The Parenting Pair | Teens & Tweens

Should you visit your child at college, or let them come home? Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explain why "never" and "always" parenting rules create anxiety, and how to respond to what your tween, teen or young adult actually needs.

Parents are surrounded by rules: never lie down with your baby as they fall asleep, never drop off a forgotten instrument, never visit your child at college in the first few weeks. The warning behind each one is that something terrible might happen if you break it.

But parenting isn't a formula.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair | Teens & Tweens, Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen look at the parenting "rules" we see online and why absolute advice can fuel unnecessary anxiety. Guidelines can help, but when we treat them as universal truths, we lose sight of the individual child, the family, and the situation in front of us. The conversation focuses on the transition to college and what to consider when your young adult is struggling away from home.

In this episode:
• Why "never" and "always" advice increases parental anxiety
• Why guidelines can help without being universal
• What Dr. Caron's own childhood shows about one-size-fits-all advice
• How to respond when a college student is struggling with a roommate, loneliness, or a breakup
• Why parents mostly hear from their kids in the lows
• Three factors to weigh: your child, your family, and the situation
• How "fortune telling" fuels parenting anxiety, and how to think in probabilities instead
• How to consult your teen rather than becoming the problem-solver
• Questions to ask yourself, and an intermediate step to consider, before you jump in
• How equifinality and multifinality show that one moment doesn't define your teen's future
• Why you don't need to get every decision right

CHAPTERS:
00:00 — Why Parenting Advice Isn't Absolute
00:20 — "Always" and "Never" Parenting Rules Can Be Misleading
01:55 — When Parenting Rules Create Anxiety
03:15 — Parenting Guidelines Can Help — Until They Don't
04:50 — Dr. Caron's Childhood and the Problem with Parenting Rules
06:43 — When Your College Student Is Struggling
08:18 — Distress Isn't Always a Problem to Solve
09:43 — Guidelines vs. Rules
10:03 — Three Reasons Parenting Isn't One-Size-Fits-All
11:15 — Responding to What Your Child Needs Right Now
11:39 — Parenting Anxiety and "Fortune Telling"
13:43 — Consult Your Teen Instead of Predicting the Future
14:48 — Hit Pause Before You React
16:15 — Problem-Solving and Scaffolding Support for Young Adults
17:15 — Why One Moment Doesn't Define Your Teen's Future
18:08 — Questions to Help Parents Slow Down and Think
20:06 — Becoming a Consultant as Your Teen Grows
21:44 — What Now? Give Yourself Grace
23:21 — Parenting Without a Crystal Ball

Resource mentioned: our earlier episode, "Why One Moment Doesn't Define Your Teen's Future: Two Psychological Concepts to Help Parents Stay Grounded and Raise Resilient Teens and Tweens" [Apple Spotify YouTube]

Instead of asking "What is the rule?", try asking: What does my child need right now? What is driving my urge to step in? Is there an intermediate step that could help? Can I involve my child in figuring this out?

You don't need a crystal ball to be a good parent. You need the willingness to pay attention, adjust, and keep learning alongside your child.

If this episode resonated, share it with another parent who feels pressured to follow every rule perfectly. Subscribe, leave a rating or review, and send us your parenting dilemmas.

#ParentingTeens #CollegeParenting #ParentingAdvice #ParentingAnxiety

Disclaimer: The Parenting Pair | Teens & Tweens is designed for informational and educational purposes only. The information presented is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

What does it actually mean to prepare our kids for the future when we don't even know what that future will look like?

For years, parents have been given a familiar formula: get good grades, go to college, get an internship, build a résumé, and find a good job. But as technology, AI, and the world of work continue to change, are those still the best ways to think about preparing young people for adulthood?

In this episode of “The Parenting Pair | Teens & Tweens” podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen welcome Jeanine Collins, Co-Founder and Chief Impact Officer of the Center for the Future of Learning, to explore what young people actually need to thrive in a rapidly changing world.

Jeanine has worked in education as a teacher and systems leader and helped lead the development of the Portrait of a Nevada Learner, a statewide effort designed to identify the mindsets and skills young people need to build a meaningful life, contribute to their communities, and navigate an uncertain future.

Rather than focusing only on what kids need to know, this conversation asks a bigger question: What do young people need to be able to do, understand about themselves and the world, and practice so they can adapt to whatever comes next?

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why the traditional formula of good grades, college, internships, and a stable career feels less certain than it once did
• What the Portrait of a Nevada Learner is and how it was created with input from young people, families, educators, and community members
• The durable skills that can help young people navigate a changing world, including communication, collaboration, resilience, agency, critical thinking, and creative thinking
• Why these skills matter not only for employment, but for building a good life, meaningful relationships, and a strong sense of self
• The four questions at the heart of the Portrait of a Nevada Learner: How will I grow in my learning? How will I build and sustain relationships and community? How will I contribute to make an impact? And how will I thrive?
• How parents can help children recognize the skills they are already developing in everyday life
• How ordinary family experiences—from planning a meal to navigating disagreement—can become opportunities to practice problem-solving, collaboration, agency, and communication
• Why giving children and teenagers more voice, choice, and agency can change how they experience learning
• The difference between simply completing schoolwork and helping young people understand why their learning matters
• Why meaningful, real-world work can create greater motivation and engagement for young people
• What happens when young people begin to see themselves as someone who can face challenges, ask for help, persist, or recognize when something isn't right for them
• How academic subjects can become more meaningful when young people can connect what they are learning to bigger questions and real-world experiences
• What AI and other technologies mean for the future of education—and why technology makes uniquely human skills even more important
• Why AI should not replace the human processes of learning, feedback, collaboration, reflection, and developing ideas
• How educators can use AI while still giving students opportunities to think, create, struggle, revise, and develop their own abilities
• Why young people want to do work that feels real, meaningful, and connected to something beyond a grade
• How parents and educators can cultivate a more hopeful view of today's young people instead of focusing only on the challenges they face
• The importance of "seeing what you look for" when it comes to understanding children's and teenagers' capabilities

In this episode:

00:00 — Preparing Kids for an Uncertain Future

01:33 — Meet Jeanine Collins

03:42 — What Is a Portrait of a Learner?

06:31 — The Skills Kids and Teens Need for the Future

09:04 — What Does a “Good Life” Look Like?

11:45 — Four Questions Every Learner Can Ask

15:00 — Helping Kids, Tweens and Teens Recognize Their Strengths

17:30 — Teaching Collaboration as a Skill

20:02 — Learning to Learn, Unlearn & Relearn

22:06 — Rethinking the Purpose of School

27:01 — Why Agency and Relevance Matter

31:28 — What AI Changes About Learning

33:02 — Why Human Skills Matter More Than Ever

35:20 — Give Kids and Teenagers Work That Matters

39:17 — Suzanne’s Secret About Jeanine

41:15 — What Now: You See What You Look For

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Portrait of a Nevada Learner
The Portrait of a Nevada Learner is a statewide vision for the mindsets and skills that help young people apply academic knowledge in meaningful ways. It was developed through collaboration among Nevada educators, learners, families, businesses, & community members.

Portrait of a Nevada Learner

Nevada Future of Learning Network
The Nevada Future of Learning Network brings together educators, students, parents, & community partners to support learner-centered, competency-based education.

Nevada Future of Learning Network

Portrait Process & Community Research
The Portrait was shaped through statewide surveys, interviews, conversations & collaboration with Nevadans about the mindsets & skills young people need to navigate the future.

Portrait Process — Nevada Future of Learning

ABOUT JEANINE COLLINS

Jeanine Collins is Co-Founder and Chief Impact Officer of the Center for the Future of Learning, a Nevada-based organization focused on building the future of learning with young people, educators, and communities. A former educator, Jeanine has worked at the intersection of education, policy, and community engagement. She helped lead the community co-design process behind the Portrait of a Nevada Learner and has been involved in the development of the Nevada Future of Learning Network.

