The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast

In this conversation, Michael Preston and Ed Peterson explore the intersection of addiction and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They discuss the importance of understanding addiction through an attachment lens, viewing it as a protective strategy rather than a moral failing. The dialogue emphasizes the emotional experiences of individuals struggling with addiction and the impact on their relationships. They also address the challenges therapists face when working with couples where substance use is present, highlighting the need for compassion and understanding in the therapeutic process. In this conversation, Ed Peterson and Michael Preston delve into the complexities of addiction, emotional responses, and the importance of attunement in therapy. They discuss the challenges faced by partners of individuals struggling with addiction, the need for compassion, and the significance of understanding underlying emotional needs.

To learn more about working with Ed Peterson visit

https://petersonfamilytherapy.com

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.http://www.michaelprestonlpc.comTo join the Waitlist for Michael Preston's Tango Deliberate Practice Group visitwww.michaelprestonlpc.com/tangowaitlistTo register For Michael Barnett's Upcoming addiction Training Visithttps://awakeningscenter.org/product/eft-and-addiction/To register for the Upcoming EFTCLA Externship in November visit:https://www.drsilvinairwin.comAttribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Andrea Medaris on pacing EFT with trauma, disorganized attachment, and keeping couples in the window of toleranceMichael Preston talks with Andrea Medaris of EFT Maine about working with couples where trauma is in the room, how to pace EFT without becoming too cautious, and how to stay present when both partners are getting activated at once. Andrea also shares how she supports newer EFT learners through residency cohorts and why supervision matters so much in trauma work.In this episode, they focus on how developmental trauma shapes attachment, how to recognize flooding and disorganized attachment in session, and how to keep making room for both partners without losing the cycle. Andrea also discusses the role of transparency, validation, and constant check-ins when working near the edge of a client’s tolerance.

To work with Adrea visit:

https://www.centerforrelationships.org/about-the-director

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

To join the Waitlist for the Michael's Tango Deliberate Practice Group visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tangowaitlist

To register For Michael Barnett's Upcoming addiction Training Visit

https://awakeningscenter.org/product/eft-and-addiction/

To register for the Upcoming EFTCLA Externship in November visit:

https://www.drsilvinairwin.com/offerings/p/externship-2026

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Deliberate Practice in EFT:

Why Scripts, Repetition, and Micro-Skills Matter.

Michael Preston is joined by Kamila Kaminska for a focused conversation on how therapists actually build EFT skill. They unpack what deliberate practice is, what it is not, and why small, repeated interventions can change both clinical competence and the therapist’s way of seeing clients. The conversation explores how therapists can move from broad conceptual understanding to embodied skill, why specific scripts matter, and how deliberate practice can address both clinical technique and personal blocks.

Key Topics

• What deliberate practice really means: Kamila defines it as focused, intentional rehearsal of one small therapeutic skill at a time.
• What deliberate practice is not: The conversation distinguishes deliberate practice from simply discussing a case or participating in a broad role play.
• Why therapists plateau: Experience alone does not guarantee continued growth. Without intentional skill development, therapists may become more comfortable without becoming more effective.
• The value of focusing on one skill: Michael shares how narrowing his focus to a single part of the EFT Tango helped him build confidence and competence without becoming overwhelmed.
• How deliberate practice progresses: The process may be sequential for some therapists and more exploratory for others, depending on their specific learning edge.
• Why scripts matter: Repeating exact therapeutic language helps interventions become part of procedural memory, making them easier to access in emotionally intense moments.
• Using supervision effectively: The speakers discuss how a broad suggestion such as “validate more” becomes more useful when translated into specific words a therapist can practice.
• Working with personal blocks: Deliberate practice can address moments when therapists freeze, lose their thread, become judgmental, or feel dysregulated in session.
• Finding your own therapeutic voice: Kamila explains why learning and repeating scripts does not erase a therapist’s individuality. Structure can provide the foundation from which personal style develops.
• Learning from teachers: Michael describes studying phrases and interventions from experienced EFT clinicians, then adapting them into his own work.
• Making practice manageable: Deliberate practice does not require hours every day. Even a few focused minutes can help keep skills fresh and support steady growth.

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

To join the Waitlist for the Michael's Tango Deliberate Practice Group visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tangowaitlist

EFT externships, LGBTQ+ therapy, and dementia: What therapists need to know!

Michael Preston talks with Sandra Taylor of the British Emotionally Focused Therapy Center about what makes EFT externships powerful in person, how to prepare for a four-day training, and what therapists often miss when working with LGBTQ+ couples.

