via=susan and use code SUSAN for a special listener offer.

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This Week's Sponsor: Blue Mercury

Treat yourself to luxury skincare, makeup, and fragrance favorites from Blue Mercury, your destination for beauty and self-care. Divorce & Beyond listeners receive 15% off their first order when they use the special link in the show notes. Because you deserve to look and feel your best, inside and out.

You must use this link to receive the 15% off on your first Blue Mercury order: https://divorcebeyond.com/Blue-Mercury

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website:divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram:https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert onThe Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more athttps://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

You have probably done it. Typed a question about your divorce into ChatGPT or another AI tool late at night, when you did not want to call anyone else. You are not alone.

In this solo episode, family law attorney and mediator Susan Guthrie answers the 7 most common divorce questions people are asking AI, with the depth and 35-plus years of experience that make the difference between a good-enough answer and the right one.

The 7 questions covered:

• What are the most common mistakes people make during divorce?
• How can I find the right resources and support to help me through divorce?
• What are the best ways to communicate with my ex-spouse?
• What are effective strategies for co-parenting after divorce?
• How can I use divorce as an opportunity for growth and transformation?
• How do I protect my financial future during and after divorce?
• What should I know about the legal process my attorney might not tell me?

Susan also covers how to use AI smartly during your divorce, including three legal risks every person in an active proceeding should understand before typing private details into a commercial AI.

IMPORTANT: A LEGAL CAUTION ABOUT USING AI IN YOUR DIVORCE

This episode covers what AI gets right and wrong about divorce. It also addresses something rarely discussed in public: the legal risks of using commercial AI tools like ChatGPT or Gemini while going through a divorce proceeding.

• Do not enter private financial details, asset information, or custody specifics into commercial AI platforms
• Case law is still developing, but courts have already ruled that AI conversations can be subject to discovery in legal proceedings
• Entering attorney-client privileged communications, therapist notes, doctor-patient information, or financial professional advice into a commercial AI may waive those legal privileges permanently

Use AI to understand general concepts. Keep the specific details of your situation in privileged, protected spaces: your attorney's office, your therapist's room, your mediator's table.

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Divorce Questions Everyone Is Asking AI, a companion guide with key takeaways and resources. Find it here

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

_______________________________________________________________________

This Week's Sponsor: Hello Divorce

Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

________________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

What If Your Divorce Case Is Already Building Itself Without You Knowing?

Your texts. Your Venmo transactions. Your location history. Your Google searches. Even the files you thought you deleted. In divorce, your digital life is not just part of your story. It is the evidence. And right now, the advice circulating on social media about how to handle it is often incomplete, misleading, and in some cases dangerously wrong.

In this solo episode, Susan Guthrie, top divorce attorney, mediator, and host of Divorce & Beyond, cuts through the noise with the clarity that comes from more than 35 years in the courtroom. She walks through what is trending on TikTok and Instagram right now, what popular media is actually getting right, and where the real legal risks live for people who act on bad information.

Because access to information is not the same as having the legal right to use it. And one decision made in a moment of frustration can create consequences that follow your case all the way to its end.

What You Will Learn

• What social media is getting right about digital footprints in divorce, and exactly where the advice breaks down
• Why the most damaging mistakes happen in moments of urgency, not deliberate choices
• The critical difference between building a case strategy and simply trying to catch your spouse, and why that distinction matters legally
• What courts are actually ruling about AI tools in divorce, including a real decision finding that AI chat logs were discoverable by the other side
• Why more information does not automatically strengthen your position, and how improperly obtained evidence can become leverage against you
• Five actionable takeaways, including why you must assume your entire digital life is discoverable from the moment divorce becomes a possibility

Free Resource: The Tech Mistakes That Can Destroy Your Divorce Case

Seven costly errors people are making right now with digital evidence in divorce, and what to do instead. This practical guide includes a before-you-act checklist, a social media reality check, and clear guidance on AI tools. Written by a nationally recognized divorce attorney.

Get instant access at divorceandbeyondpod.com or click here: https://divorcebeyond.com/tech-traps-resource

This Week's Sponsor: Hello Divorce

Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

About Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.