What do you think your child or teenager will need most to thrive in the future?

And what skills do you already see them developing that may not show up on a report card?

Share this episode with another parent, educator, teacher, or school community who is thinking about how we prepare young people for what's next.

🎧 If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe to The Parenting Pair | Teens & Tweens podcast and share this episode with fellow parents of teens who need to hear it.

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What should parents do when they believe their teenager is going to drink alcohol anyway?

Should you let your teen drink at home so they learn to drink responsibly, or make it clear that underage drinking is not okay? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen respond to a listener question about teens and alcohol and explain why the answer isn't a simple yes or no.

They look at what current data says about teen drinking, what new longitudinal research shows about starting early, and why delaying alcohol is the safest recommendation. They also talk about how to share your values without lecturing, how to build a safety net so your teen will call you if something goes wrong, and how to tell experimentation from patterns that deserve more concern.

In this conversation, we explore:

- Why teen alcohol use is declining, and why parents' memories may be out of date
- Whether drinking at home teaches responsible drinking
- What the 2026 research says about early alcohol initiation
- Talking about alcohol at different ages, and explaining why that information matters, not just "it's illegal"
- What to do if your teen drinks: safety first, judgment aside
- When drinking may point to an underlying mental health concern
- What parents should know about social host laws in 31 states
- Why alcohol and marijuana call for different conversations

The takeaway: you don't have to choose between clear boundaries and an open line of communication. Communicate. Educate. Stay non-judgmental.

CHAPTERS:
00:00 — Should You Let Your Teen Drink at Home?
00:43 — Why This Question Is So Complicated
01:34 — The Facts: Teen Alcohol Use Is Declining
03:18 — What Parents Remember vs. What Teens Do Today
05:29 — Should Parents Teach Teens to Drink Responsibly?
06:11 — What the 2026 Research Says About Early Drinking
07:23 — Delay, Delay, Delay (Without Avoiding the Conversation)
08:08 — How to Talk to Younger Kids About Alcohol
09:11 — What to Tell Older Teens
10:56 — If Your Teen Drinks: Safety Comes First
11:23 — "I Will Not Be Angry": Creating a Safety Net
12:46 — Boundaries Without Judgment
13:42 — Why Lecturing Can Get in the Way of Learning
15:14 — When Teen Drinking Is More Concerning
18:28 — Social Host Laws: What Parents Should Know
19:50 — Alcohol vs. Marijuana (and "No Pills or Powders")
21:51 — What Now? Communicate & Educate

RESEARCH & RESOURCES MENTIONED

🔗 2025 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (SAMHSA)

🔗 2026 Longitudinal Study on Age of Alcohol Initiation

🔗National information on social host laws

RELATED PARENTING PAIR EPISODES

🔗 Marijuana in Teens: Facts, Myths & Conversations That Help

🔗https://music.amazon.it/podcasts/92eea3cf-99a0-4722-ad61-45302fc2fd77/episodes/1f14abfd-3b5f-4853-a1a0-2010a153220e/the-parenting-pair-teens-tweens-cannabis-what-parents-need-to-know-about-teen-weed-use-marijuana-2-0Cannabis: What Parents Need to Know About Teen Weed Use with Dr. Amy Swift

If this episode gave you a new perspective, please share it with another parent, and rate, review, and subscribe so more families can find evidence-informed guidance for raising tweens, teens, and young adults. #parentingteens #teendrinking #teensandalcohol

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

What happens to the child or teen who seems to be “doing fine” when a sibling needs much more attention?

When a child or teenager is dealing with a concerning medical condition, mental health concern, developmental difference such as ADHD or autism, or behavioral challenge, family life can naturally begin to revolve around their needs. There may be appointments, school meetings, difficult moments at home, and simply less time and energy to go around.

But what about the other kid(s) in the family?

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen talk about the often-overlooked experience of siblings who grow up alongside a brother or sister who is struggling. They explore what we know from research, the range of emotions siblings may experience, and practical ways parents can support them without adding more guilt (to themselves or their kids) in an already demanding situation.

In this conversation, we explore:

• What research tells us about the experiences of siblings
• Why siblings may face increased risks for anxiety, depression, or adjustment difficulties
• Why parents shouldn't automatically blame themselves for those difficulties
• The range of emotions siblings may experience, from frustration and worry to love and empathy
• How difficult family experiences can also foster maturity, patience, and compassion
• Why validating “It’s not fair” can be truly helpful
• How age-appropriate information can help siblings understand what is happening
• How giving siblings some choice and voice can help
• Why family rules and routines may need to change
• How to avoid catastrophizing about what a difficult period means for the future
• Simple ways to create protected one-on-one time with siblings
• Why maintaining relationships doesn't have to mean equal amounts of time
• How parents can model repair when everyone is overwhelmed

CHAPTERS:

00:00 — When One Child Needs More: What About their Sibling?
03:02 — What Does the Research Say About Siblings?
04:30 — The Potential Risks for Siblings
05:42 — The Emotional Experience of Having a Sibling Who Struggles
06:37 — How Difficult Experiences Can Also Lead to Growth
07:59 — When Parents and Siblings Share the Same Stress
09:19 — What Parents Can Do to Support Siblings
09:41 — Acknowledging When Family Life Feels Unfair
12:43 — Acceptance, Problem-Solving & Moving Forward
14:26 — Validating Feelings While Holding Boundaries
15:50 — Helping Siblings Understand What’s Happening
17:53 — Giving Siblings a Voice in Family Decisions
18:44 — Staying Flexible When Family Circumstances Change
18:55 — Don’t Catastrophize About the Future
21:48 — Finding Protected One-on-One Time
23:20 — You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Parent
24:26 — What Now? Growth Takes Time

💬 If this episode resonated with you, what has helped your family make space for siblings when one child needs significantly more support?

If you know another parent who could benefit from this conversation, please share the episode with them. And if you're enjoying The Parenting Pair Podcast, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps us reach more parents.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• AI, Teens & Relationships: What Parents Need to Know | Dr. Mitch Prinstein: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ai-teens-relationships-what-parents-need-to-know-dr/id1815564442?i=1000788637945

Disclaimer: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. The information presented is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

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When does puberty start, and what should parents know about teen weight, sleep, perimenopause, and HRT? Pediatric and adolescent medicine specialist Dr. Sophia Yen answers listener questions from puberty through midlife.

Why we're re-releasing this episode: Women's hormonal health is always timely, and many of you have joined us since this conversation first aired. We didn't want it to be missed.

"Painful periods, exhausting perimenopause: that's just what you deal with." Is it? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron welcome back Dr. Sophia Yen to talk about hormonal health across the female lifespan.

Dr. Yen walks through the typical ages puberty begins for girls and boys, when early or delayed puberty is worth a doctor's visit, and how nutrition, sleep, and screen time relate to weight during the teen years. She also shares practical, shame-free ways families can build healthier habits. The conversation then turns to midlife: the role of the birth control pill or ring during perimenopause, how she frames hormone replacement therapy (HRT) after menopause, and why the Women's Health Initiative study still shapes the HRT debate. Her views are her clinical perspective, and decisions about HRT are individual ones to make with your own doctor.

Whether you're parenting a tween who is starting puberty, raising a teen while navigating perimenopause yourself, or both, this episode offers practical, evidence-informed conversation starters.