Sandra also shares deeply personal, clinically rich reflections on working with couples facing dementia, including grief, connection, and the idea of “rementing.”

To Join Sandra, Sarah, and Michael along with the rest of the BEFT Centre Training team in Edinburgh visit:

https://www.beftcentre.org/efct-in-person-edinburgh-oct-2026/

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for supervision visit www.michaelprestonlpc.comDon't forget to follow The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast.Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Michael Preston talks with Laurie Watson about why sex belongs in couples therapy from the very first session, how sexual and emotional cycles intersect, and how attachment shapes desire, vulnerability, and repair. Laurie shares a practical EFT lens for understanding sexual pursuer-withdrawer patterns, coercion, shame, affair recovery, and how therapists can normalize sexual conversation without taking over the couple’s work.

To Preorder Laurie and George's new book Brave Love, Great Sex visit https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Love-Great-Sex-Relationships/dp/B0G7CTTFTK

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for supervision visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com

Don't forget to follow The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast.

EFT Intensives with Kelly Bourque

Michael Preston talks with Kelly Bourque, resident EFT intensive specialist, about how to screen couples, structure EFT intensives, and decide whether this model is the right fit for a therapist or a couple. Kelly shares the practical systems she has refined over years of doing intensives full time, plus the pacing, safety, and follow-up work that make the model effective.In this episode, they focus on what actually changes in an intensive, what does not change, and why clarity matters more than trying to force a breakthrough. Kelly also explains how her training and e-course help therapists prepare with paperwork, consult structure, and realistic expectations.

To learn more about attending Kelly's EFT intensives trainings visit

www.RedTherapyGroup.com

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com

www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

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In this episode of the Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast, Michael Preston and Katarina Sandizell explore the nuances of integrating psychoeducation within EFT sessions while maintaining emotional engagement. They discuss strategies for therapists to stay authentic, avoid over-explaining, and foster client vulnerability—all while navigating their own personal and attachment patterns.

LINKS

To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in September, Go to:

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

To learn about working with Katarina visit

www.lovefrontiertherapy.com

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com

www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

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Navigating EFT with the LGBTQIA+ Community: Insights from Matthew HarrisIn this episode, Michael Preston is joined by Matthew Harris, an EFT supervisor with a rich background in working with LGBTQIA+ clients. They explore how EFT can be adapted to better serve sexual and gender minority populations, emphasizing authenticity, curiosity, and cultural humility. Whether you're new to this community or seeking to deepen your practice, this conversation offers practical insights and inspiring reflections.

LINKS

To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in September, Go to:

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

To learn about working with Matthew Harris visit

www.matthewharrismft.com

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com

www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

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Breaking Down Barriers: Integrating Sexuality & EFT — An Expert Conversation.

In this discussion, Lisa Blum shares her insights on how EFT therapists can confidently incorporate discussions of sex and intimacy into their practice. We explore practical strategies for normalizing conversations around sexuality, addressing desire discrepancies, and enhancing relational safety in therapy.

LINKS

To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in JULY, Go to:

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

To learn about Lisa and Sil's Hold Me Tight Weekend or working with Dr. Blum as a Supervisor visit

www.drlisablum.com

https://www.eftresourcecenter.com/

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com

www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

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Navigating Family Dynamics and Therapist Self-Care in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)In this insightful episode, Michael Preston and EFT trainer Sarah McConnell explore the nuances of working with family systems, shifting from couple to family therapy, and maintaining therapist resilience. This conversation offers practical frameworks and reflections for therapists seeking to deepen their understanding and effectiveness in EFT.Main Topics:

• Transitioning from couples to family therapy: hierarchy vs. equality
• Stages of EFFT and their focus on caregiver availability and child blocks
• Validating behaviors in family sessions: tracking and understanding responses
• Managing self-awareness and self-care as a therapist in complex sessions
• Simplifying EFT process for ongoing growth and managing messy sessions
• Recognizing and working with pursuer and withdrawer cycles
• Building secure attachment through responsive caregiving
• Resources and upcoming trainings in EFT and EFFT models

• Sarah shares her perspective on shifting from couple to family models and the importance of understanding stages in EFFT
• Discussion on how attachment principles underpin family work, emphasizing caregiver availability
• Techniques for validating different behaviors and keeping the focus on process during family sessions
• Practical advice for therapists to stay grounded and self-compassionate when sessions become complicated
• The significance of ongoing practice, reflection, and community engagement in mastering EFT skills