You'll learn:
- The typical age range puberty begins for girls and boys, and when to check in with a doctor
- How to talk with your teen about weight and food without shame
- Simple swaps and habits around drinks, snacks, screens, and sleep
- How to evaluate health information from social media, supplements, and self-described "doctors"
- What perimenopause and menopause can look like, and how the pill, ring, and HRT fit in
- Questions worth bringing to your own doctor

Episode highlights:
00:00 – Science and Medicine Can Improve Life for People with a Uterus
02:19 – When Puberty Typically Begins for Girls and Boys
04:54 – Supporting Children Through Early Puberty
06:25 – When to See a Doctor If Puberty Hasn't Started
08:14 – Puberty in the Age of Social Media: What Parents Should Know
12:14 – How to Talk to Kids About Weight Gain During Puberty
15:24 – Is Diet Soda Really a Problem?
18:07 – The Benefits of Sleep & Turning Off Screens After [confirm: 2 hours before bed, or 2pm? original text was ambiguous]
20:32 – Helping Teens Build Healthier Eating Habits Without Shame
23:38 – Hormone Replacement Therapy: Is It Advisable?
26:22 – The Impact of Estrogen Decline on Women's Health
33:21 – Learn More About Pandia Health
34:26 – Birth Control vs. HRT: Perimenopause vs. Menopause

If you've ever wondered whether your child's puberty timing is typical, or how to support your own hormonal health through perimenopause, this episode offers practical, evidence-informed insight for every parent — and every woman.

Dr. Sophia Yen is co-founder of Pandia Health, an online birth control and menopause care service. The Parenting Pair does not endorse products or services.

Resources:

• Dr. Yen's TEDx talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ7-_MOjEeY
• Companion episode: our #PeriodsOptional conversation with Dr. Yen:

https://drscaronandallen.com/podcast/episode/is-it-safe-to-skip-your-period-birth-control-cancer-risk-dr-sophia-yen/

You can also follow Dr. Yen on Instagram & TikTok at:

https://www.instagram.com/drsophiayen

https://www.tiktok.com/@drsophiayen

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe for more expert conversations on parenting, health, and raising confident, well-informed teens.

🌐 Visit https://drscaronandallen.com/ to listen and learn more.

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DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional (psychological or medical) advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Is it safe to skip your period? Dr. Sophia Yen makes the case that for many teens and women it is, and that the long-term benefits may include a significantly lower risk of ovarian cancer.

In honor of Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, we're re-sharing one of our most-talked about episodes. Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron talk with Dr. Sophia Yen, a board-certified pediatrician and adolescent medicine specialist, about menstrual suppression, the medical option to reduce or eliminate periods with hormonal birth control, and her "Periods Optional" approach.

Dr. Yen frames menstrual suppression as a risk-benefit decision and explains why she believes the benefits outweigh the risks for many women. She discusses her perspective that fewer lifetime menstrual cycles may reduce the risk of ovarian, endometrial, and colorectal cancers, noting that five years of pill, patch, or ring use can lower ovarian cancer risk by roughly half. She also addresses the small increase in breast cancer risk associated with hormonal contraception.

The conversation extends beyond cancer risk to the day-to-day impact of menstruation, including heavy bleeding, missed school, anemia, and the stress of unpredictable cycles. Dr. Yen explains how stable hormone levels may benefit acne and other health conditions, and she addresses common myths, including whether hormonal birth control affects future fertility.

For parents, this is a clear, evidence-informed starting point for a conversation with your daughter and her doctor.

You'll learn:

- What menstrual suppression is and why Dr. Yen calls periods "optional"

- How periods relate to anemia, and what Dr. Yen says about cancer risk

- Whether birth control affects fertility later

- Who should not use estrogen-containing birth control, including those with a blood clot history or migraine with aura

- Why estrogen dose matters for teen bone health

- When starting may make sense, and why timing depends on how heavy periods are and how much growing a teen has left

Episode highlights:

00:00 – The Real Reason Women Have Monthly Periods

02:32 – What If Periods Could Be Optional?

04:10 – To Bleed or Not to Bleed: Understanding the Risk–Benefit Balance

05:03 – Periods and Cancer Risk: Ovarian, Endometrial & Colorectal

07:32 – Menstruation and Anemia: A Common Connection

11:04 – Does Birth Control Make It Harder to Get Pregnant Later?

14:02 – How Birth Control Pills Can Support Fertility and Hormonal Health

15:07 – When Birth Control Pills Aren't Recommended

17:50 – The Unexpected Benefits of Making Periods Optional

20:00 – Dr. Yen's Algorithm for Choosing the Right Birth Control Pill

22:53 – Why Estrogen Plays a Key Role in Bone Health

26:49 – When to Consider Birth Control as a Health Tool

For more on #PeriodsOptional, watch Dr. Yen's TEDx Talk, "Making Periods Optional":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ7-_MOjEeY

You can also follow Dr. Yen on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, or connect with her company Pandia Health (where you can access the birth control algorithm):

https://www.pandiahealth.com/about/

https://www.instagram.com/pandiahealth/

https://www.tiktok.com/@drsophiayen

https://www.facebook.com/pandiahealth/

https://twitter.com/pandiahealth

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe for more expert conversations on parenting, health, and raising confident, well-informed teens.

🌐 Visit https://drscaronandallen.com/ to listen and learn more.

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional (psychological or medical) advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

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Is 13 really the right age for a teen or tween to start using social media? What does social media have to do with the developing adolescent brain—and should parents limit, delay, or ban it altogether?

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen talk with Dr. Eva Telzer, psychologist, neuroscientist, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at UNC Chapel Hill, and co-director of the Winston Center for Technology and the Developing Mind.

Dr. Telzer explains why adolescence is a particularly important period of brain development, when teens become more sensitive to rewards and social experiences while executive functioning continues to develop. Today's digital environment can amplify these developmental changes by providing highly personalized social feedback, algorithms, short-form content, and other powerful sources of engagement.

But this isn't a conversation about why social media is all bad. Adolescence is also a time of tremendous growth, connection, creativity, independence, and social awareness—and social media can help teens connect, organize, advocate, and create positive change.

So what can parents actually do? Dr. Telzer discusses when kids should get social media, whether parents should delay, limit, or ban social media, how parents can better understand what their teens are actually seeing online, and why working together with other parents may reduce the social pressure around smartphones. She also highlights the importance of protecting teen sleep by keeping phones and devices out of the bedroom at night.

If you're parenting a tween or teenager and wondering about social media, smartphones, adolescent brain development, screen time, algorithms, or healthy boundaries, this episode offers a research-informed and hopeful perspective on helping teens navigate the digital world.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• Why Adolescence is a remarkable period of brain development and growth
• The three major changes happening in the adolescent brain
• Why teens are especially sensitive to rewards and social experiences
• How social media and today's digital environment interact with adolescent development
• How likes, streaks, algorithms, and short-form videos keep teens engaged
• Why your teen's social media feed may look completely different from yours
• What parents should know about the age of first social media exposure
• Why turning 13 doesn't mean a child is suddenly developmentally ready for social media
• Whether parents should delay, limit, or ban social media
• How parents can better understand their teen's online world
• Why protecting sleep and keeping phones out of the bedroom matters
• The potential benefits of social media for teens, including connection, activism, and social change
• Why digital media literacy matters
• How parents can help teens learn to navigate—not simply fear—the digital world

Questions Parents May be Aasking:

What is the right age for social media?
There is no magic age when every child suddenly becomes developmentally ready. Dr. Telzer explains why the timing of social media exposure matters and why age 13 may actually be a particularly concerning time to introduce social media.

Should I ban social media?
An outright ban can sometimes lead teens to seek access secretly and without parental guidance. Dr. Telzer discusses the benefits of clear and thoughtful boundaries and open conversations between parents and teens.

How can I know what my teenager is actually seeing online?
Algorithms personalize social media feeds, so parents and teens can have very different experiences on the same platform. Curiosity about your teen's actual digital world is an important place to start.

What can I do right now?
Protect sleep. Keeping phones and social media out of the bedroom at night is one of the clearest boundaries parents can set and can support adolescent mental health, attention, school functioning, and overall well-being.

If you're parenting a tween or teenager, listen to this episode for a research-informed look at teen social media use, smartphones, adolescent brain development, and what parents can actually do to help.

00:00 Is 13 Really the Right Age for Social Media?
00:44 Why Social Relationships Matter So Much During Adolescence
03:46 The Positive Side of the Teenage Years
05:43 3 Major Changes in the Adolescent Brain
08:12 Why Social Media Can Be So Compelling to Teens
11:33 Adolescence, Brain Development & the Digital World
14:28 What Can Parents Do About Teen Social Media Use?
16:37 What Actually Counts as Social Media?
19:48 Likes, Streaks & Other Features That Keep Teens Engaged
23:24 How Algorithms Shape Your Teen's Social Media Feed
26:31 What Age Should Kids Get Social Media?
27:59 Should Parents Ban, Limit or Delay Social Media?
31:16 The Positive Side of Social Media for Teens
33:08 Should Schools Teach Digital Media Literacy?
35:51 Helping Teens Navigate the Digital World

🎧 Listen to the full episode and share it with another parent who could use this perspective.

And if this episode helped you think differently about your teen’s relationship with technology, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast for more conversations about parenting, adolescent development, mental health, and family relationships.

Resources / Links

Winston Center for Technology and the Developing Mind — UNC Chapel Hill
The episode identifies Dr. Eva Telzer as co-director of the center.
Winston Center for Technology and the Developing Mind

Eva Telzer research on social media and adolescent brain development
A particularly relevant study discussed in the context of her research examines habitual social-media checking and longitudinal changes in adolescent brain development.
Research study: Association of Habitual Checking Behaviors on Social Media With Longitudinal Functional Brain Development

Wait Until 8th
This is the movement referenced when the hosts and Dr. Telzer discuss parents banding together to delay smartphones and reduce the social pressure children feel to have them.
Wait Until 8th

Signup for The Parenting Pair Newsletter and other announcements straight to your inbox: https://drscaronandallen.com/ (at the bottom of the webpage).

Teenage brain, social media and teens, social media and adolescent brain, teen brain development, tween brains, adolescent brain development, teens and social media, social media effects on teenagers, social media effects on teen brain, parenting teenagers, teen mental health, teen relationships, teenage relationships, social media and relationships, social media algorithms, teens and technology, digital media and te...

What happens when kids and teenagers begin turning to AI chatbots for friendship, advice, reassurance, and connection?

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen sit down with psychologist and adolescent development expert Dr. Mitch Prinstein to explore how artificial intelligence (AI) is changing the way teens and young people experience relationships.

AI chatbots can be useful tools—but some are also designed to feel remarkably human. They remember what users have said, respond instantly, appear endlessly available, and may reinforce what a young person is already thinking or feeling. For tweens and teens navigating an especially important period of social and emotional development, that raises important questions about what happens when technology begins to replace some of the friction, vulnerability, and learning that come from real human relationships.

In this conversation, we explore:

• Why adolescence is such an important period for learning how to build relationships
• How teens are using AI chatbots for information, advice, companionship, and connection
• Why humans naturally form attachments to things that aren't human
• Why an AI chatbot can feel like a friend—even when we know it's a machine
• What happens when teens begin preferring chatbots over human peers
• How AI can remove the "friction" that is actually important for social and emotional development
• The potential connection between chatbot use, loneliness, and reduced interaction with human peers
• What teens may miss when AI replaces opportunities to navigate conflict, rejection, vulnerability, and repair
• Why real human connection matters so much during adolescence
• How parents can approach AI use without immediately turning the conversation into a battle
• Why curiosity and open-ended questions may be more effective than judgment
• How parents can model critical thinking about AI and help teens think about whether technology aligns with their values
• Why AI-enabled toys and chatbots may raise different concerns for younger children
• Why parents should think about AI use differently depending on their child's developmental stage
• What we still don't know about the long-term effects of AI on adolescent development

One of the central ideas in this conversation is simple but important: relationships aren't just something teenagers have—they are something teenagers learn through real life experience.

The disagreements, awkward conversations, misunderstandings, breakups, rejection, vulnerability, and repair that happen in real relationships can be difficult to watch as a parent. But they can also become important "learning moments" that help young people develop empathy, perspective-taking, communication skills, and the ability to navigate relationships throughout adulthood.

And as AI becomes increasingly sophisticated, parents may need to think not only about what their teens are doing with technology, but also about what opportunities they might be missing because of it.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Why We As Humans Can Feel Attachment to a Chatbot

00:48 Today’s Topic: Teens, Technology & AI

00:59 Meet Dr. Mitch Prinstein

02:23 Why Adolescence Matters So Much

06:26 How Teens Are Using AI Chatbots

10:03 Why We Form Attachments to AI

11:41 When Kids Prefer Chatbots Over People

13:55 Why AI Chatbots Are So Compelling

15:13 The Mental Health & Developmental Risks

17:16 The Mental Health Implications

19:24 What Teens Lose When AI Replaces Relationships

23:01 Why Human Connection Can’t Be Replaced

25:55 Should AI Chatbots Be Regulated?

27:48 What Parents Need to Know

29:49 AI Guidance for Different Ages

32:35 How Parents Can Model Healthy AI Use

34:54 Curiosity Over Judgment

37:09 Growing Up in the AI Experiment

38:31 Final Thoughts

ABOUT DR. MITCH PRINSTEIN

Dr. Mitch Prinstein is the John Van Seters Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and co-director of the Winston Center for Technology and the Developing Mind. His research focuses on interpersonal relationships, adolescent development, mental health, and the ways technology and digital platforms influence young people.

He is also the author of Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World, which examines the role of popularity, likability, relationships, and social status across development.

🔗 Learn more about Dr. Mitch Prinstein:
Mitch Prinstein's official website

🔗 Learn more about the Winston Center for Technology and the Developing Mind:
UNC Winston Center

🔗 That Popular Podcast — Mitch Prinstein and Aaron Keck’s podcast exploring psychology, relationships, human behavior, and the social dynamics we experience every day.
Listen to That Popular Podcast on Apple Podcasts

🔗 Learn more about Dr. Prinstein's book, Popular:
Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World

A NOTE FOR PARENTS

You don't have to become an AI expert overnight to have meaningful conversations with your teenager about technology.

Start with curiosity.

Ask what they're using, what they like about it, what they find helpful, what concerns them, and what they think AI can—and cannot—provide that a real person can.

The goal isn't simply to control technology. It's to help young people develop the judgment and relationship skills they will need to navigate a world in which AI is becoming part of everyday life.

💬 We want to hear from you: How is your teen or young adult using AI? Are they using it for school, advice, entertainment, companionship—or something else?

And if you're concerned about their AI use, what questions are you finding hardest to navigate as a parent?

Share your experience below. 👇

And if this conversation gave you something to think about, please subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another parent.

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teens, tweens, parenting teenagers, podcast, teenage behavior, psychology, adolescent brain de...

When your child is facing a serious illness, hospitalization, medical procedure, injury, or other frightening medical experience, it can be easy to focus entirely on your child—and forget that the experience affects you, too.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen welcome back Dr. Meghan Marsac, a pediatric psychologist and expert in pediatric medical traumatic stress, to talk about what happens to parents when their child is facing a medical challenge.

Medical trauma doesn't only affect children. Parents may experience intrusive thoughts or memories, avoidance, sleep difficulties, trouble concentrating, increased anxiety, changes in mood, and other symptoms of traumatic stress.