To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in JULY, Go to:

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

To learn about working with Sarah McConnell visit:

https://www.beftcentre.org/

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com

www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

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Join Michael Preston and Rachel Chiu as they explore the impact of patriarchy and misogyny on emotional health, gender roles, and relationships. This conversation offers deep insights into how systemic oppression shapes personal experiences and therapeutic practices.

keywords patriarchy, misogyny, gender roles, emotional health, systemic oppression, EFT, therapy, cultural narratives, gender equality

key topics

• Impact of patriarchy and misogyny on emotional health
• How systemic oppression influences gender roles and relationships
• Strategies for therapists to address cultural narratives in session

To Reach out for Supervision with Rachel Chiu visit her website:

https://www.restoretherapysc.com/eft-supervision

To Learn more about EFT Triage 2026 in Los Vegas visit: https://efttriage.com/

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com

www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit:

WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist

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Building Diversity and Addressing Complex Issues in EFT: Insights with Jenna Irvin.

Join us as Jenna Irvin shares her journey in increasing diversity within the EFT community, her work with BIPOC therapists, and practical strategies for managing complex couples therapy cases.

To Reach out for Supervision with Jena Irvin visit her website:

https://www.smyrnacouplescounseling.com/supervision

To Learn more about Core Skills Training in Atlanta this summer visit: https://www.eftatlanta.com

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

MichaelBarnettlpc.com

DrSilvinaIrwin.com

To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit:

WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist

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Supporting Neurodiverse Couples and Therapists in EFT: Insights from Grazel GarciaIn this episode, we dive into neurodiversity with Grazel Garcia, author of Cross Signals, sharing strategies to adapt EFT for neurodiverse clients and honoring the therapist's own nervous system. Whether you're working with neurodiverse couples or navigating your own sensory sensitivities, this conversation offers practical guidance grounded in neuroaffirmative practices.Main Topics:

• How to modify EFT techniques for neurodiverse clients, including pacing and language adjustments
• Recognizing neurological differences in emotional expression and processing
• Attuning to sensory sensitivities and creating a neurodiverse-friendly therapy environment
• Supporting neurodivergent therapists to self-regulate in challenging sessions
• Bridging understanding between neurodivergent and neurotypical partners through attachment bids and love language

• The importance of slowing down and pacing interventions based on client neurotypes
• How to recognize and validate different ways emotions are felt and expressed
• Using neuroaffirmative language to validate clients’ internal experiences
• Practical tips like fidget toys, lighting adjustments, and pacing strategies
• The significance of self-awareness and regulation for therapists working with high-stimulus couples
• Exploring attachment behaviors that look different but carry meaningful connection

For information about working with Grazel Garcia:

Grazel Garcia Psychotherapy & Associates has rebranded to Grayslate.

You can reach Grazel directly at either email addresses:

For book info and speaking engagements, workshops: grazel@grazelgarciatherapy.com

For mental health services:

grazel@grayslatetherapy.com

Book "Crossed Signals" sign up link: https://grazelgarciatherapy.com/crossed-signals/ Release date: June 2026

To Learn more about Core Skills Training in Atlanta this summer visit: https://www.eftatlanta.com

As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites:

MichaelBarnettlpc.com

DrSilvinaIrwin.com

or to work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website:

www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com

To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit:

WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist

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Michael Preston meets with EFT Supervisor, Annabel Safinia, for the first episode of The Supervision Tapes.

In their discussion Michael presents Annabelle with questions submittied by the audience and the two discuss how they would approach them from an EFT Framework.

Annabelle shares her insights on handling challenging moments with confidence. She discusses how to recognize and slow down escalation, to prevent session derailment and turn crises into teaching moments.

You’ll discover how to interpret action tendencies like pursuit and withdrawal, and how to work empathically with client defenses rather than against them. Plus, learn the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion as a therapist, so you can stay grounded when everything feels like chaos.

Michael and Annabelle break down specific techniques for pausing and grounding during high-stakes moments, including a playful Western metaphor to help you see escalation as a runaway carriage that needs gently pulling over. They offer practical advice on managing your own internal reactions—whether it’s freeze, panic, or self-criticism—and turning these responses into opportunities for growth.