Dr. Marsac explains why recognizing these reactions matters—and why supporting yourself isn't an indulgence or an additional item on an already overwhelming to-do list. Taking care of yourself can actually help you remain present and effective as your child's advocate and caregiver.

Together, they discuss:

• What medical trauma can look like in parents
• How traumatic stress can show up after a child's diagnosis, hospitalization, accident, or medical procedure
• Why parents may minimize or overlook their own distress
• Why even teenagers can sense when a parent is struggling
• How a parent's emotional health can affect their child
• The COACH model for supporting children through medical challenges
• Why parents may have difficulty using the COACH approach when they are overwhelmed themselves
• How to accept help—and why asking for help isn't a sign of weakness
• Ways to find support during hospitalizations and ongoing medical care
• Child life specialists, social workers, psychologists, chaplains, and other hospital resources
• How parents can take small, realistic steps to care for themselves
• Resources for families dealing with pediatric medical trauma and chronic illness

Here are the highlights from the episode:

00:00 Don't Oversay "I Got This"

00:27 Medical Trauma Doesn’t Only Affect Kids

02:34 How Medical Trauma Shows Up in Parents

05:24 Why Parents Need Support Too

07:46 How a Parent’s Stress Affects Their Child

09:53 The COACH Model

11:22 Practical Ways Parents Can Get Support

12:48 Stop Turning Down Help

14:01 Who Are Your People?

16:24 Support Available Inside the Hospital

19:08 Resources for Parents and Families

21:11 Final Thoughts

One of the most important reminders from this conversation: you don't have to do this alone. Sometimes the first step isn't finding more time for yourself—it's saying yes when someone offers to help.

👩‍⚕️ Meet Dr. Meghan Marsac

Dr. Meghan Marsac is a pediatric psychologist and Division Chief of Psychology at the University of Kentucky. She has published extensively on pediatric medical trauma and co-authored Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parent's Guide to Preventing and Managing Medical Trauma with Melissa Hogan.Her work focuses on helping children and families navigate the psychological impact of medical experiences.

📚 Resources Mentioned in This Episode

📖 Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parent's Guide to Preventing and Managing Medical Trauma
By Meghan L. Marsac, Melissa J. Hogan, with a foreword by John F. Crowley. The book provides practical strategies for parents navigating medical procedures, medical trauma, chronic conditions, and difficult healthcare experiences.

Learn more about *Afraid of the Doctor*

🧰 Healthcare Toolbox — Center for Pediatric Traumatic Stress
A free resource with information, handouts, and workbooks for children, teens, parents, and caregivers coping with injury, illness, hospitalization, and medical treatment. Dr. Marsac is co-director of this organization.

Healthcare Toolbox

🧠 National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN)
The NCTSN provides information and resources about child traumatic stress, including resources specifically related to medical trauma and healthcare experiences.

National Child Traumatic Stress Network — Medical Trauma Resources

🤝 Alongside Network
A community and resource network supporting families caring for children who have experienced a life-threatening illness or injury. Alongside offers parent/caregiver communities, support, resources, and connections with others who understand these experiences.

Alongside Network

💬 If This Episode Resonated With You

If your child or teenager has experienced a frightening medical event, chronic illness, hospitalization, injury, or difficult medical treatment, we hope this conversation reminds you that your experience matters, too.

And if someone in your life is navigating a medical challenge with their child, share this episode with them. Sometimes hearing that your reactions are understandable—and that you don't have to carry everything alone—can make a meaningful difference.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Back-to-school season can quickly turn parents into the project managers of the household.

School forms, homework, practices, appointments, schedules, emails, deadlines… suddenly, so much of our interaction with our tweens and teens can become solely about getting things done.

But what if, in the middle of all that busyness, we're missing something that matters much more in the long run?

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen talk about how to navigate the pressure of back-to-school season while protecting the relationships that matter most.

They explore why the quality of our relationships is so important to well-being—and why a missed deadline, imperfect grade, or forgotten task is unlikely to matter as much years from now as the relationship we build with our children.

You'll hear practical strategies for:

• Staying connected when most conversations seem to be about what needs to get done
• Understanding your teen's growing need for independence
• Not taking adolescent distance or irritability personally
• Listening to what your teen is interested in instead of immediately redirecting them to the next task
• Respecting reasonable differences in opinions and choices
• Asking your teen what they think before immediately giving your own advice
• Recognizing the importance of friendships, mentors, coaches, teachers, and other adults in your child's life
• Balancing the inevitable "management mode" with moments of genuine connection
• Remembering that parenting is about the long haul—not getting every moment right

These are the highlights of the episode:

00:00 Why Relationships Matter Way More Than Management

00:46 Today's Topic: Back-to-School Parenting Pressure

02:24 Relationship Over Management

04:37 Parenting Through Growing Independence

07:05 Why Teens Pull Away

09:11 Why Peer Relationships Matter

10:16 You Don’t Have to Be Everything

11:41 How to Build Connection in Busy Moments

13:13 Show Interest in What Matters to Them

15:50 Respecting Their Independence

16:29 Ask Before Giving Advice

17:34 Don’t React to Every Eye Roll

18:00 What Now? Parenting Is About the Long Haul

The goal isn't to stop managing altogether. There will always be homework, schedules, forms, deadlines, and mornings when you're running late. The goal is to make sure that those things don't become the only focus of your relationship with your child or teenager.

As Annalise and Suzanne discuss, parenting gives us thousands of moments with our kids. If one doesn't go well, there's always another opportunity to reconnect. ❤️

💬 What tends to take over in your household when back-to-school gets busy: connection or task management? Let us know in the comments.

Research Mentioned

The episode references Stanford research on how the adolescent brain responds differently to a mother's voice compared with unfamiliar voices. The study found a developmental shift toward greater responsiveness to unfamiliar voices during adolescence, consistent with the growing importance of social connections outside the family.

Stanford Medicine — The Teen Brain Tunes in Less to Mom’s Voice

The Journal of Neuroscience — A Neurodevelopmental Shift in Reward Circuitry From Mother’s to Nonfamilial Voices in Adolescence

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Medical challenges can affect far more than your child's physical health.

Whether it's a routine shot, bloodwork, a frightening trip to the ER, surgery, an injury, or managing a chronic medical condition, medical experiences can bring fear, anxiety, avoidance, stress, and sometimes even medical trauma.

And for parents, these situations can be overwhelming too. Suddenly you're managing appointments, medications, insurance, specialists, school, siblings, and your child's emotional needs—all while trying to figure out how to help your child cope.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen sit down with Dr. Meghan Marsac, a pediatric psychologist and Division Chief of Psychology at the University of Kentucky Pediatrics Department, to talk about how parents can support children and teens through medical challenges. Dr. Marsac brings extensive expertise in pediatric medical trauma and shares practical, evidence-based strategies for helping families navigate difficult medical experiences while protecting connection, autonomy, and the rest of a young person's life.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• How medical challenges can affect children's mental and emotional health — and why physical and mental health shouldn't be treated as completely separate.
• Medical anxiety and medical trauma — from everyday procedures like shots and bloodwork to more significant medical events and chronic illness.
• Why validation matters — and how acknowledging that something is difficult for your child can strengthen connection rather than making the fear worse.
• Parent vs. caregiver — how chronic illness or injury can shift parents into a caregiving role and unintentionally change the parent-child relationship.
• Protecting your teen's independence during medical challenges — including finding ways to preserve friendships, activities, school, and the other parts of life that matter to them.
• Supporting siblings when one child's medical needs require more attention from the family.
• How parents can advocate within complex medical systems — including asking questions, gathering information, communicating between providers, and making sure important information doesn't get lost.
• Helping teens become more involved in their own medical care — gradually giving them opportunities to ask questions, advocate for themselves, and take more leadership.
• The COACH approach — a framework Dr. Marsac and her coauthor developed to help parents break down challenging medical situations and choose strategies that fit their child.
• Planning ahead for medical appointments and procedures — including determining how much information your child wants and when they want to receive it.
• Why your child's medical condition shouldn't become their entire identity — and how families can continue to make room for the many other parts of who they are.

Chapters:

00:00 | Medical Challenges: Why Planning Ahead Works
00:29 | Today’s Topic: Medical Challenges With Teens and Tweens
01:17 | Meet Meghan Marsac, Pediatric Psychologist
02:48 | Why Meghan Marsac Wrote Afraid of the Doctor
05:20 | The Connection Between Medical Trauma and Emotional & Behavioral Struggles
08:44 | Considering Medical Challenges in the Context of a Child’s Whole Life
13:43 | Why Validation Is So Important
14:50 | The Role of a Parent vs. a Caregiver
18:20 | How to Address a New Medical Reality With Siblings
21:13 | When the Parent Becomes the Leader of the Medical Team
24:20 | The COACH Approach: What It Means
29:20 | How Parents Can Cope Ahead With Medical Anxiety
32:59 | Recommendations for Parents Facing Medical Challenges

Important Takeaways

One of the most powerful ideas in this conversation is that a child is more than their medical condition.

As Dr. Marsac explains, families can become understandably focused on appointments, medications, treatments, and medical care—particularly when a child has a chronic condition. But it's also important to keep seeing the whole person: their friendships, activities, interests, school, family relationships, independence, and the things that bring them joy.

Medical care matters. So does the rest of their life.

The conversation also emphasizes that parents don't have to navigate complex medical systems perfectly. Asking questions, requesting clarification, writing things down, and advocating for your child are all legitimate parts of supporting them.

And if a particular strategy doesn't work for your child, that doesn't mean you've failed. Dr. Marsac emphasizes that different strategies work for different children—and parents know their own children better than any professional does.

If you're parenting a child or teen through a medical challenge, we hope this conversation helps you feel more informed, more confident, and a little less alone.

💬 What part of your child's medical journey has been hardest to navigate as a parent?

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parent's Guide to Preventing and Managing Medical Trauma By Dr. Meghan Marsac and Melissa Hogan.

https://www.afraidofthedoctor.com/

The Cellie Coping kit

https://www.celliecopingkit.org/

About Dr. Meghan Marsac

Dr. Meghan Marsac is a pediatric psychologist and Division Chief of Psychology at the University of Kentucky Pediatrics Department. She is a tenured professor at the University of Kentucky's College of Medicine, an Affiliate Research Scientist at the Center for Injury Research and Prevention at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), an Affiliate at the Center for Violence Prevention at CHOP, and Division Chief of Psychology in the Department of Pediatrics at the University of Kentucky.

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Parenting Pair classic: We are bringing this essential conversation back to the top of your feed this week. This is one of our most-watched episodes, and the practical tools inside are too important to miss. Whether you're hearing it for the first time or need a timely refresher, we hope it brings you some compassionate guidance today.

How do you raise a teen who makes good decisions on their own — even when you're not there to guide them? In this episode, child and adolescent psychologists Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron tackle a question every parent of a tween or teen asks at some point: my child wants more freedom, but can they actually handle it?

They break down exactly how to raise responsible, independent teens without swinging to either extreme — permissive parenting on one end, helicopter parenting on the other. Using real examples and a simple framework parents can start using today, they explain the three types of independence every teen needs to develop: the ability to make their own choices, the ability to think through problems on their own, and the ability to trust their own feelings and judgment.

You'll learn:

• How to raise a teen who can think for themselves and problem-solve without you
• The difference between authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting — and why it matters for raising a responsible teen
• A real-life role-play example (a teen who got a D on a test) showing exactly what to say — and what not to say — to help your teen make good decisions
• Why asking "what do you think?" before offering advice builds better decision-makers
• The "get out of their way" coaching lesson that applies directly to parenting tweens and teens
• What decades of research from Dr. Joseph Allen's lab at the University of Virginia reveals about how this kind of parenting shapes teens' decision-making, relationships, and choices well into adulthood

Plus, book recommendations for parents who want to go deeper: The Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud PhD and Ned Johnson, How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims, and Age of Opportunity by Laurence Steinberg.

If you're raising a teen who wants more freedom, a tween pushing back on rules, or you're simply wondering how to raise a responsible teen who makes good choices — this episode gives you a practical, research-backed place to start.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Encore episode: It's move-in week — and this episode is a timely one for parents of teens heading to college, a new social scene, or just more unsupervised time with friends.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron have a clear conversation about sexual assault prevention — for teens and young adults of any gender, not just those heading off to college. They talk through how to bring up a hard topic without lecturing, what actually helps reduce risk at parties and social gatherings, and how teens can look out for each other and step in when something feels off.

This episode is for parents who want to prepare their teen without over-scaring them — and for teens themselves, since it's built to be shared directly with them.

Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron cover:

• Why open, low-pressure conversations about safety matter more than one big talk
• How to talk about prevention without implying it's ever the victim's fault
• The role alcohol and parties can play in risk — and practical ways to reduce it
• Five concrete strategies teens can use to stay safer in social settings
• What healthy bystander intervention looks like, including for teens who worry about misreading a situation
• How this conversation applies well beyond college — to high school, new friend groups, and beyond

Here are some highlights from this episode:

00:00 – College parties can be fun and risky at the same time
03:08 – How Dialectical Thinking helps parents handle tough topics with teens
05:10 – Campuses tend to be very safe, except for sexual assaults
09:00 – Five strategies a teen can do to minimize risk
10:43 – The importance of protecting your drink and how to do so
12:15 – What healthy peer support looks like
14:42 – Teaching teens to speak up and step in
16:28 – How to protect friends and peers, safely
18:33 – Recap of 5 strategies to decrease risk of sexual assault
19:48 – Sexual assault prevention starts at home
21:32 – Dialectical thinking helps parent-teen communication and problem solving
23:15 – Acknowledging difficult subjects when feeling unprepared

If you've ever worried about your teen being vulnerable in college or social settings, this episode will give you actionable tools to keep them safe and empowered.

🧰 Resources & Tools Mentioned in This Episode:

• Drink safety products — spill-proof drink covers, drink-spiking test strips, and water bottles with flip-top lids or built-in straws can add an extra layer of protection at parties or bars
• Self-defense classes — many towns, community organizations, and universities offer beginner-friendly courses; a great option to look into before heading to campus
• Campus safety resources — most colleges have blue light emergency phones and call/escort services; encourage your teen to locate these during orientation

⬇️ For downloadable resources for teens/young adults and parents, based on this episode:

📝 Tip Sheet for Parents
📝 Tip Sheet for Teens/Young Adults

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Encore episode: Every parent loses their temper sometimes—it is a completely normal part of raising teens. But what matters most is what we do after the dust settles. We are re-sharing this essential conversation because learning how to genuinely repair and apologize to your teen is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your relationship.

Did you lose your temper with your teen this summer? Wondering how to reconnect after an argument?

Conflict is part of every family—especially during the unstructured days of summer, vacations, and the transition back to school. The good news? Relationships aren't strengthened by never making mistakes. They're strengthened by repairing them.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explain why a genuine apology is one of the most powerful ways to rebuild trust with your teenager or tween. You'll learn why apologizing doesn't weaken your authority—it actually strengthens your relationship—and how a few common mistakes can unintentionally make an apology less effective.