Annabel Safinia is an EFT supervisor based in London, known for her approach to foundational skills practice and her passion for helping clinicians master the ‘meat and potatoes’ of EFT. Her work emphasizes the crucial role of therapist self-awareness in transforming therapeutic challenges into opportunities for healing. Perfect for EFT clinicians seeking tools to manage session turbulence.
To learn more about working with Annabelle you can visit her website

www.calrelationshipclinic.com

www.annabellesafinia.com

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

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In this episode, hosts Michael Preston, Silvina Irwin, and Michael Barnett reflect on the foundational elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), focusing on Stage Two, particularly the critical moments of mismatch and vulnerability. They share insights, real cases, and practical strategies for working with trauma, couples' risk-taking, and creating transformational experiences in therapy.Main Topics:

• The significance of mismatch moments in fostering change in EFT and how they challenge clients' learned safety rules
• The neurobiological and emotional implications of high-risk moments in couples therapy
• Strategies for working with trauma-affected couples, including pacing, validating vulnerability, and managing triggers
• The role of narrative and coherence in consolidating breakthroughs in session
• Innovations and upcoming EFT trainings, including the EFT Triage Conference and specialization topics (sexual trauma, addiction, and ruptures)
• The importance of therapists' self-awareness and patience during fragile moments of change

• https://efttriage.com/

• https://michaelbarnettlpc.com/
• https://drsilvinairwin.com/
• https://michaelprestonlpc.com/

Thank you for being part of the journey—your engagement fuels the ongoing exploration of EFT’s potentials. We look forward to continuing this work with you in season two!

Discover how emotionally focused therapy (EFT) leverages deep, experiential work to create transformative change in relationships. In this episode, we explore the nuance of stage two enactments, how to recognize when clients are ready, and the vital role of daring to go into painful, disowned fears to foster healing.In this episode:

• The distinct focus of EFT stage two: enactments of attachment fears and needs
• The importance of creating disconfirming experiences to rewire neural networks
• How to gauge client readiness for heightened emotional work
• The critical role of therapist self-awareness and practice in depth work
• Strategies for managing the challenges of zoom-based EFT sessions
• The significance of trust, alliance, and stabilizing stages before deep interventions
• Encouragement for therapists learning to do this transformative, experiential depth work

For information on the EFT Triage Conference visit:

www.efttriage.com

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

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In this episode of the Emotionally Focused Therapy podcast, hosts Michael Preston, Michael Barnett, and Dr. Sylvina Irwin delve into the intricacies of transitioning from stage one to stage two of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They discuss the importance of understanding the different goals of each stage, the role of the therapist, and the significance of heightening emotional experiences. The conversation emphasizes the need to explore attachment fears and working models, highlighting how partners can provide support during this process. The hosts share insights on how to elicit deep emotional experiences and the healing power of vulnerability in relationships, ultimately aiming to create lasting change through secure attachments.

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

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In this episode, EFT trainers and supervisors delve into critical aspects of practicing EFT, from handling client risks during stages two and three to maintaining self-care as a therapist. Discover practical strategies, the importance of supervision, and how to keep couples engaged and resilient post-therapy.

Key Topics

• Navigating client backslides and reactivity in stage two — importance of stability and understanding intervention limits.
• The role of supervision in deepening EFT skills and supporting complex cases.
• Strategies for ensuring long-term change: protective routines, meaningful life rituals, and ongoing reflection.
• Self-care essentials for EFT therapists: balancing work demands with personal resilience, creative outlets, and community support.
• Benefits and logistics of live sessions: how they provide insight, reinforce learning, and empower clients.
• Handling high-escalation moments: engaging couples in intense emotional episodes safely and effectively.
• Maintaining client gains after treatment: consolidating skills and life integration practices.
• The significance of therapists’ ongoing growth and the value of peer support and supervision.

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

To join the Waitlist for the Michael's Tango Deliberate Practice Group visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tangowaitlist

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In this episode, Michael Preston, Dr. Silvina Irwin, and Michael Barnett tackle questions the came up at a recent Externship in Los Angeles. Whether you're grappling with attachment styles, client setbacks, or pivotal relational moments, this episode offers nuanced insights to deepen your understanding and clinical skills.

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit

www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

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In this episode, we explore the intricacies of 'move four' and its implications, delving into the strategic aims and potential outcomes. The conversation highlights the importance of creating safe spaces and the dynamics of partnership exposure, offering insights into the dance of professional relationships.

To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites

www.michaelbarnettlpc.com

www.drsilvinairwin.com

www.eftcla.org

To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website.www.michaelprestonlpc.com

For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango

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