Whether you recently yelled, overreacted, or simply wish you had handled a parenting moment differently, this episode offers practical, evidence-based strategies to help you reconnect with your child and model the kind of healthy relationships you hope they'll build throughout their lives.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why apologizing actually increases your teen's trust and respect for you
• The three biggest apology traps parents fall into—and how to avoid them
• How to repair your relationship after an argument without giving up your authority
• Why "I'm sorry, but..." almost always backfires
• How to apologize without expecting your teen to apologize back
• Why relationship repair is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Why relationship repair matters more than getting parenting "right"
02:50 – Does apologizing make parents lose authority? What the research—and experience—actually shows
05:20 – The three apology traps: losing authority, "tit for tat," and "double dipping"
11:51 – How to make an apology feel genuine instead of manipulative
17:22 – When it's not too late to apologize—and why timing matters less than sincerity
18:42 – How repairing conflict teaches your teen to build healthier future relationships
21:00 – Simple, effective ways to apologize that teens and tweens are more likely to hear
27:00 – What your teenager learns when they see you own your mistakes
33:00 – This week's parenting takeaway: Progress over perfection

If you've ever searched "I yelled at my teenager," "How do I reconnect after an argument with my teen?" or "How do I repair my relationship with my child?", this episode is for you.

Because parenting isn't about being perfect. It's about showing your children what healthy relationships look like—even after things go wrong.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with another parent, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast, and leave us a review. Your support helps more families discover practical, evidence-based parenting advice.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your own or a family member's well-being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Food allergies don't just affect what your child or teen eats—they can shape your family's entire experience of school, friendships, and independence. In this episode, therapist and author of May Contain Anxiety Tamara Hubbard joins Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen to talk about food allergy anxiety in kids and teens, and how parents can build trust instead of fear.

Together, they explore how parents can balance vigilance with confidence, help children gradually build independence, and avoid letting anxiety shrink their family's world. Tamara shares practical, evidence-based strategies for navigating food allergy anxiety while maintaining a strong parent-child relationship and preparing tweens and teens to safely manage their allergies as they grow.

Whether your child was recently diagnosed or is preparing for college, this episode offers compassionate guidance to help your family move from fear toward confidence.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

• Why food allergy anxiety is common—and when it becomes problematic
• How to balance safety with quality of life
• The difference between food allergy anxiety and food allergy social anxiety
• How to help tweens and teens gradually build independence
• The 6 "allergy parenting traps" that quietly increase anxiety over time
• Why trust is essential when preparing teens to manage allergies
• How to respond when your teen isn't taking allergies seriously
• The power of curiosity instead of lectures
• How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) principles can help parents
• Ways family and friends can better support children with food allergies
• Practical strategies for reducing anxiety while keeping kids safe

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 How to Raise Independent Kids With Food Allergies

00:30 Food Allergies: Today's Topic
01:10 Meet Tamara Hubbard, MA, LCPC, Therapist & Author of "May Contain Anxiety"
02:18 Coping With Food Allergy Anxiety
06:01 Building Confidence Through Skill Development
08:40 Why Professional Guidance Matters
10:30 Living by Your Values, Not Your Anxiety
13:18 Teaching Kids With Food Allergies to Self-Advocate
16:39 Food Allergy Anxiety vs. Food Allergy Social Anxiety
17:54 How Parents and Kids Experience Food Allergy Anxiety Differently
20:43 Less Lecturing, More Understanding
23:44 Common Anxiety Thinking Traps
27:42 When Burnout Becomes a Wake-Up Call
29:02 Food Allergy Support Groups: Benefits and Drawbacks
31:55 How Others Can Better Support Kids With Food Allergies
33:59 How to Connect With Tamara Hubbard

Resources Mentioned

📘 May Contain Anxiety: Managing the Overwhelm of Parenting Children with Food Allergies — by Tamara Hubbard, MA, LCPC

🌐 Food Allergy Counselor

• https://www.foodallergycounselor.com
• Educational resources, articles, and support for families.

🏥 Academy of Food Allergy Counseling

• https://www.foodallergycounseling.org
• Directory of allergy-informed mental health professionals and clinician education.

👩‍⚕️ Tamara Hubbard's Private Practice

• https://www.tamarahubbard.com
• (Illinois, Ohio & Florida via telehealth)

📱 Follow Tamara Hubbard

• Instagram: @FoodAllergyCounselor
• Facebook: Food Allergy Counselor

Key Takeaways

✔️ Anxiety is common for families managing food allergies—but it doesn't have to define family life.

✔️ The goal isn't eliminating all risk—it's learning to accurately assess risk while maintaining quality of life.

✔️ Building trust through gradual skill development helps teens become confident, independent allergy managers.

✔️ Parents often help most by replacing lectures with curiosity and open-ended conversations.

✔️ Sometimes the most supportive question anyone can ask a family managing food allergies is simply: "How can I be helpful?"

👍 If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a rating or review — it helps other parents find the show.

🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Have you ever noticed that the more you remind, explain, lecture, or give advice… the less your teen seems to listen?

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore one of the simplest—but most powerful—communication strategies for parents of tweens and teens: saying less.

As parents, it's natural to want to help by offering reminders, solutions, opinions, and guidance. But sometimes our well-intentioned words can overwhelm our children, make them feel controlled, or unintentionally shut down communication.

Instead, learning to pause, listen more, and create space can strengthen trust, encourage independence, and help teens develop confidence in solving their own problems.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why "saying less" actually helps teens communicate more
• How over-explaining can unintentionally damage connection
• The difference between supporting and over-directing
• How to encourage independence without withdrawing emotionally
• Practical ways to reduce conflict and increase cooperation
• Why silence can become one of your most effective parenting tools

Episode Highlights:

00:00 Want Your Kids to Trust You More?

00:35 Say Less: A Simple Parenting Strategy That Works

00:59 What Does "Say Less" Really Mean?

02:34 Why Saying Less Builds Stronger Connections

05:26 Raising Independent and Confident Kids

06:38 The Benefits of Talking Less as a Parent

08:41 When Can Parents Practice Saying Less?

11:49 Final Thoughts: Small Changes, Big Impact

If you're parenting a tween, teenager, or young adult, this episode offers clinically-informed strategies that can improve communication and strengthen your relationship.

💬 We'd love to hear from you:
What is one situation where you could try "saying less" this week?

👍 If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a rating or review — it helps other parents find the show.

🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Is your teen struggling to make friends, maintain friendships, or navigate their social world?

Many parents worry when their tween or teen seems lonely, has difficulty connecting with peers, misses social cues, or struggles to maintain friendships. But social communication is a complex set of skills—and many young people need support learning them.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen welcome Deirdre Flores, M.S., CCC-SLP, founder of The Teen SLP, to discuss the social communication skills that help tweens, teens, and young adults build meaningful relationships.

Together, they explore:

✔️ What social communication skills actually are
✔️ Why making friends is harder for some teens than others
✔️ The connection between executive functioning, ADHD, and friendships
✔️ How parents can provide support without taking over
✔️ Why social struggles are often about skills, not shyness
✔️ Ways to coach teens around texting, planning hangouts, and maintaining friendships
✔️ Why clubs, hobbies, jobs, and shared interests matter so much socially
✔️ How to reduce shame and build confidence in socially struggling teens

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 Social Communication Is Built on Executive Functioning
00:57 Meet Deirdre Flores, Speech-Language Pathologist
02:49 What Does a Speech-Language Pathologist Do?
04:52 Why Social Communication Skills Matter
05:44 The Link Between Executive Functioning and Communication
10:15 Breaking the Stigma Around Social Skills Coaching
13:18 Why Speech-Language Pathologists Play a Critical Role
15:52 Understanding the Emotions of Both Parents and Teens
17:14 How Parents Can Gradually Remove the Scaffolding
20:59 The 4-Week Rule, Volunteering, and Part-Time Jobs
28:13 How to Connect with Deirdre Flores

Social skills are life skills. The ability to communicate, connect, and maintain relationships affects friendships, dating, college success, and future careers. The good news? These skills can be learned and strengthened.

If you're parenting a tween, teen, or young adult who is struggling socially, this conversation offers practical, compassionate, and expert-informed guidance.

Where to find Deirdre Flores, M.S., CCC-SLP:

https://theteenslp.com/
https://www.instagram.com/theteenslp/

👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another teen or tween parent.

🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Encore presentation: We're re-releasing this episode because the topic keeps coming up — over and over again — in our work with parents. How we think matters. It shapes how we feel, how we act, and how we show up in our relationships with our teens. Parenting isn't only about our kids — our own well-being, our own thought patterns, and our own mental health matter too. If you caught this one when it first aired as Episode 13, we think it's worth a second listen. And if you're new here, this is a great place to start.

Do you ever catch yourself thinking your teen "should" have done something differently — or spiral from one bad moment straight to imagining the worst? You might be stuck in a 'thinking trap.'

In this episode, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron break down three of the most common thinking traps parents of tweens and teens fall into, and share simple, practical ways to shift your thinking so you can show up calmer, clearer, and more connected.

What we cover:

• "Should" thinking — why this one word quietly cranks up frustration and how to swap it out
• Mental filter — when you zoom in on everything going wrong and tune out everything that's going right
• Jumping to conclusions — how one moment with your teen can send your brain spiraling into worst-case scenarios
• One powerful question — "What else could be true?" — that works for all three traps

Whether you're navigating daily friction or a more serious situation with your teen, these tools will help you pause the spiral and respond with more patience and perspective.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Are You Spiraling About Your Teen?
01:00 – What Are Thinking Traps & Why They Matter
03:00 – Dr. Allen's Checkout Line Moment
05:24 – Trap #1: "Should" Thinking
09:34 – Trap #2: Mental Filter
16:26 – Trap #3: Jumping to Conclusions
20:23 – One Question to Reframe Everything

👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another teen or tween parent.

🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions you want answered on future episodes or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about your or a family member's wellbeing, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Summer break is supposed to be relaxing—but for many parents of tweens and teens, it quickly turns into a battle over screens, video games, YouTube, and endless hours indoors.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen tackle a question many parents are asking right now:

"What do I do if my teen wants to spend the entire summer gaming or watching TV?"

Whether your child is too old for traditional summer camps, too young for a job, or simply facing weeks of unstructured time, it can be incredibly stressful to watch screens become the default activity. Parents often find themselves worrying that they're failing, arguing constantly about technology, or wondering if their child is missing out on important developmental experiences.

In this practical and compassionate conversation, Annalise and Suzanne discuss how parents can approach summer differently—moving away from power struggles and toward collaboration, curiosity, and realistic expectations.

You'll learn:

✔️ Why many parents feel guilty about summer screen time
✔️ How anxiety and catastrophizing can make screen conflicts worse
✔️ Ways to collaborate with your tween or teen when planning summer activities
✔️ How to shift from pessimism to possibility-focused thinking
✔️ Why video games don't have to be the enemy
✔️ The concept of creating a balanced "summer diet" of activities
✔️ How to encourage independence, social connection, and exploration without constant battles
✔️ Practical resources and ideas for families navigating long, unstructured summer days

Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction: Expanding Your Teen's Summer Possibilities
00:44 - Summer Break & Screen Time: Helping Teens Balance Free Time
02:36 - Four Key Areas to Consider This Summer
03:05 - 1. Common Parenting Thinking Traps Around Summer Screen Time
07:42 - 2. How to Collaborate With Your Teen Instead of Fighting Them
09:57 - 3. Questions That Help Teens Explore New Summer Opportunities
13:53 - 4. Resources for Evaluating Games, Apps & Media Content

If you're worried your teen will spend the entire summer on YouTube, Xbox, TikTok, or their phone, this episode offers guidance to help you reduce conflict and create a more balanced summer experience.

Useful resources discussed in this episode:

Common Sense Media:
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/

Family Media Plan:
https://www.healthychildren.org/english/fmp/pages/mediaplan.aspx?_gl=1*cx15ma*_ga*MTcxNzk0OTc3MC4xNzgxNzk3NzUw*_ga_FD9D3XZVQQ*czE3ODE3OTc3NTAkbzEkZzEkdDE3ODE3OTc4MzEkajQ2JGwwJGgw

💡 Remember: the goal isn't perfection. It's helping your child build a summer that includes connection, growth, rest, and fun.

👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another teen or tween parent.

🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.

Starting college is exciting—but it can also be overwhelming for both young people and parents.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen are joined by clinical psychologists and college transition experts, Dr. Liz Seidler and Dr. Sarah Olivo to discuss what really happens when teens leave home and begin living on their own.

From homesickness and making friends to executive functioning, self-advocacy, managing emotions, and navigating newfound independence, they share practical, evidence-based strategies to help families prepare for one of life's biggest transitions.

Whether your child is heading off to a dorm, moving away for the first time, or simply preparing for college life, this conversation offers actionable advice that can reduce stress and set both parents and students up for success.

In this episode, you'll learn:
🎓 How to prepare teens for the transition to college
🏠 Common challenges students face when living independently
💬 Why self-advocacy is one of the most important college skills
🧠 How executive functioning impacts college success
❤️ Ways parents can support without becoming overinvolved
📚 Practical tips for fostering resilience and confidence

Highlights from this episode:

00:00 Why Meaningful Connection Is All Your College Student Needs

01:05 Meet Dr. Liz Seidler & Dr. Sarah Olivo

01:42 Helping Teens Transition to College Independence

04:44 The Biggest Challenges Students Face During Freshman Year

08:44 How Parents Can Best Support Teens Starting College

10:07 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Mind the Story You Tell About College

12:13 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Ask Better Questions & Invite Conversation

15:39 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Create an Emotional Plan Before Move-In

18:42 4 Ways Parents Can Help: Listen Before You Problem-Solve

22:12 Parent Group Chats: Helpful Resource or Hidden Pitfall?

26:35 What College Students Actually Find Most Helpful

28:46 Why Meaningful Campus Connections Matter for Student Success

31:44 Listen to the “College Is Fine, Everything's Fine" Podcast

If you're getting ready to send your child to college or you have a college student who has just returned home, this episode is one you won't want to miss.

To learn more about Dr. Liz Seidler and Dr. Sarah Olivo, please visit their “College is Fine, Everything’s Fine” podcast website, YouTube channel or individual practice websites:

Listen to “College Is Fine, Everything's Fine” Podcast here: https://www.collegeisfinepodcast.com/

“College is Fine, Everything's Fine” YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@CollegeIsFinePodcast

Dr. Liz Seidler’s website: https://www.cbtridgefield.com/

Dr. Sarah Olivio’s website: https://www.drsaraholivo.com/

Additional Resources Discussed in this episode:

Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students by Alexis Redding
https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Health-College-Research-Supporting/dp/B0FQ9HXNB6

👍 If you found this helpful, subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast and share this episode with another parent preparing for college season.

🎙️ Hosted by Clinical Psychologists Annalise Caron and Suzanne Allen.

🔔 New episodes every Wednesday — subscribe so you never miss one.

✉️ Newsletter:https://drscaronandallen.com/

📱 Instagram: @theparentingpair

💬 Questions or topic suggestions: hello@theparentingpair.com

DISCLAIMER: The Parenting Pair Podcast is designed for informational and educational purposes only. Do not rely on the information presented in this podcast as a substitute or replacement for professional -- psychological or medical -- advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have concerns about you or a family member's well being, please contact a licensed mental health professional or physician.